DFL 2018 Week 3: Football is stupid and I hate it.

Didja see the games this weekend?

Didja *hear* about the games this weekend?

Cuz if either of those answers is yes, then you know what I'm talking about.

Kenneth gets it.

 So,I'm just going to run down a few things that are confusing the ever loving shit out of me:

1. The Browns broke a 2 year non-winning streak.
2. The Browns have a better record than the Pats, the Giants, the Falcons, and the Cowboys.
3. Miami is still undefeated.
4. Arguably the best RB in the league has still not played a single snap and is on the trading block.
5. The Bills somehow managed to spank the living hell out of the Vikings IN MINNESOTA.
6. The Lions beat the Patrioits.
7. The backup quarterback on the Bucs is the highest scoring player in the league.
8. The refs are handing out roughing the passer calls like candy.

I'm sure that there's more, but seriously.  I haven't a clue as to what is going on in the NFL right now.

Yeah, I guess, let's not dwell on it.  Let's just see the tomfoolery that shook out because of it.

Elimination league.  I'll just put this here:

Also, Josh took a strike on the Vikings as well.  (He's not on this list because he's not eliminated yet.)  So, yeah.  Josh, Phil, and McClennen are the only ones left, each with one strike.  But hey, at least I proved my team name right (Phil's Gettin' Past Week 3!!).  Also:

Just sayin'...

Pick 'ems..... Well, Ben continues to have a frustratingly good pick 'ems year (by pretty much blindly picking winners and then having them all hit... ugh...)  So, Ben and Mike both went 5-1, Phil went 4-2, and Josh, Terri, and Crutch all went 3-3.  Honestly, seeing how things played out this weekend, I'm kinda surprised that people did this well.  Here's where we stand:

(On our feet!)

Phil: 13-5

Ben: 12-6

Mike: 10-8

Josh:  9-9

Terri: 8-10

Crutch:  8-10

So.. good luck everyone moving forward, you'll need.  Except Ben, of course.  He seems to have a deal with a luck dragon ...

Just do me a favor, Ben.  Keep your horse away from the swamps, dammit.

And now on to our sad little games this week.  Nobody even broke into triple digits here. And the closest that we got was Mike.  I think that we can all agree that we feel a little dirty any week where Mike is top dog.

Mike (99.19) vs Terri (77.09).  OK I'll admit it.  I love seeing couples face each other.  There's something so very bitter and raw about it.  Since Terri and Mike are the sole remaining couple in the league, I was looking forward to this.  The extra bonus here is that Mike actually delivered the beat down of the week on Terri.  The thing that really hurt?  Terri actually hit line up Nirvana, but Mike did not.  He's still starting two TEs though.  

I mean, you're probably getting this respect from the doghouse,but still.

Steve (71.31) vs D (61.24).   (Side note:  Notice the drop off in points from the winning game to this one...)  Steve came out swinging on this one.  Goff put up best numbers all season.  Johnson, Rudolf, and Adams also hitting double digits.  D didn't actually fair too badly...Stafford, Sanders, and Evans put in solid double digit games, but sadly, it wasn't enough.  Somehow D's bench full of scrubs was able to put up over 30 points.  But when you start scrubs and you bench scrubs... Kind of a crap shoot as to who to start.

Crutch (69.22) vs Ben (54.00).  Well, Crutch somehow figured out a way to keep his undefeated season rolling.  Well done, sir.  And the fact that you finally put in Fitzpatrick, only to have him outscored by Watson is delish! Ben also put in his crazy hot (points-wise, not looks-wise) QB in.  And that's good news too because Mahomes was the only thing working for Ben this week.  Also, side note... Pat Mahomes doe NOT sound like I thought that he would.

More Southern Kermit the Frog as opposed to starting QB, really.

Skoot (67.54) vs. Kyle (50.73)  Hey look.  Skoot's still in it!  Of course, he started 4 players who totaled less than 5 points, but a win is a win.  Especially when Matt Ryan goes off th hook for a 5 TD + 2 2pt conversion game.  Kyle put up some decent numbers (thanks to Howard, Brown, and Thomas), but it wasn't enough.  His bench wasn't all that much better.  But buck up. Next week is a new week.

And any given Sunday and all that...

Patrick (65.43) vs. Phil (63.23).  This... yeah, this was the game that made me really questions what the fuck was going on.  (See, pretty much all of the opening...) Going into the Sunday night game, I had 3 players (Brady, Conner, and Howard) and Patrick was done.  I just needed 20 points and the game would be mine.  Spoilers:  I didn't make it and football is stupid. I don't think that anyone necessarily deserved to win this game, but you certainly deserved to lose it slightly less.

Josh (51.01) vs McClennen (47.74).  Yeah, this was not a pretty game....  This was like an opposite Ben.... If Josh had played literally anyone else in the league, he would have lost.  In fact, if McClennen had guessed a little better with respect to who starts, he would have pretty much doubled his score.  But Josh learns an important lesson this week. If you're heavy on a particular team (in his case, the Vikings), if they have a bad week, you have a worse one.

As if the league wasn't funky enough, next week is week 4.  You know what that means, right?  Here come the bye weeks!  So, good luck everyone!