DFL 2018: Week 12: That's how it's going to be, huh?

Well, we are just sliding along, aren't we?  A third of the league is on a 3 game streak.  Good for some (Ben, Stephen), and bad for others (Phil, Skoot).  I think that we can all agree that the really shitty thing is that as I take my third loss in a row, I'm not only bumped down to 3rd place, but somehow my clinched playoff spot from last week has disappeared.  AmIRightGuys???

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O, screw you too!!!

As a reminder, the elimination league is done, with Josh being the winner.  

So, no more reporting on that.

Next up... Pick 'ems!  Awful, awful week here, fellas.  Only 4 people made picks, and nobody climbed above .500 here.  It's like it was a holiday week or something.

OK, so technically, they have 2nd amendment rights too....

Anyways, Crutch and Mike both went 3-3, while Ben and I only pulled in 2-4.  To be fair, there were only 2 games that the favored team actually won.  Again, who can even guess at this point?  Anyway, Crutch is inching ever closer and Mike caught up to robo-Ben, leaving us like this:

Phil:  47

Crutch:  41

Mike:  38

Ben:  38

Josh:  35

Terri:  27

Keep your picks coming!  Only two more regular season games!!!

Let's look at the games!!!!

Patrick (97.89) vs. Josh (92.05).  Once again, the second highest scorer loses to the highest scorer.  And once again, it's Josh on the painful side of this match up...  Of course, this is the second week in a row that Josh has started Wentz.  So, we'll see where he goes next week. Sadly, as it stands right now, Fournette is going to be suspended next week, which will make things a little awkward for him.  But hey, I'm sure that an injured Wentz will surely pull some magic off, right?

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As for Patrick... man o man... His players are just turning it on down the stretch.  Both McCaffrey and Elliot went off.  And with this win, Patrick all but locks up the 1 seed in the playoffs, leaving the rest of us like this:

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Ben (70.47) vs. Skoot (52.51).  (Holy geez! Look at the drop off in points between the high scoring game and the next in line.  MASSIVE!  I would have hate to have lost that first game!)  Ben continues his winning streak and Skoot continues his losing streak.  Skoot had Barkley going off (so what else is new), and nobody else really doing anything.  On the plus side, he did keep his streak of playing short handed going.  Well done, Skoot! Ben lucked out that his back up QB didn't shit the bed on his golden boy's BYE week.  Mixon and Ebron also contributed nicely to the beat down of the week.  Ironically, the only pick that wasn't for Ben was actually FROM Ben.  So, congratulations?  I guess?

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Stephen (69.02) vs. Crutch (58.42).  Man... I keep thinking that Stephen is out and then his team just gets it together at just the right times.  Chubb is carrying the team righ tnow, but Cook and Adams certainly didn't hurt too much either.  Crutch did a solid job of treading water while HIS golden boys (Hill and Hunt) were on BYE, but it just wasn't enough.  Also, Crutch, you know that you can pull a quarterback who ISN'T playing in Tampa, right?  But who am I to question your QBs?

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Mike (64.97) vs. Phil (57.01).  I love Mike vs. Phil match ups.  They are always good to watch.  This one came down to Monday night.  As long as the new guy Thomas didn't get a touchdown, Phil should be able to take it.  Sadly, Thomas got not one, but two touchdowns and he not only won the game, but acended to 2nd place AND kicked Phil out in the process.  

I'm just sayin'...

Kyle (63.37) vs. Terri (61.21).  Man, what a shit situation this could have been for Kyle.  Terri has pretty much given up for the year (not undeservedly so), and Kyle was THIS close to dropping a game to her.  Luck and Juju (hehe - what a wonderful combination!) were enough to counter balance Cam and Miller, but mostly becaues Johnson didn't actually play this week.  So, Kyle keeps his play off hopes alive... barely.

