DFL 2016 Week 12: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU......

....UUUUDGE

I actually said cock sucker motherfucker.  'Scuse my French...

Yeah, let's take a look at what happened in week 12:

1. Panthers lost after having a phenominal 3rd quarter.  (Fucking Carr....)
2. Eagles lost on national television.  (Don't even get me started)
3. I added a 3rd game to my losing streak.
4. It was FUCKING Crutch who beat me this week.  That would be the guy who hasn't even set his line up in 6 weeks!!!  DAMMIT!
5. And most anger-inducing of all:

ARGGG!!!!

Let's play a little game.... Let's see who everyone drafted in the first round of the draft, and how they are doing now:

Crutch:  Brown 142

Kookie: ODB 114

Missy: Rodgers 218

Terri:  Hopkins 70

Mike: Jones 108

Patrick: Johnson 190

Ben: Gurley 89 

Melanie:  Elliot 174

Phil: Gronk 52

McClennnen: Miller  100

Skoot: Bell  119

RA Dave: Newton  129

WTF, GRONK????  You were supposed to be my ace in the hole you jerkface.  Oh, but TEs don't score as much as other positions, I hear you say.   How are the other TEs doing??? I'll put it to you this way, Gronk, isn't top 5.  He's not top 10.  Shit, he's not even top 15.  ARRGG!!!!

Don't you even start, Ben.

So, yeah....  Not exactly a banner week for ol' Phil.  I could go on and on.... but I better not.

Yeah, this seems about right.

But let's get to the important stuff.  Starting, of course with the pick 'ems.  The G's did well this week, both going 4-2.  Me? Not so well (But really, who's surprised about that this week??) at 2-4.  So, now we're sitting at

Terri 41

Phil 39

Mike 37

RA Dave 33

What's that?  Did I forget to mention someone on their pick count for this week?  Well, RA Dave made all 6 picks, and all 6 of them were wrong.  Ouch.  Now, if Terri could just take a page from Dave's playbook, we'd all be sitting in butter.  So, it looks like pick 'ems is going down to the wire.  Rah!

OK let's do this.  And we'll start.. Well, shit, let's just get the pain out of the way first:

Crutch vs Phil.  Highest score of the week (the only one getting triple digits) versus the lowest score of the week.  So, yeah, a pretty freaking thorough beat down of the weak.  105.68 - 40.98.  But let's take a closer peek under the hood.  Gronk, who left in teh first FREAKING quarter wasn't the low scorer on my team this week.  Not, there were *TWO* players going negative.  Just so that I could get a peek into the mind of a winner, I texted Crutch to get his reaction.  His exact words were:

Wait... are we still doing that? Yeah, I don't think that I looked at that in weeks.

and

Wait... was that the first time that I broke into a triple digits score? Bwahahahahahahaha.

 And for the record.  Yes, yes it was.  The closest before that was back in week 2, with 85 points.  (Also, fun fact, this is the second time this year that I played Crutch AND the second time this year that I couldn't break 50 points.  ARRRG!!

Kinda how this week felt.  Oh and 3/4 people picked me to win this week.

Mike vs. Patrick.  And the next highest score of the week was Mike, who racked up an impressive almost 89 points.  Well, it would be impressive if between his QB and his TE, there weren't 7 freaking touch downs.  I mean, really, what did the rest of your team do?  Patrick pulled in 61 points, which would have been decent, had he not started the LA D.... who was playing against the TD machine Brees.  So, Mike keeps his stranglehold on 1st place.  I've got an awfuly bad feeling that this is what Mike is going to look like in about 5 weeks:

Ben vs. Melanie.  Ben pulled off this solid victory over Melanie 84-57.  Each had impressive QBs and an impressive RB performance.  It's just the this is all that Melanie had, meanwhile the rest of Ben's team fared pretty well.

Terri vs. Missy.  Well, Terri is keeping her season alive now....barely.  Though this as a pretty solid win over Missy.  (77-45).   The bad news is that pretty much all of her scoring cam from Big Ben and the KC D (and really, who thought that the KC D would hold up so well against Denver?).  The good news is that Missy didn't really have anyone except for Rodgers scoring,so it didn't really matter. And man.... Missy had 2 players playing on Monday night....  so her score was pretty low.  I am kinda bummed that Rodgers did so well... I mean, I'm a sucker for a low scoring team, as long as it isn't mine.

I Also have nothing to say about this game...

Skoot vs. RA Dave.  OK,gotta tell ya.  Was not expecting ANOTHER win from Skoot.  Especially not when going up against RA Dave.  But our (still) in 12th place team Skoot caused a BIG upset, adding another loss to the longest losing streak in the league.  Dave hasn't won a game in over a month and he needs to make some changes if he wants to make it to the post season.  Maybe dropping Cam will help.  Just lemme know when you're about to do that.

