American Horror Story: Asylum (uugh)

Full disclaimer:  I absolutely *loved* the first season of American Horror Story.  I thought that both the concept and execution were brilliant.  Now, I just got done watching the second season (Asylum), and it left me in a sour mood.  It's not all that surprising as about 4 episodes into the season, I was sick of it.  But I hung on since 1) I thought maybe something would come together in the final reel and 2) I'm anal retentive enough to finish something once I've started it, even if I don't like it.

And now, I hear that the third season is gearing up to be "Historical Romance Horror."  OK, I admit that this piques my interest, but so did an insane asylum, and that was fumbled so exquisitely.

Now, instead of admitting that I just wasted like 10 hours watching television and letting it go, I'm going to gripe on the internet in a semi-humorous way because... well, I'm dumb.  Anyway, here is kind of the way that the season went for me, in a fictitious conversation that I had with Ryan Murphy (the creator/writer/producer/show runner - basically the show's mama).  And away we go!

(Obviously, there's some spoilers ahead; so unless you've seen season 2, you might want to skip..)

Me:  Ryan Murphy!  Congrats on Season 1 of AHS.  Really, this is the golden age of television.  Loved every second of it!

Ryan:  You like that?  Just wait until you get to Season 2!!

Me:  Intriguing... Tell me more.

Ryan:  Well, it takes place in an insane asylum.

Me:  Ooooo... sounds great!  So, you'l be playing around with what's real and what's not?

Ryan:  Nah, that's played out. 

Me:  Uuuh... OK.  What do you have in mind?

Ryan:  I'm really going to stick it to the Catholic Church!  Screw those bastards!

Me: Hmmm... OK.  I've got faith in you, man.  So, an inditement of old institutions, abuses of power.  Yeah, I could see that.

Ryan:  Oh, but that's not all.  Let's throw some struggle between good and evil.

Me:  OOO.. Now that does sound good!

Ryan:  And Nazis.

Me:  Really?  Seems a little far out, but let's see what it's about.

Ryan:  Don't forget about aliens.

Me:  What?  Aliens?  Let's focus here a little.

Ryan:  We haven't even gotten to the serial killers.

Me:  Wait - more than one?

Ryan: O yeah.  And for some reason, the angel of death on occasion.  Shit, let's throw some mutants and an easily dismissed possession too!

Me:  Well, that sounds like an awful lot, but as long as you've got a solid cast of characters.

Ryan:  No doubt, son.  We've got somewhere between 3 and 5 main characters and another dozen recurring characters.

Me:  Wait. *5* main characters?  You've got me pretty nervous here.

Ryan:  Come on now, buddy.  I had 3 main characters in the first season, and that was brilliant!

Me:  Yeah, you're right.  So, these 5 characters are going to be in a single tightly related story line, like the family in the first season?

Ryan:  Heck no!  Completely different stories, and very diverse arcs.  Some of the stories don't even have anything to do with the other characters.

Me:  Huh.

Ryan:  Don't worry though.   We've still got a strong cast.  Just as strong as the first season!

Me:   Well, that's good.  It was cool that you found some unknown actors and then backed it up with a strong well known actor.

Ryan:  How about this?  Most of the cast is back.

Me:  Uh... like in the same parts?

Ryan:  No, man.  Completely different story!

Me:  So... why the same ac-

Ryan:  Cuz I'm Ryan *FUCKING* Murphy.  That's why.

Me:  Well, as long as we still get some good scares.  I mean, there was some really tight imagery from season 1 that still sticks with me.

Ryan:  You like spooky stuff?  Creepy stuff?  Things that will get you to the edge of your seat?

Me:  Hell yeah!  Now you're talking!

Ryan:  Oh, we're not doing that this season.

Me:  But... why not?

Ryan:  Yeah, apparently, the kids like tying people up and then torturing them.

Me:  But... that's not scary. It's just gross.

Ryan:  Scary.  Gross.  What's the difference?

Me:  There's a lot of difference actually.

Ryan:  Listen, I've got too much going on to make American Horror Story scary.

Me:  Well ... it sounds like you're going to have a lot of things to wrap up.

Ryan:  Yep.  Got a plan for that.

Me:  Oh, good.  Exit strategy!  Lay it on me.

Ryan:  See, first thing is that we're going to have 3 full episodes of denouement.

Me:  You.... 3?

Ryan:  Yeah!  It's going to be so great!

Me:  OK.. well, that should give you plenty of time to wrap everything up.

Ryan:  You'd think that, right? We're still not going to explain some things.

Me:  What?  Like what?

Ryan:  Aliens for one.  And remember the 3 kids who started to terrorize Adam Levine and his whore in the first episode?

Me:  Yeah?

Ryan:  We're going to ignore them altogether!!!