McClennen (58.45) vs. D (48.23).  Well, McClennen, it certainly was nice of you to spot D TWO positions here.  Funches didn't play and you didn't even bother with a Defense.  D on the other hand somehow found a way to have his defense score less and threw pretty much a Hail Mary when starting Mullens.  I mean, I know that the Niners were only playing Tampa, but seriously?  Mullens?  Respect on the balls, man.    So, well done, McClennnen!  You've just pulled in back to back wins for the first time this season!  Dare you go for a hat trick?

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(I know, I know.. wrong sport, just go with me on this one.)

That's it, ladies and gentlemen!  Only two more weeks of regular season play!  Good luck!

DDFL 2018 Week 11: O geez O man! How close can we get??

I'm not sure if you have checked the scores today, but Yahoo! kinda was fucked today.   This morning, I checked the app and I had less total points than my players actually got.  Then, I checked on the web site, and I had both scored less points than my oponent AND I was on a winning streak.  It's settled down over the last few hours, so I think that Yahoo! has finally gotten its shit together.

I mean, seriously, Yahoo!  What are you?  Bing?

Anyways, assuming that the right scores are out there.... Jesus Murphy!  What a close week this was, pretty much across the board!!

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Well, that's what the bastard winners feel like.  The rest of us were more like the agent, here:

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Ugh... what a kick in the balls!  And if you won this week, well...

Ugh...  But maybe I'm telegraphing myself too much?  Anyways, FOUR of the games were within 2 points... that's insane!

Well, it took us the better part of the season, but we've finally got ourselves the first champion of the season!  THE ELIMINATION LEAGUE IS FINALLY OVER!!!!  McClennen takes the silver, as he took a strike with his ultimately ballsy move of choosing the Cardinals.  That would be insane most weeks, but it was mitigated by the fact that they were playing the Raiders.  Well, OK they were playing Derek Carr and a bunch of shitty no-names that aren't good enough to be traded.  But they were in Raiders uniforms.   So, there you go.   Anyways, way to go balls to the wall there, McClennnen.  And our Winner... Our Champion ...  Our "You know, that guy... who did the thing??" Josh!!  He took the Saints over the Eagles in what can charitably be called a terribly excruciating destruction.  Well done, good sir!

Live stream of Josh right now.

Pick ems!  So, you remember how I was saying that this week was really close?  Well, it showed in the pick 'ems.  Phil, Mike, and Josh all went 3-3.  Ben went 2-4.  But the big winner?  Crutch pulled in 5-1!  I asked how he was able to make such accurate picks in such a tight week.  Crutch declined to give specifics, but was quoted as saying:

Well done, Crutch.  That means that you jumped to second place.  Here's the full standings:

Phil:  45
Crutch:  38
Ben:  36
Mike:  35
Josh:  35
Terri:  27  (The games not over yet, Terri!  Plenty of time to get back in it!!)

Now, let's get into the games!  And just to point out what a screw up week this was, it should be noted that NOBODY actually made it to 80 points this week.  I mean, I know that we've lowered points and all, but damn.... this was a rough week....

Wasn't quite sure how to gif this, but I'd say that this
summarizes the situation nicely.

Ben (79.99) vs Patrick (77.98).  Well, Patrick through everything that he had at Ben this week, leaving only 6.85 points on the bench.  And had he started that guy, he would have won.  But really,  why the HELL would you start Jalen Richard over Alshon Jeffery?  You wouldn't.  This week was just stupid.  Ben, on the other hand, had plenty to spare.  The weird thing here is that his tight end scored -0.1 points... You know how?  He threw an incomplete pass.  And that's it. 

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(Picture unrelated, but isn't it beautiful?)

Mike (79.85) vs Kyle (78.11).  Battle of the veteran QBs just beating on each other!!!  Kyle's Luck racked up 21 points, and Mike's Brees threw down 27.  Pretty much every postion lined up points-wise, which is interesting.  The big difference here being that Mike's Jordan Reed pulling in solid double digits.  It's almost like the primary QB was bent in a very unnatural way, which lead to the back up QB dumping the ball off a lot.  Almost like that..

I saw the actual hit and believe me, this is easier to watch.