McClennen vs. Kookie.  Holy cow!  What a game to end on.  Sure, it wasn't the most impressive scoring game.  Neither starting D actually had positive points. and oddly, Kookie (who lost) was the only one who had anyone with double digit points, except for the QBs.  But here's the thing....  Kookie was dominating the league a few week ago.  But he's ona 3 game losing streak.  Yeah, he secured a playoff berth this week, but unless he can turn things around he's got MAJOR problems heading into the post season.  Well done, McCelnnnen (who is currently sitting in 3rd place - I mean, who saw THAT coming??)!

It's OK for me to take sides... my season is pretty much over.

Well, on the plus side, there is still a LOT of room in the playoff race.  Currently, only Mike and Kookie have secured space.  So, nobody can *really* give up quite yet.  Well, nobody except for Skoot, who's on a 2 game winning streak.  

And there was much rejoicing.

Next week.  Next week will be better, right?

DFL 2016 Week 11: So.. kickers.. yeah....

OK, so if you read my blogs, you know that I always say that kickers (and defenses) win games.  So, if you're like me, you're wondering why all of the place kickers looked like this, this week:

 A record high 12 missed PATs this week around the league.  Good gord, folks.  Come on now.  You're killing me!

Anyways, this has got to be a quick write up this week cuz Thanksgiving and all, so let's get to it!

Pick 'ems!  Let's just call it the week of ties this week.  Phil went 3-3. and Terri and Mike both went 2-4.  So, that means that Terri and Phil are tied for 1st at 37, which Mike and RA Dave are tied at 33.  Now, in RA Dave's defense, he did forget that there was a Thursday night game this week.  Since, like, that doesn't happen every week.  O wait.  Yeah, it does.  So, Dave, just as a  heads up there are multiple games this week on Thanksgiving.  And you probably don't have to go to work.  And you'll probably be eating turkey on Thursday.

So, a few things to note on this short write up week:

1. Beat down of the week goes to Skoot.  No, not for receiving it, but for delivering it.  Yeah,I know, it feels weird to type that.  Skoot score 77.88 points to Terri;s 31.13 points.  
2. Everyone on Terri's insanely under performing team had positive points.  I mean, some just *bare*hit the mark, but positive nonetheless.
3. Both teams at the top took losses this week.  Kookie lost by 30 points to Patrick, and Mike lost by 12 points to Missy.
4. That last one kinda bears repeating.  Mike, who was and is in 1st place, lost to Missy who is second to last place.  
5. And since we're talking about the lower echelon of the league, it's probably worth pointing out that while the top two teams lost this week, the bottom three teams won this week. That's right, Melanie was able to pull off a win against RA Dave this week.  And Melanie did this while spotting RA Dave 2 players.
6. The longest streak of the league current is RA Dave with 4 losses.
7. And perhaps the best smack of the league comes this week, straight from Ben's keyboard:

We're coming down the final stretch here, y'all.  Even with his loss this week, RA Dave secures the first playoff berth here.  3 weeks left and 7 playoff spots left.  IT's anyone game, y'all.  (Except Skoot's.  Probably it's out of Skoot's hands now.)

DFL 2016 Week 10: Are you freaking kidding me???

OK seriously, what in the hell happened this week?  It seem like the world got flipped, turned upside down....

No.. I think that it was crazier than that...

Yeah, that is much more like it.

So,let's get into it.  Remember how last week Dave, Terri, and I were all intensely battling for first place in Pick 'ems??  Well, Dave forgot to make ANY picks, I went 1-5, and somehow Terri pulled in 3-3.    But wait!  There's more!  Mike was the king this week with 4-2, which means that he's right back in it!  So, that leaves us like this:

Terri:  35
Phil:  34
Dave: 33
Mike:  31

Or to show this in picture form, this is kinda how we look coming down the stretch:

Ugly, ugly, ugly.  Exciting, sure.  But Ug-ly.

And if you get that reference, I take my hat off to you.

I'm not even going to beat around the bush.  We're going to get right into the games, the most important ones first:

McClennen vs Phil.  Mother-fucker.  That's all that I can say about this game.  With this win, McClennnen ends my 4 game winning streak and most importantly, keeps his razor thin advantage over me.  How thin?  Going into the game, I was 5-4, he was 4-5. Coming out of the game, we're both 5-5.  But he is ranked higher than me because his point total is a whopping 2.35 points higher than me.  What was the point difference in the game?  2.5 points.  DAMMIT.  Of course it's not like there was a controversial call that would have given me the game, should it have gone my way...

