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| Skinny Pete, just finishing his doctoral dissertation on racial stereotypes and speech patterns, is not happy about the previous comment. |
Eesh... get off the Breaking Bad... OK OK, notes taken.
Anyways, big week this week in terms of games. D&D party members playing, G vs G, and two unwinning teams go head to head. Man, if there ever was a week to do a preview, this was the week. But we don't do those sorts of backdoor shenanigans. You know why? Cuz I'm lazy, and that's just how it is....
Elimination League! Man, strikes were handed out like candy this week! There were 8 people still standing going into this week, and 5 of them got strikes. RA Dave and Melanie both took strikes by not making a pick, thus ending their season. Then, The Bengals figured out a way to lose in Clevland, but I'm mostly giving the Kookies credit for that. (Congrats, btw.) That handed a strike to both Joy and Marie (the ladies who left us for greener leagues this year), leaving them with one strike a piece. Finally, the beatifully named Wimbledicks, headed by our own Skoot took a strike by putting his trust in Flacco. So, that means that Ben is the only one left flawless. Sadly, I think that this means that pretty much everyone in the league *is* thinking about this too much except for Ben. Trust your instincts, fellas. Put the targeting computer away.
Moving on to Pick'em. It's at the point in the season that I can start to feel a little comfortable with the pick'ems. Well, usually....Even though I am still the top place in pick 'em, it's a hella tight race. Crutch and Patrick are tied for second... Wait.. What the hell??? Patrick is actually participating this year??? And he's got the highest pick percentage for anyone who picked more than 1 (I'm looking at you, Missy - and using your only pick all season to have Skoot win... AND against yourself nonetheless. Hmmm... maybe this was collusion?)... what is happening? Maybe the pick'ems are going to be just as tight as they were last year. The big take away this week is that Patrick and Crutch both went 5-1 (by picking against me - for shame!), Ben peed his pants by going 1-5, and everyone correctly picked Skoot to win in his game. Still time to get in and start swinging if you haven't started yet!
And now, for the big game of the week. The G Bowl (though listening to the salty smack talk coming from these two sailors, one may well have taken the gutter and named this game something else that started with G...): Mike G versus Terri G. Tuco, how would you describe this game?
The final score came down to less than 3 points. Mike G has a solid performance from everyone on his team (except for Moss - he was shut out).Terri, on the other hand had hills and valleys. Manning, and Ten DEF put up crazy number. Vinatieri and Thompkims both exceeded expectations. Everyone else pretty much crapped their pants for 60 minutes.
So, the IkeTurner award goes to you, Mike for beating your wife. Terri - you get the Tina Turner award for taking the beating, even though you are vastly better than your hubby. In all things.
Next up, Beat down of the week goes to Skoot for delivering an almost 70 point walloping to Missy this week.
Skoot pulls in the "aaaahhhh... wire" necklace for his team being so electric. And if you get that reference, then I am assuming that you're enjoying the accompanying pictures in the write up this week as well.
Missy - Congratulations. We get it. You like Green Bay. You get the discount double check stupid ass hip thrust thing that Rodgers does. On the plus side, upcoming BYE weeks won't be too bad...
McClennen continues the downward slide.... For giving it his all, he get the "EVERYONE!!!" award, sponsored by Gary Oldman from the Professional. McClennen didn't leave a single point on the bench this week (which I don't think that I've seen before). Cheers.
Melanie is just this close to line up Nirvana and did it while picking up her life and moving to a new state. Good on ya, Melanie. You get the "Why can't Kookie be more like you?" pennant.
And speaking of Kookie... He and RA Dave went head to head this week. So, *someone* had to win. I couldn't get a sponsor for this game, so let's just describe it thusly:
Yeah, I'm happy with that description of how ya'll played. (The highest scoring player in the game was KC DEF. Eeesh.)
RA Dave - you get the match ups win games! award for pulling Kookie this week. 3rd lowest score,but you did play the worst score of the week, so you got the W. Yay!
Kookie, Kookie, Kookie. I can't give you too hard of a time this week. New house, new town, new job, home repairs, etc. So, in full disclosure, I tried to help with his line up (with Kookie's permission of course). Even with my brilliant coordination, he only pulled in 59 points. Wow. I have no award for your team this week, but I do have this:
Crutch had a bold move of starting Phil Rivers this week. Every time that someone puts faith in Rivers, he seems to drop the ball. And I'm not talking about it metaphorically. So, You get the "Enjoy it while you can, Farva, cuz it ain't gonna last" medallion.
Ben, who went up against Crutch this week gets the "Who needs a QB anyways? I started my *good* one this week and only pulled in 0.11 points." award. (Yeah, I know, that one got *really* specific. I had to give it out when I got the opportunity.) I feel for you, Ben. You really should have won the game, but somehow a 37 year old Tight End pulled in the second highest number of points in the game.
Phil gets the "You Hypocritical Piece of Shit" plunger for picking up Tony FUCKING Romo this week to fill in for Rodger's BYE week.But come on! He was going up against the Chargers AND he was like the #5 ranked QB overall. How could I ignore that on the waiver wire??
Last and certainly not least is Patrick. He barely lost to me this week....Pretty much did everything right. Except for still relying on his Italian Stallion. (And really, dude... Giovani Bernard is about as Italian as Donovan McNabb is Irish.) Give Giovani a few weeks, he'll be back to form. But last week's bullshit really wore him out.
Wait... Donovan McNabb isn't Irish? He must be Scots then.
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