D (77.71) vs Skoot (53.50).  OK, so *technically* Skoot started a full roster.  It's just that two of his players goose egged, and another was left with a single point.  So, even though D's defense went WAY negative, he still was able to administer the beat down of the weak.  Also, just a quick side note... D has Manning and Stafford as QBs.... talk about having to pick from only terrible choices each week.  Geez!

Lemme just look up this reference... o dear... no more using this joke...

Terri (68.41) vs Josh (60.66).  Woah!  Look at Terri!  Pulling in her third win of the season!  Really, the only mistake that she made was putting in the wrong LA Defense.  (To be fair, the Chargers were projected at 5, but only pulled in -0.4, and the Rams were projected at -0.82 and pulled in 6.13 - so who the hell even knows any more???) As for Josh...Well, he had Kirk Cousins, who pulled in 11.47 points.  NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  He also had Big Ben, who scored 15 points.  STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  So he went and picked up Carzon Wentz, who had a mind-boggingly bad -4.8 points and cost him the game.  Maybe a little QB heavy, man... Maybe...  Also, fun side note, Josh actually snaked Wentz away from me on the waiver wire last week... so, like thanks for jumping on that grenade for me, buddy.

Terri - I'm still on your roster, but unable to play for the rest of
the year.  Can you cut me so that I can go back to Florida?

McClennnen (65.77) vs Crutch (64.96).  Man, talk about razor thin victories.  This wasn't even a point of separation.  But hey!  McClennen just doubled his number of wins in a single week!  It really should have been a gimme going into Monday night, but it was a nail biter since Crutch had Hell and Hunt still left to play.  Even though there was over 100 points on Monday night, they couldn't quite put Crutch over the top.

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Stephen (62.74) vs Phil (61.71).  Uggh... I hate being in the "Well, someone has to win" bowl.  But here we are, and it was CLOSE again.  Going into Monday night, I said "Well, as long as Goff doesn't go crazy, I should have this one."  Anyone wanna guess what happened?  Yeah, ANOTHER one of my TEs went on IR.  Oh, yeah, and Goff went buck wild, giving Stephen the game.  And this guy went wild:

Also, side note.  "Goff Gif" is ridiculously fun to type and say.

So, that's it!  Another week in the books.  We're in the short rows now, fellas.  Two teams locked in playoff berths (Patrick and Phil). There's still a lot of competition for the lower slots.  So, have at it!  (McClennen and Terri, I think that if you can make a run here, you're still technically not out yet..  So, keep pounding, as they say.)

DFL 2018 Week 10: The short, short version.

Hey guys...  Well, it's that time of year again.  Where the leaves are changing color, it's getting just a little cooler, and football is in high gear.  Oh, yeah, and my kids are bringing home every conceivable illness to share with me.

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So, yeah, I could lament that I took another heartbreaking loss this week *cough*bullshit*cough*. 

I could get excited that Le'veon decided to sit and what wonderful news that is for any owners of Conner...

Statement from GM Kevin Colbert on RB Le’Veon Bell:

"I want to confirm that Le’Veon Bell did not sign his Franchise Tender today and, as a result, he will not be eligible to play football during the 2018 season."

— Pittsburgh Steelers (@steelers) November 13, 2018

Sorry, Terri.  :(

But I'm not going there.  I'm going to bed.  At least I will be, once this post is officially out there for your consumption.

So.. On with the show!!!!

Elimination league.  Man,I really thought that there was going to be at least one strike handed out this week.  Browns beat the Falcons, Bills going hog wild on the Jets, Titans thwomping the Pats, and Dallas toasting da iggles....But no.  McClennen and Josh both picked KC over Arizona (to be fair, this had a massive spread too), and both advance.  

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Pick 'ems.  Well, if last week was the week of painful groans for shitty picks, this week was the week of cheearful huzzahs! for good picks.  Phil, Crutch, Mike, and Josh all went 4-2.  Ben went 3-3.  And Terri - Oh man!! Terri forgot to make picks!!  So, that leaves us with:

Phil: 42

Ben: 34

Crutch: 33

Mike: 32

Josh: 32

Terri:  27

So, pretty much everyone is within striking distance of each other... Well... I'm kinda ahead, but there are still 4 more weeks of the regular season, so plenty of time for me to fuck up.