Me: So, you're telling me... that there just happened to be three separate parties in an abandoned asylum at the same time.

Ryan:  Yep.

Me: And that two of them were armed to the teeth, prepared for homicide.

Ryan:  Yep.

Me:  Also, going to recreate crimes that happened 50 years prior.

Ryan:  Yep.

Me: ...

Ryan:  Don't worry.  It's going to be cool.

Me:  I'm  not sure ...

Ryan:  Come on guy.  It's going to be cool, trust me.

Me (after sitting through 13 episodes):  I hate you, Ryan Murphy.

Ryan:  Don't worry, next season is going to be better.

Me:  Promise?

Ryan:    Yep. tehehehehe.

DFL 2012 Week 17: And that's a Wrap!

That's it!  Week 17 rolls out the door, the NFL regular season is over and the DFL 2012 has come to a close.  And with this post, we complete the first year in the history of the league where we had a write up every single week.  Special thanks to Kookie and Ben for being special celebrity writers for a week each.  Why do we write this stuff up?  Tell 'em Eriksons:

We'll divide this write up into a couple of sections, cuz that's how we do:

Week 17 Wrap up

Boom!  And that's one hell of a way to wrap up a season.

Pick'em.
No real changes here week to week.  Crutch went 2-2 and Kookie and I went 1-3. The big winner on picks this week was Mike G, who was the only other one to pick this week and went 3-1, falling just one short of grabbing the 4th place from Ben, who didn't make any picks.

The league itself
We'll start at the top and work our way down, as is tradition:

The Hogwarts Bowl (thanks to Kookie for the name) (Championship Game):  Melanie versus Missy.  Big upset here!  3 people picked Melanie, though Missy walked away with the prize.  What happened?  Well, the big guns kept blzing on either side.  In the end though, Missy just barely eeked out a victory, even with her TE getting the big old goose egg.  As championship games go, this one was pretty good, with the final score being within 6 points.  Fun fact on this game:  Of the 8 benched players in this game, 2 of them were on the IR and another one was out.  Geez, ladies feel free to ditch injured players. :-)

Philly Bowl (Bronze Game):  Phil versus Patrick.  Phil's team went buck wild.  And, and I'm not sure how many times this happened all season, everyone called it (even Yahoo!).  None of Patrick;s players hit double digits,a nd all of Phil's players did (with the exception of my TE, who I had to pick up at the last minute) and Dez Bryant (who is playing with a broken finger - give him a break!)  So, not only does Phil pull down the bronze for this game, but he also snagged the beat down of the week, with 68 points.  Booyah!

PennState Bowl (Why are we playing this consolation game?)  Ben versus RA Dave.  Again people went belly up on the picks for this game.  Ben destroyed RA Dave here.  Somehoe two of Dave's starters scored goose eggs, and one of Ben's did as well, even though Ben almost went triple digits.  Sadly, even with all of his players playing Dave wouldn't have been able to match Ben's starters.  Isn't it nice to play in week 17?  Between injuries and defending players, it's just delightful to watch!

Bitch Bowl (For the lowest standing of whomever made the playoffs):  Joy versus Mike G.  Yes, Mike managed to whoop up on Joy here.  Joy had two players pull down 0 points and Mike G just let loose with Alfred Morris (Seriously, Morris, why didn't you put up numbers like this before I cut  you??  Arrggg!!!)

End of year Stuff

And here we are, looking at the awards for the season.  First off, Pick 'Ems:

1. Crutch (Gold)
2. Kookie (Silver)
3. Phil (Bronze)

(And just remember that Crutch wasn't even in the top picks contention at around week 12.  Way to stick with it, Crutch.)

Next up: Elimination League
Ben took this one home.  Ben took a strike in week 2.  Then, it came down to Joy versus Ben.  Ben outlasted and took home the gold.  Joy took back to back strikes in weeks 8 and 9.  Though elimination league doesn't really do to places, here is the break down:

1. Ben (Gold)
2. Joy (Silver)
3. Phil (Bronze)

I guess we can throw medals out there (though I really hadn't been mentioning it throughout the league since it's kind of a silly contest):

1. Phil (Gold with 20 medals)
2. RA Dave (Silver with 16 metals)
3. Melanie and Crutch (Bronze with 15 medals)

Like I said, kind of a silly contest, so we'll leave it at that.

Now, here are the final standings for the league.  (Remember, we'll be in reverse draft order for next year):

1. Missy (Yep, that's right a 6 seed won it all.) (Gold)
2. Melanie (Silver)
3. Phil (And s 7th seed right up here too!) (Bronze)
4. Patrick (The most painful position)
5. Ben
6. RA Dave
7. Mike G
8. Joy (Bitch of the playoffs)
9. Crutch (King of the Losers)
10. Terri
11. Kookie
12. Skoot

(Yep, the only two teams that were auto drafted finished in first and last place...)

