DFL 2018 Week 16: Merry Christmas - and Funk All Dis.

Well, it's Christmas Day, but that doesn't stop this train from rolling on.  I'm sure that by now everyone is full of Christmas cheer, merriment, and spirit of the season.  Oh, and bitter rage.

OK, Keep it together, Phil... Keep it together.  Anyways, I'll keep it short this week because there are fewer and fewer games that matter and, I mean, come on. It's Christmas.

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Pick 'ems!  Well, as good as last week was, this week was at least consistent in its mediocrity.  Phil, Crutch, and Mike all went 2-2, while Benbot pulled up the rear at 1-3.  There was some variation, but everyone missed on picking Patrick, and everyone hit on Kyle.  So, one last time for Josh:

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That leaves us with the following for the post-season:
Phil:  6-2
Crutch:  6-2
Mike:  6-2
Ben:  4-4

And overall:
Phil:  62
Crutch:  53
Josh:  49
Mike:  47
Ben:  46
Terri:  27

Normally, I would go from highest score to lowest score, but, ironically, it's reverse of that in order of importance.   So, we'll start at the highest seeded game to the lowest this week.

Patrick (1st seed: 50.81) vs Josh (5th seed:  76.88).  Boy oh boy, the upsets keep rolling in Josh's favor.  On Patrick's side, Rivers shits the bed, Cooper shits the bed, Kelce shits the bed...McCaffrey and Crosby hit projections, but it really doesn't matter.  Josh's insane running back core did their work and Rothlisberger decided that nothing's over til it's over.

Nothing's over, just get me something to drink!

Mike (2nd seed: 82.84) vs. Ben (3rd seed: 64.80).  Mike came out swinging.  Woods, Anderson, and Williams all had 15+ point games.  Brees was a little slower, only pulling in 11 points.  Sadly Gronk wasn't even looked at on Sunday.  Ben put his best foot forward, but really only Mahomes stepped up.  Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, and Mike sallies forth.

Evil Ash, notwithstanding.

D (8th seed:  83.81) vs. Phil (4th seed:  60.04).  Dammit.  D's team kicked ass and my team collapsed. 

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Sadly, not even with that much style...

Kyle (6th seed: 96.06) vs. Crutch (7th seed:  81.88).  Well, look who stepped up!  Kyle's team exceeded expectations pretty much across the board.  Considering that he was projected to win in the first place, it was kind of a slaughter.  So, when Crutch very kindly asked not to be in the bitch bowl, this was Kyle's response:

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So, that means with the results of the semi-final round that it'll be Josh vs Mike in the Championship (neither have won the gold before - huzzah!) and Patrick vs Ben in the race for bronze next week.  Of course, we'll also be looking at Phil vs Crutch for the bitch bowl.  Who can be the biggest post season loser???  D and Kyle will also face off, but really who cares about that?

And on a completely unrelated note... Foles is tearing it up again down the stretch... How freaking cool would it be if he were able to sneak the Eagles into the playoffs this year??

We're all counting on you, St. Nick.

DFL 2018 Week 15: It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...

... Oh who am I kidding?  It was only the blurst of times!  I mean did you see those games???

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Yeah, it's going to be a bitter blog post.  So get ready....

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So, the good news is that we have only 2/3 the number of games this week as we did last.  And next week we'll only have half of that number... well, only half that count at least....  So, we'll do the quick, quick version of the write up from here on out

This kid gets it.

Pick ems!  OK this was kind of a gimme.  All of the games were slated to be blow outs.  So, everyone, except the Ben bot (who made his selections too soon) bingo'ed this week.  The playoff totals?

Phil:  4-0

Crutch:  4-0

Josh:  4-0

Ben:  3-1

Which brings the total for the season to:

Phil:  60

Crutch: 51

Josh:  49

Mike:  45

Ben:  45

Terri:  27

And .. the games:

Ben (3rd seed: 86.99) vs Kyle (6th seed: 46.16).  Really the only blow out of the week.  And accordingly, Ben pulls in the beat down of the week this week. On Ben's side of the ball, everything was coming up Aces.  Prerry much everyone but Ebron and Houston D met or blew away expectations.  And even better news for Ben is that pretty much nobody on his team is on the injury report...  Looking good, Ben...  Kyle, on the other hand... made all the right choices, and none of them panned out.  Just a really bad time to go belly up, really.

Patrick (1st seed: 65.67) vs D (8th seed: 62.36).  This should have been lambs to the slaughter.  Patrick was estimated to blow the barn doors off, and he *barely* eeked out a win here.  And that was only on Monday night.  When McCaffery threw a touch down.  O man... What a nail biter.  D - Yeah...  your team just stunk it up.  Except for Hopkins and Fairbairn, who carried you.  But, man wouldn't it have been great for another 8 seed to advance??