Let's get into the games, shall we?

Stephen (111.12) vs. McClennen (55.03).  Geez Louise!!  Stephen, you are the streakiest of the streaky.  When you win, you REALLY FREAKING WIN.  This is the second time this season that you scored the most points in the week, delivered the beat down of the week, AND doubled your competitor's point total.  As for McClennen... Well, on the plus side, you have the longest streak in the league.  I mean 7 in a row isn't something to shake a stick at... Well, it kinda is, but for all of the wrong reasons.

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Patrick (96.24) vs. D (73.58).  Patrick knocked this one right the hell out of the park.  Zeke and McCaffrey topped 50 points by themselves.  And D?  Well, you did hit line up Nirvana, even though one of your starters did goose egg.  (And he did start too - he just missed as many PATs as he made....)  So, Patrick, with this win, you climb right into 1st place...

Dammit.

Josh (86.07) vs. Mike (68.24).  Well, this was a slugfest!  Josh started Thursday night off with a 30+ game by Big Ben.  Mike responded with a 26 point game by Brees.  So Josh responded by unleashing Gordon for a 17 point game.  Mike said Ha!  Gurley also has a 17 point game! Sadly, that's about all that Mike had, as Josh also had Allen and Fournette waiting with double digit games.  Does anyone care that both Defenses shit the bed?

Yeah, didn't think so...

Ben (77.55) vs. Terri (57.25).  Well, Ben's TE was pretty much the super star here.  Well done, Ebron! And Terri....  Well Terri's got her ass kick more by BYE weeks than poor player performance.  She had 3 double digit performances, but 2 starters on BYE.  Shoulda Woulda Coulda... but didn't.  Ben - time for an interview?

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(I don't know, man.  It's getting late!)

Kyle (68.65) vs. Phil (66.10).  Man... Kyle EEEEKED this one one out.  By a skinny 2 point margin.  Lots of things to talk about here, but the big story is that Luck outscored Brady by 14 points ... because of reasons.  Also to note here, Kyle pulls in the YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR Award for pulling in a win when nobody chose him. (Which, of course, bumped me from first place.)

Crutch (65.21) vs. Skoot (63.68).  With an even SMALLER margin, Crutch pulls in a win this week against the 10th ranked Skoot.  Let's be honest here, we were all secretly rooting for Skoot to pull in another short handed win, weren't we? And he almost did it too!  If Saquon could just get back into beginning of season form, Skoot would have walked away with the win here.  

OK fellas, we're staring down week 11 and that means only one more week of BYEs.  Good luck.

DFL 2018 Week 9: Hey - Where'd everybody go?

Well, week 9 has come and gone and this week set the record for something....  The most teams with incomplete line ups.  Yeah, I'm going there this week.  It's gonna be a shame type week, fellas (and lady).

I knew that I'd be able to get this gif in here before the end of the season!

First off, Ben started a TE that was on BYE.  Granted, Ben has been known to take actions on some weird twisted principle before (see last year where he hung onto a dude on IR all year to protest the terrible policy of having 4 bench slots) and he is on the record as hating the devoted TE slot (not sure if you noticed), but this really bit him in the ass this week.

Sorry - this was the safest for work gif that I could find of "bite in the ass."
On completely related note, the internet is a weird place....

The top 17 tight ends this week would have pushed Ben to victory this week.  And I'm sure that he's going to post something about devoted TE being a BS position, but we all know that when he says that, it just means that he loves me.

Next up, Josh.  He had a full line up going into Monday night.  Just a defense to play and down by a scant 30 points.  I woke up on Tuesday to see that he had pulled his DEF and started nobody.  Why would he do this?  Dude figured a way to get a free pick up before the waivers kicked in.  Either he gets a few pidly points to narrow the gap a little or he finds himself  a player who hasn't played yet this week, and thus not be put into waivers. 