And just for shits and giggles, here's how Yahoo! seeded us right after the draft:

http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/375679?lhst=proj&projtype=draft

1		Taco for the Win	11-2-1	0.821	1293	1181
2		Uncle Fucker	10-4-0	0.714	1282	1213
3		Lint Lickers	10-4-0	0.714	1224	1178
4		ScoobyDoo	8-5-1	0.607	1245	1209
5		Rolling Vengeance	8-6-0	0.571	1256	1250
6		Olympic Cry-Babies	7-7-0	0.500	1160	1186
7		PointFiveDonkey	7-6-1	0.536	1229	1211
8		Superion	7-6-1	0.536	1190	1204
9		Philthy Bastards	5-9-0	0.357	1215	1237
10		Crotch's Penetrators	4-10-0	0.286	1194	1254
11		Team Sweet T	2-11-1	0.179	1131	1187
12		Pittsburgh Maulers	2-11-1	0.179	1111	1220

Good call, Yahoo!, jerks!

(And in case anyone is interested, here is the draft order:

1. Joy
2. RA Dave
3. Phil
4. Mike G
5. Melanie
6. Patrick
7. Crutch
8. Missy
9. Ben
10. Terri
11. Skoot
12. Kookie

)

And on a more serious note...  Missy knocked me out of the play offs in the semi-finals.  Looking at the final scores, I would have beaten either team in the finals, were I not to have been knocked out.    (And were I in the championship game, I would have gotten my third victory against Melanie for the year.  You're killing me, Missy!!!)  So, again, my gold ring is snatched from my hands from Missy.  In fact, she also beat me earlier in the year.  This is the second time that Missy has taken the gold from me.  Next year, I am officially putting a bounty on her head.  Expect some very strong trades the week leading up to our game(s) next year, Missy.

I know that we're not in a keepers league, but I figured that some people might like to really geek out and see the top players this year:

		Rankings		Passing				Rushing		Receiving			Ret	Misc	Fum
Player	Fan Pts	Projected	Actual	Yds	TD	Int	Sack	Yds	TD	Rec	Yds	TD	TD	2PT	Lost
Drew Brees (NO – QB)	320	9	2	5177	43	19	26	5	1	0	0	0	0	0	1
Tom Brady (NE – QB)	297	7	4	4827	34	8	27	32	4	0	0	0	0	0	0
Peyton Manning (Den – QB)	287	64	8	4659	37	11	21	6	0	0	0	0	0	1	2
Aaron Rodgers (GB – QB)	285	5	3	4295	39	8	51	259	2	1	-1	0	0	1	4
Adrian Peterson (Min – RB)	256	31	1	0	0	0	0	2097	12	40	217	1	0	1	2
Brandon Marshall (Chi – WR)	253	25	19	0	0	0	0	-2	0	118	1508	11	0	0	0
Matt Ryan (Atl – QB)	252	41	10	4719	32	14	28	141	1	0	0	0	0	0	2
Robert Griffin III (Was – QB)	240	74	6	3200	20	5	30	815	7	0	0	0	0	0	2
Calvin Johnson (Det – WR)	237	4	18	0	0	0	0	0	0	122	1964	5	0	0	3
Arian Foster (Hou – RB)	230	1	9	0	0	0	0	1424	15	40	217	2	0	0	2
Cam Newton (Car – QB)	228	18	5	3869	19	12	36	741	8	0	6	0	0	0	3
Doug Martin (TB – RB)	226	40	7	0	0	0	0	1454	11	49	472	1	0	0	1
Dez Bryant (Dal – WR)	223	53	21	0	0	0	0	-5	0	92	1382	12	0	1	2
A.J. Green (Cin – WR)	221	15	27	0	0	0	0	38	0	97	1350	11	0	0	1
Russell Wilson (Sea – QB)	215	245	16	3118	26	10	33	489	4	0	0	0	0	0	3
Tony Romo (Dal – QB)	214	60	13	4903	28	19	36	49	1	1	-1	0	0	2	3
Wes Welker (NE – WR)	212	34	45	0	0	0	0	20	0	118	1354	6	0	0	1
Demaryius Thomas (Den – WR)	212	58	29	0	0	0	0	0	0	94	1434	10	0	0	3
Eric Decker (Den – WR)	207	51	33	0	0	0	0	0	0	85	1064	13	0	0	0
Ray Rice (Bal – RB)	207	2	17	0	0	0	0	1143	9	61	478	1	0	0	0
Andre Johnson (Hou – WR)	206	27	35	0	0	0	0	0	0	112	1598	4	0	0	0
Josh Freeman (TB – QB)	198	119	23	4065	27	17	26	139	0	0	0	0	0	1	2
Eli Manning (NYG – QB)	197	52	31	3948	26	15	19	30	0	0	0	0	0	0	1
Reggie Wayne (Ind – WR)	194	83	52	0	0	0	0	-5	0	106	1355	5	0	0	1
Roddy White (Atl – WR)	193	23	39	0	0	0	0	0	0	92	1351	7	0	0	0
Victor Cruz (NYG – WR)	193	21	48	0	0	0	0	0	0	86	1092	10	0	0	0
Matthew Stafford (Det – QB)	192	16	15	4967	20	17	29	126	4	1	3	0	0	1	4
Andrew Luck (Ind – QB)	192	110	14	4374	23	18	41	255	5	0	0	0	0	0	5
Marshawn Lynch (Sea – RB)	192	14	11	0	0	0	0	1590	11	23	196	1	0	0	2
Julio Jones (Atl – WR)	192	20	36	0	0	0	0	30	0	79	1198	10	0	0	0
Trent Richardson (Cle – RB)	190	26	25	0	0	0	0	950	11	51	367	1	0	0	0
Marques Colston (NO – WR)	190	39	44	0	0	0	0	0	0	83	1154	10	0	0	2
Andy Dalton (Cin – QB)	187	137	22	3669	27	16	46	120	4	0	0	0	0	0	4
Michael Crabtree (SF – WR)	187	129	50	0	0	0	0	8	0	85	1105	9	0	0	0
Alfred Morris (Was – RB)	185	240	12	0	0	0	0	1613	13	11	77	0	0	0	3
Ben Roethlisberger (Pit – QB)	184	76	42	3265	26	8	30	92	0	0	0	0	0	1	3
Vincent Jackson (TB – WR)	184	67	30	0	0	0	0	0	0	72	1384	8	0	1	0
James Jones (GB – WR)	182	183	54	0	0	0	0	0	0	64	784	14	0	0	0
Tony Gonzalez (Atl – TE)	181	105	57	0	0	0	0	0	0	93	930	8	0	0	0
Jimmy Graham (NO – TE)	180	11	46	0	0	0	0	0	0	85	982	9	0	0	0
C.J. Spiller (Buf – RB)	179	86	20	0	0	0	0	1244	6	43	459	2	0	0	3
Randall Cobb (GB – WR)	179	123	56	0	0	0	0	132	0	80	954	8	1	0	1
Matt Schaub (Hou – QB)	174	126	41	4008	22	12	27	-9	0	1	-6	0	0	0	0
Joe Flacco (Bal – QB)	174	134	32	3817	22	10	35	22	3	0	0	0	0	1	4
Jason Witten (Dal – TE)	173	96	70	0	0	0	0	0	0	110	1039	3	0	0	0
Carson Palmer (Oak – QB)	171	122	37	4018	22	14	26	36	1	0	0	0	0	2	5
Darren Sproles (NO – RB)	166	48	68	0	0	0	0	244	1	75	667	7	0	1	0
Sam Bradford (StL – QB)	165	187	34	3702	21	13	35	127	1	0	0	0	0	4	1
Frank Gore (SF – RB)	165	57	26	0	0	0	0	1214	8	28	234	1	0	0	1
Jamaal Charles (KC – RB)	164	17	24	0	0	0	0	1509	5	35	236	1	0	0	3

Looking forward to DFL 2013

Now, I'm too smart to ask now who's going to be coming back for the 2013 season.  Because right now, there are 11 really pissed people and one smugly happy person.  Geez, right now, I might not even come back next year.  (Oh, who am I kidding?  I'll be back next year, just to put the beat down on Missy...)  However, think about whether you want to come back next year.  I seriously hope that we can do this again, but I get the feeling that there are a few people who may have had enough this year.  Lemme know sooner than later once you make up your mind, so that I can find some new suckers players.

I know that there were a lot of proposals about things that people wanted to change this year.  However, its pretty late, so I'll just jot down a few that I remember off the top of my head.  If you have more, leave them in the comments section so that we don't miss anything:

• Allow partial points.
• Try to pull down WR point totals a bit.
• Remove 1 WR position
• Add two flex WR/RB positions  (So, essentially change a WR to WR|RB and add a new WR|RB position)
• Add another bench slot (or two?)
• Put the Keepers thing back up for vote.  (A guy can dream, can't he?)
• Auction style draft?  (I'm still iffy on this one, but I'm willing to try if we get a strong majority on it...)

That's about all that I have for this season.  I hope that everyone had fun.  I think that it was one hell of a good season.   Lots of ranking movement throughout the season and there really wasn't a dominant team this year.  So, all in all, I'm calling this a really good season.  And why knows?  Maybe next year, I can find gold.  Dammit.