Mike (2nd seed:  60.99) vs Crutch (7th seed: 56.51).  Well, this was pretty much the battle of good QBs doing badly.  :( Running backs kicked ass, and Kickers kicked ass... everyone else... kinda eh.  I would be whole-heartedly cheering for Mike here, but he was only using 1 TE this week.  I mean, his other TE didn't actually score, so it would have cost him the game, but I do like a little razzle dazzle.

Josh (5th seed: 55.54) vs Phil (4th seed: 52.35).  OK, if you've seen my Facebook feed today you know that I'm pretty much in hate with Alvin Kamara right now.  Yes, he was the top scorer on my team, but he also screwed me pretty hard in not 1 but 2 (and maybe 3) leagues.  Outside of Allen leaving the game on his first attempted pass, Josh's team did pretty well across the board.  This was the only upset this week. So, well done, Josh!  Go kick some ass.

And that's it!  Kyle, D, Crutch, and I now compete to avoid being playoff bitch.  And Ben, Patrick, Mike, and Josh are all still vying for the gold.  Good luck everyone! See you next week!

DFL 2018 Week 14: Goodbye Regular Season (with a bang!!)

Well, that was a painful week, wasn't it?  I mean kinda across the board, people just shitting their pants. Crutch got stuck in traffic and couldn't make his pick 'em picks, I scored the third most points and still received the beat down of the week, Stephen starting Goff and somehow loses him 7 points and thus boots him from the playoffs, and Terri coming within a quarter of a point of a spite win over her dear husband.

Yeah, that kinda sums it up, doesn't it?

Let's go from Turrible to Wonderful.   We got ourselves a second week in a row with a bingo.  Last week, it was Crutch, this week, Josh!  THen, Phil went 5-1, Mike 4-2, and Ben-bot rounds us out at 2-3.  Which leaves us like this for the pick 'ems for the regular season:

Phil:  56 (Gold)

Crutch: 47 (Silver)

Mike:  45 (Bronze)

Josh:  45 (Bronze)

Ben:  42

Terri:  27

So, congrats to Josh for sneaking into a tie for Bronze right at the last minute!!

Bonus:  Mike has to share 3rd place now.  hehe

Don't forget - we continue on with the pick 'ems next week into the playoffs.  We'll reset to do a play offs only contest and an overall one.  So, go make those picks!

On to the games!

Patrick (131.26) vs. Phil (74.65).  I think that we can all agree with on thing here: Fuck.  This. Game.  Good lord, Brady *finally* wakes up for me, only to have pretty much all of Patrick's starters go double digits.  Going into the playoffs no less.

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And that's all that I have to say about that.

Ben (89.20) vs. Crutch (51.87).  The good news for Crutch?  Finally, Mahomes was contained.  The bad news?  Jones, Mixon,Ebron, and Hilton were not.  They REALLY were not.  To be fair though... Hats off to Crutch for holding on hope by keeping Hunt on the bench.  He's definitely not coming back this season, but don't tell Crutch...

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Kyle (70.20) vs. Skoot (48.73).  Well, Skoot did about as expected....  Ryan and Barkley kicked ass, and the rest were also starters.  For Kyle?  Luck kept quietly pulling in massive points, Juju was Juju and everyone else was just good enough to snag a win right when he needed it the most.  As a side note, feels kinda like Kyle might have enough late season talent to make a run at the Championship.  Keep your eyes peeled.

Josh (61.43) vs. McClennen (58.88).  Josh could have rested on his laurels here and just taken the easy win from a guy who gave up in September.  But good for him that he didn't because he barely eeked this one out. The fact that Fournette and Diggs barely suited up this week was probably making Josh sweat about sneaking into the playoffs.  But with an almost 3 point victory, Josh pulls in the win and a playoff berth.  

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D (59.65) vs. Stephen (54.19).  OK, let's be clear about this one right up front.  D didn't so much win this one, as Stephen lost it.   And really, through no fault of his own. I mean, who would have thought that the G mean would go crazy to the tune of 40 points against the Skins?  Moreover.. Goff with *4* interceptions?  Ugh.. Did NOT see that one coming! This game was do or die for both teams and D did.  As a side note, if D rides a successful Prescott through December, I'm officially calling shenanigans on the NFL in general.  

Mike (44.22) vs. Terri (43.96).  This was ... a sad game.  Less than 90 points total, and really the only break out was Gronk. I,  mean, I didn't realize he was still starting.  O wait.. he's playing D now... badly.

Miracle In Miami

(Yeah, I could pretty much watch that all day.)

Anyway, well done for making this razor close, in a game that didn't really matter anyways.

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So, where does that leave us?  Well, first off, 4 teams short starting this week.  So, to Stephen, Skoot, Terri, and McClennen, enjoy the off season and be glad that you don't ahve to put up with the stupid tomfoolery for the next three weeks.  And since I'm pretty sure that most of you have stopped reading the write ups a few months ago, let me just say:

Everyone else?  Well, the real season starts now.  Playoffs are the best part of the season...  until they are done, of course.  At which time, they are stupid and suck.  So, Good luck everyone!  May upsets abound!