Yeah, that would be Gronk getting manhandled in the end zone.  Who's team is he on again?

This is what I've been reduced to, griping that the Pats aren't getting calls going their way...  What have I become??

Missy vs Kookie.  Wait... what?  Shouldn't this have been a blowout?  Why is this such an imporant game?  Well, it was pretty thorough beating, but not the way that you'd expect. Missy pulled in her 3rd win of the season, while Kookie took his second loss of the season.  What happened?  Well, Brady was shut down, Harris couldn't get things going against AZ, an Nick Folk...  Well, he missed his only scoring shot all day, which was a PAT.   Damn Kookie, when it rains it pours.  But, I think taht I speak for the rest of the league when I say:

'Specially Mike.  And speaking of Mike....

Mike vs Skoot.   Now, THIS was as bad of a beating as you'd expect with the #2 team going up against the ass last team.  Mike administered the beat down of the week because pretty much his whole team was firing on all cylinders.  As for Skoot... well, next yer will be better, right?

Just this season, man. New draft next year.  And just think of it!
You're going to be seeded awesome!

Patrick vs Crutch.  Well, despite Patirck's best efforts to sabotage himself, he pulled out a win here.  (I mean, really, Patrick?  Cutler?  What were you thinking?)  This means that Crutch's uncanny win streak is broken.  It was a pretty good run, but it's over now.  So, get back into the swing and start setting your line up, dude!

Unless you are playing me.  In which case you can piss right off...

Terri vs Melanie.  After this week, fully half the league has a 5-5-0 record.  With Terri's win over Melanie, she joins this illustrious group. See, three positions on Terri's team went wild (Big Ben, Santos, and KC D).  Meanwhile, only two on Melanie's team did (Bortles and Elliott).  And as insane s it sounds, even with Elliott scoring OVER 30, Melanie's other team members pissed their pants  JUST enough to cost her the game.   I'm pretty sure that this is the only team that I've seen this week to start Elliott and still lose.

Ben vs. Dave.  Not entirely sure what happened here, but I like it.  The game was predicted to go down to the wire, but Ben said "Fuck all that" and won with a comfortable 7 point margin.  Good for Ben, as it puts him in the 5-5-0 club, bad for Dave, as it put him within striking distance of the 5-5-0 club; Dave's record is currently 6-4.

I didn't really have an appropriate image for this game, and I've been sitting
on this gif for so long.  So...

Alrighty folks, we;re entering into the last month of the season.  Keep yourselves sharp and fight for those coveted 8 playoff spots.  Good luck! (Except to my competitors... and Im just seeing that my season ends playing first Kookie, then Mike.  Shit... that's definitely going to put a crimp in my playoff run.)

DFL 2016 Week 9: What's going on here???

I don't get this league sometimes.  I mean just look at this week....Kookie and Mike are the only ones to be in the centurian club.  They are on top of the league, followed by RA Dave and ME, for crying out loud.  Plus, Crutch, who hasn't touched his team since Forsett was still on the Ravens (like before he was cut and resigned) is on a three freaking game winning streak!

Anyways, I guess that I'm going to have make this a shorter one this week, what with America going crazy on the elections today.  (I'm kinda expecting a The Purge day next year the way that things are going....)  So, let's get into this.

First off elimination league.  O wait.  I forgot. I won that last week...

Moving on.

Pick 'ems. RA Dave and I both went 5-1 this week, keeping us tied in first place.   Sadly, Terri went 4-2, barely slipping out of first.  Suspiciously enough, Mike also make the same picks as his dear wife.  Hmmm.. Is there some collusion going on here?

I mean, maybe... but why?

So, that leaves us at:
RA Dave  32
Phil  32
Terri 31
Mike 27

And Skoot is sitting at 8, and Ben at 6.  So, like, I kinda think that they are out of it at this point.  And also, may I just say thanks to Ben for not being able to take McClennnen out this week?  Bastard cost me a perfect week!!

Quick run down on the actual league:

High Score:  Kookie (with 101 points!)
Low Score:  Skoot (with 32 points!)
Beat down of the week:  Kookie to Skoot (man it's nice when these things kinda work themselves out like this...
Biggest Surprise of the week:  Crutch picks up his THIRD victory in a row!!  (Crutch are you back?)
Closest game of the week: Terri beat RA Dave by 12 points.  Not exactly close, but what are you going to do?
Highest single player score:  Matt Freaking Ryan.  (I mean, are you kidding me?)
Longest streak?  5 game losing streak for Skoot.
Longest streak of someone still checked in?  Melanie's on a 4 game losing streak and Phil and Mike are on 4 game winning streaks.