That's French for "Josh is a cheating bastard."

Well played, Josh... well played....

And Lastly, the King of non full starters, Skoot.  He hasn't started a full roster for 3 weeks. but then again he's won most of those games, so who the hell am I to question his strategy?  I guess that he really wanted to put his strategy to the test this week, because he had *3* starters on BYE this week and he still pulled out a win.

I mean... keep it up?   I guess?

But let's get down to it, shall we?

Elimination League.  3 players, 3 different picks.  Josh went with Chicago (and advanced to week 10), McClennen picked Carolina (and advanced to week 10), and Phil picked Dallas (and thus proved that you never EVER make a pick for Monday night - I mean Dallas was coming off a BYE, AT HOME, AGAINST THE TITANS.  FFS, how much more can the stars align?  They had like a 9 point spread!!)  So, well done McClennen and Josh for making it to week 10.  As for me....

Pick ems. This was....  it was not a banner week for us, y'all.

Terri topped the picks with 4-2.  Ben and Crutch kept each other honest at 3-3.  Phil and Josh stunk up the place at 2-4.  And Mike... well Mike tried his best at 1-5.  Kyle screwed all of the picks up with his upset, and Skoot wasn't too far behind with his THREE benched player.  Ugh....

That leaves the standings like this:
Phil:  38
Ben:  31
Crutch:  29
Mike:  28
Josh:  28
Terri:  27

So, the gaps is closing.  And if everyone could stop having upsets, I'd be just dandy...

Big week, big games.  Let's get to them!

Patrick (95.65) vs. Crutch (62.65).  This game was actually projected pretty close.  But then Patrick just ex-freaking-ploded. (I mean, like, not literally.)  McCaffrey, Kelce, and Whatever Defense Plays Buffalo all went mad this week.  Crutch tied to keep up with Hunt being Hunt and Fitzmagic both kicking some serious ass.  For you, Crutch, to ease the pain:

That's *FITZ*magic to you,sir!

Phil (89.20) vs. Josh (59.05).  On paper this seems like it should have been closer.  On my team, Landry, Ingram, an Houston didn't really live up to expectations.  But really when Conner and Kamara are on the field, does it really matter?  Josh responds that when Cousins and Moore shit the bed so bad, you just bench your D and make player moves.

Mike (77.33) vs. Ben (75.81).  So much to be happy about in this game!  Ben loses! (yay!)  Ben loses because of his own orneriness!  (Double yay!)  Mike wins, but he knows that Ben wasn't at full strength! (huzzah!)  I picked Mike to win! (what what????)  Mike is inching dangerously close to first place.  (Oh... Damn.)

Sad face indeed...

Kyle (71.42) vs. Stephen (67.55).  This was a really close game.  Both teams had a player in the 20+ range.  Both teams had 3+ players in double digits.  And both teams had middling players.  The difference?  Stephen started the Washington D, and they pulled in -4 points against Atlanta.  On paper, makes a lot of sense.  In application, it cost him the game.  Like I always say: "Defenses lose games."

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D (55.86) vs. Terri (55.17).   A bed wettingly close game, this one.

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Ok that might have been a little too much.  Anyways, whereas the previous game was decided by a bad defense, this was was decided by a bad QB.  That is to say D's QB Stafford who went -6 points.  I mean 10 sacks?  What the hell Detroit O line? So, had Stafford be just a liiiiitle bit worse, Terri might have been able to steal this game.

Skoot (54.76) vs. McClennnen (53.35).  OK seriously.  I've been staring at this game for like 5 minutes now.  Where the hell did this go off the rails?  McClennen was projected at almost double Skoot's points.  Yet somehow Skoot's starters (you know, the ones who actually played...) managed to eek a victory in here.  So, hail to the underdogs, I guess.

This game did not warrant a .gif.  So, you get nothing.
Static at that.

Alright.. that's about it for now.  Remember trade deadline is this week,if you're into that sort of thing.