DFL 2018 Week 13: We're not playing golf, right?

So.. Didja see the scores this week?  Cuz they were... not high..

Well, low score... but you get the idea...

Like only two people broke 70 points:  Patrick, because he's Patrick and none of his players are beat up at all, and D... because shit:

Now, to be honest, this was a pretty harsh week for players too.  McCoy is gone for the year (and this point, you kinda have to feel bad about the skins at this point...), Hunt was cut (and toxic as hell - even the Cowboys aren't touching him!), Green is gone for the year, Conner *might* be done this year, Brieda got banged up again, and just for good measure.... Olsen is gone too.  So, that kinda explains the low scores to some degree...

(Oh, and I just saw that Sanders has a torn ACL as well...)

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Pretty much the NFL right now.....

But even with this tomfoolery, big news.  (See what that was?  It was a segue)

Erm, not that... never that.

Pick 'ems.  We had our first bingo since September.  And it couldn't have happened to a worse person... Crutch bingo'ed this week, which means that he's officially in striking distance of first place, just in time for  the last week of the regular season.  (Spoilers:  that would be next week.)

This was the break down for this week:  Crutch up top with 6-0, Then Josh and Phil with 4-2, Mike goes even at 3-3, and Ben's bot does a paltry 2-4.  That leaves the standings going into the last week of the regular season at:

Phil: 51
Crutch: 47
Mike:  41
Ben: 40
Josh:  39
Terri:  27

So, there's a long shot for first place and a knock down drag out fight for 3rd place...  One week left and then we reset for the playoffs, and we'll do an overall season prize as well.  So, another chance to get in on it, if you've been on the fence!

I think that I've danced around it enough... let's get to the games, such as they are...

Patrick (93.70) vs Kyle (63.21).  Yeah, Patrick *savaged* Kyle here.  I don't even know how he wound up not pulling in the beat down of the week.  Oh, right.  Skoot's in the league - at least on paper.  Kyle actually had some impressive performances, with 3 players in double digits.  Oddly, Luck was absent from this list.  (Not sure if anyone's been following, but Luck was the 4th highest scoring player in the league until last week.)  Unfortuately for Kyle, Patrick came in with gunz blazing.  4 players hit double digits, with two of them close to 20 points and another actually over 20.  This was a fine game, fellas. 

Well, for Patrick at least...

D (75.80) vs Crutch (69.98).  Well, this was certainly the closest of the games.  And considering that a combined 31 points were scored by the kickers and another 10 by the DEFs, the points didn't really come from where you'd expect.  Well done, on having 3 players in double digits, but still losing, Crutch.  (And don't worry, I got bitten by LaCrosse too.  What can a TE do when he's not targeted?)  This was a critical game for D to win, as it keeps his post season hopes alive.  It's going to an uphill battle going against Stephen next week, but doable.  Maybe.

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Josh (67.83) vs Skoot (31.34). Oh, *There's* the beat down of the week. Josh trounces Skoot.Keenan Allen went mad crazy and the Ware acquisition was perfectly timed.  Going forward, it looks like Josh has made some pretty solid moves to both get him into the post season and also to keep him viable. 

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Ben (64.90) vs McClennen (44.13).  Ben had a massive game here.  Even though there was some shake up in KC, Mahomes still came out swinging after his BYE week, pulling in 30 points. McClennen has a player goose egg (ouch - Indy shut out by JAX - never good for a kicker!) and his D go WAY negative.  The big question is whether McClennen goes crazy this week and acts as spoiler to his opponent. 

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Phil (61.73) vs Terri (48.65).  This one had me sweating a good bit.  At variou times each team was up and nobody ever rally ran away with it.  This is what it looked like:

Any time that I play a Garaffa, I always want to crush completely.  This was not that.  But a win is a win, no matter how very, very ugly.

I'm just sayin'....

Mike (59.54) vs Stephen (51.94).  This... this was a genuinely surprising game.  Brees AND Goff both got shut down her.  Gurley was the only one who really dominated, and everyone else was ... OK, I guess?  Except for the Washington D.  The Eagles kinda manhandled them...

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This is Eagle man-handling.... Not good.

And that's about it!  We've got one more regular season game.  Patrick, Mike, Phil, and Ben all have been locked in to the playoffs.  Josh and Crutch are pretty much in, but not guaranteed.  Kyle, Stephen, and D are all on the husp.  (And if I had to pick a favorite, I would probably go with Stephen, who just picked up Jaylen Samuels, who is going to be Pittsburgh's #1 RB unless Conner can make it back in time. Oh, and he can also be played as a tight end too.  Ugh....)  Skoot, Terri, and McClennen..... thanks for playing, but it's pretty much end of the road for you guys.

So, whether you are playing for a playoff berth, or just tying to put off how long it will be before Patrick kicks you out of the playoffs, enjoy this next week.  Last regular season game, guys!  Let's make it a good one!

Surf's up, space ponies!  I'm making gravy without the lumps!!