I know, I know, you're saying to yourself, "Phil, why they heck are you linking to a Western that's over half a century old? You don't even like Westerns all that much!!" Well, it's because I just watched it and there's a funny story behind *why* this particular movie was on my radar. Before I get to the movie, lemme tell you the funny story.
So, it was the autumn of 2005 (I think, not sure) and the wife and I were on our way to one of my buddy's wedding. At the freaking Ren Faire!! How freaking cool is that? It'll tell you - very freaking cool. I was in the wedding party, so I got to wear a dublet *AND* both my wedding sword and a dagger that was given to me as a groomsman present. *Really* cool wedding - and the reception was pretty cool too. Didn't happen till the next day - but they had a Dragon wedding cake. That is, not a cake with a dragon on top - a freaking dragon make of three layers a super-delicious cake! Only bummer in the whole day was that I got into my only car accident in my entire life coming out of the Faire itself. Luckily, the lady driving the other car was a bit too buzzed to want to call the cops, so I got off scott-free. (I was behind her, and she stopped short, so I nudged her. Both parties in the cars were OK and the cars themselves just exchanged a little paint. So, I dodged a bullet there...) But on the plus side, after the accident, we ate at Jack In The Box, which I had never been at before and was a good as the corporate mascot would have me believe...
Anyway, I'm getting a bit side-tracked here. The wedding took place at around noon and lasted about 30 minutes. So, the rest of the day, we had to wander around the Faire. Like I said before, very cool. Anyways, we were at a show (maybe the flying Kalamazov Brothers? Not sure - there were two jugglers to be sure) and really into it. About halfway through the show, a guy who was middle of the front-ish section of the audience gets up and starts leaving. So, ,the two guys on stage, with their tongues firmly in their cheeks, start trying to convince the guy to stay. Stuff like "O, you don't like the show so far? Don't worry it gets better!" and "Come on, I know that my partner smells, but that's no reason to stop the show dead." Anyway, as the guy is about 3/4 of the way down the aisle, both of the performers shout "Shane!" in unison. Joy starts laughing and I look at her with my head cocked like a dog to whom you are trying to explain basic algebra.
The conversation goes something like this:
Phil: "I don't get it. What's Shane?"
Joy: "You know.. like the movie."
Phil: "....."
Joy: "The movie Shane."
Phil: "...uhh..."
Joy: "You've never seen Shane?"
Phil: "I've never even *heard* of Shane."
So, she explained that it was a cowboy movie from the 50s where a cowboy befriends a young boy. There's an adventure, but in the end, the titular character (the cowboy) has to leave. The young boy is left watching helplessly as he rides off into the sunset. The only thing that the boy can do is to shout "Shane!" pleadingly as the titular (hehe - I love that word - titular!) character keeps riding.
Being the smart ass that she is, Joy picked me up a DVD of Shane for Christmas. Haha.... That would be Christmas 2005, BTW. Yes, it has taken me almost 5 years to watch the movie. But I have been busy. Like, um, I've been writing a blog, which has kept me very busy....
So, that catches us up to this week, where I finally found some time to watch it. (Not much going on when your body decides to wake you up at 4:30 on a weekday...) All in all, a pretty blah movie, but enjoyable. Kinda stereotypical cowboy movie - lemme give you a few examples. The following actually happened in the movie, without the slightest bit of irony:
- Something exciting happens and a woman screams and faints.
- A bar fight breaks out and someone breaks a chair over someone else's head.
- There is a Swede in the movie and he doesn't get killed. (How many cowboy movies have you seen where a Swede gets killed?)
- "The Law" is constantly referred to. As in "Are you the law in the town now?" and "The law is three days ride away."
- The boots are crazy reverbed out whenever anyone walks anywhere.
- Someone says a new bad guy just rode in to town. The titular character says "Was he a gun slinger?" The guy who saw him responds "I don't know." So, Shane says "What did he look like?" "He was skinny and had a black hat." From this description, Shane concludes that not only is this guy a gun slinger, but he's actually Wilson, the baddest ass mofo that he's ever seen...
- A stranger shows up on the main character's property unexpected.
- Though he doesn't threaten them directly, the main characters are intimidated enough to pull a gun on him to get him to leave.
- This stranger has a gun which, when other jerks that the main characters do know are ruffians show up, scares them off. The stranger seems to know how to handle a gun and has a bit of a shady past.
- So, the main characters invite him to stay for dinner, for some reason.
- The main characters has explicitly stated that their son it too young to handle a gun.
- The stranger teaches him how to handle a gun.
- When the mother catches the stranger doing this, the stranger proceeds to lecture her on why she's stupid for being worried about guns.
- (BTW, the stranger wasn't teaching safe gun handling; he was teaching the boy to quick draw.)
- When a gun fight is imminent the stranger convinces the father not to go (yay!) by beating the hell out of him (boo!) and when the stranger starts to lose the fight, he whips out his gun and pistol whips him, knocking him out (WTF?).
- Knowing full well that the stranger is heading to town to shoot and kill at least 2 armed men (and probably more..), the boy follows him. The mother, seeing this, smiles as if to say "Boys will be boys!"