So, things are heating up out there.  Only 5 more weeks until the playoffs, and only skoot has been pretty much eliminated from post-season play.  (OK, I guess that it would be a REALLY long shot for Missy at this point too, but possible.)  So keep up the strong playing and get those playoff berths!

(Oh, and as a side not, trade deadline is this week.  Of course, we've had 2 trades this year, which I think is some sort of record, so I won't push my luck.  :) )

That's about it for now.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go pray for a miracle McMullin win in Utah.

Just a test...

... this is a test to see how much traffic this (unadvertised) page gets, versus a page which is sent out to the league.

And just to be sure that I have *some* content.  Here's a creeper:

DFL 2016 Week 8: Now we get to see the waivers from the other side.

Another week, another win for the still recovering from perhaps the worst start in DFL history..  The come back has not been pretty, but at least it's there..

If SNL can get away with making Margot Robbie look like this, then maybe
there's hope for the kings yet...

It's with a heavy heart that I announce that this will be the last week of the elimination league.  Why is that?  Well, everyone has been eliminated... Everyone, that is, except for me.

Fucks right!  Two weeks ago, Marie didn't even have a strike. And now every single person left standing went out on a single upset.  That upset being that somehow Chicago beat Minnesota. Well, everyone except me, who happened to chose Tennessee over Jacksonville.

But it does go along with what I always say:  Stay away from rivalries and nationally televised games (like TNF and MNF) - weird things happen when teams get charged up.  I mean, just look at what happened in Happy Valley a few weeks ago when somehow Penn State got the Saturday night game against #2 ranked Ohio State.

I could literally watch this gif all damn day.

So, yes, I will take the crown for the elimination league this year.  One of many crowns this year, perhaps....

Pick 'ems.  Well, Mike got the highest number of picks right at 5-1 this week.  He is inching closer and closer to the first place charlie foxtrot, which is still sitting in a three way tie, as Terri, RA Dave and I all went 4-2 this week.  The odd thing is that EVERYONE got McClennen vs Patrick wrong.  But outside of that, nobody's strikes matched.  Well done, folks!  So, it leaves us with RA Dave, Teri, and I sitting at 28, and Mike at 23.  Mike's keeping it real:

I could see Mike throwing the Wu Tang Clan sign....

Now, the games, shall we?

Patrick vs. McClennen.  We're starting here because NOBODY picked this game.  I'm not entirely sure why that was.  Patrick, as always continues to be dominant.  And McClennen... I mean.. I guess that he was at .500 this week.  The predictions were so close... I still don't know why everyone felt the need to support McClennen this week.  Regardless, Patrick's boom and bust cycle of relying on the Raiders paid off this week.  So, well done, Patrick, you glorious bastard!

Crutch vs. Skoot.  OK skoot... WTF?  4 starters on BYE?  Come on, man.  This was going to be your Crutch BYE week.  You should have won! I mean, Crutch did spot you a BYE week player and TWO (count 'em - TWO!) players went negative.  (As a side note, Cruch pulls in the luckiest bastard of the week award this week, as he did the same thing in the other league that I'm in.  That is, win on someone's Crutch BYE week.)    Geez Louise, this game made me sad.

I mean, look at him, y'all!  You did this!

Terri vs. Ben.  Slightly more uplifting here. I mean, at least the little guy was able to claw herself up to 10th place.  And that's good, right?  Plus, it drug down Ben, which is always nice.

Kookie Bowl!  This was an interesting game, in that it was so well balanced.  Both QBs lit it up.  Both Defs shat the bed, the line by line comparison pretty much kept these teams neck and neck.  The big differentiator, which gave Kookie the game was that Alshon Jeffrey blew past Cameron Meredith on Monday night.  So, Kookie holds on to his 1st place position for another week.

Mike vs. RA Dave.  This was probably the most interesting game this week.  #2 (Mike) going up against #3 (RA Dave).  If Dave wins, he moves up.  Otherwise, the rankings stay the same.  Sadly, the rankings stayed the same as Mike delivered the beat down of the week on RA Dave. Ironically, RA Dave did actually hit line up Nirvana.  So, silver linings and all that.

Phil vs. Missy.  As much as my players fought me for the win, we did actually pull it off.  Wilson never saw the endzone and freaking Ty Montgomery, who ws supposed to be this great sleeper pick from the waiver wire didn't play because of his kidneys.  The bum!  Anyways, outside of Rodgers, which kicked all sorts of ass, Missy's team just kinda rolled up and died.

That's about it for this week.  Keep up the work guys!  And if you're not working, then start, dammit!  We're getting closer and closer to the end of the season and the play off race is starting to heat up!