Will Browns jokes ever get old? I think not!
All levity aside, we're here to talk about football! (And pseudo-football (and picking pseudo-football (and picking real football (man, I hope that a LISP interpreter isn't reading this right now (or else it might get confused (what with the level of ( ) that I'm using (and hoping to close properly). Was that it?) (Yeah, probably.))))) So, let's get into it.
Another fairly low scoring week this week. Only two people hitting 90 points this week. And of them only one (and the more girly one at that) saw into triple digits. (That would be Patrick and Skoot, with the latter getting over 100.) But luckily,we had a game of the week to look forward to. And that was a slugfest! In that it felt like the victor was just brutally beating on the loser without any trace of remorse. But more on that later.
Elimination league... Another 3 different teams picked and another week without any strikes given out.... Interesting. I think that the latest that we've ever gotten with the elimination was week 10. That's coming up hella-soon. (As a side note, I should really start to label special posts. Like "Last Elimination Week" or "Lowest Score"... It'll make things easier to find in the future.) Though it should be noted that Marie deserves an honorary strike here because she *thought* that she picked New England. And with the ridiculous ending to *that* game, it wuld have been awesome had someone been eliminated there. I guess that I'll take a false positive. So, all y'all keep with the picking. Because if this ends in a tie, I think that everyone's going to be sad...
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| Don't make blobfish sad. Only one winner in the elimination league |
Think that I'm hyperbolizing? Nah, son. The highest pick here were the Gs who both went 3-3. That was the best that we had gentlemen. Skoot and Phil pulled in 2-4. And Crutch and Ben led the way with 1-5. Coincidentally, Crutch and Ben are sitting top of the stack. Mike G jumped up to third place and Terri G clawed her way into a 5th place tie with Skoot. Yes, I did hope that y'all sucked in your picks. But man! This was embarrassing! So, I hope that you call all do this again next week, which will give me an opening to sneak back into medal contention.
Finally, we head into the league proper. Before we get into the games, let's just pause a moment a look at where things are, about halfway into the season. First off, nobody has given up. And, looking at some of the teams, that would be hella-easy to do at this point. (*cough* Kookie *cough*) But, looking where we are, it's actually a fairly tight season. Nobody is undefeated. Going strictly by record, there is a three way tie for first place and a *four* way tie for fourth place. Oh, and there is only a one game difference in the two of these position. What else? Well, of the four top teams, *three* of them didn't even make the play offs last year. So, big things a'happenin'!
We'll start off with the GAME OF THE WEEK: Kookie versus Missy. I think that it was fair to say that we all had high hopes going into this game. Kookie could break his 6 game losing streak. Missy could be handed a nasty loss. It's win win! Nobody would be sad about this. Except that Missy won. OK, technically she did precisely what she was slated for. Kookie lost. And Manning came *this* close to hitting double digits. Against a team that still hasn't pulled in a victory
Missy is presented with the precision award for conitnuing her pattern of Winning one week and losing the next.
Kookie gets the Anakin Skywalker memorial award for doing his best, and failing spectacularly. YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID THAT YOU'D DESTROY THE SITH (that is, get one measly win), NOT JOIN THEM (that is, get beaten like a hooker in any Grand Theft Auto Game). Next week, man. Next week....
Next we turn to Terri versus McClennnen. Terri administered the beatdown of the week by raking up a 55+ point win against McClennen.
Terri pulls in the "Heck Yeah! Denver finally lost and KC is still undefeated" pennant. Yeah, that's right, ladies and gentlemen. Manning the Greater might have to play until the end of the season. True, Terri is happy. But you know who is happier? Andy "I'll turn on my mad skills once I leave Philly" Reid (head coach of the Chiefs:
McClennen on the other hand, takes home the Pain... All Pain trophy this week. If I can remind you all, he had the last team that was undefeated a scant month ago. Now, he continues the downward slide. Dare I say, he was derailed? And I don't get it either. I mean he's got a solid line up.Brady, Marshall, Witten, Nelson, Walsh? Not a single one of them broke 6 points.
Tightest game of the week this week is Patrick Versus Ben. 3 points. That's as close as this one came.
Ben pulls in the ROMO!!!!! groan of frustration for Romo being Romo. Fairly solid performance from his team, except for Jerkface McGee there....
Patrick gets the Evil Monkey Bobblehead this week. Why is that? Well, his QB lit up the field by connecting with a dude who takes his nickname from the third evilest villian in all of literature (First being Iago from Othello, Second being Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs, third being Megatron from Transformers, and fourth being Swiper from Dora The Explorer) and secondly, Patrick lit up the scoreboard by starting the Dallas Defense against the Eagles. For shame, Patrick. For Shame....
Ever wonder to yourself "How much purple could we possibly get in a DFL game?" Well, wonder no more... RA Dave vs Melanie solved that right quick.
RA Dave gets the Jimmy JJ Walker from The Guvyer Live Action Movie key chain for "Just doin' his job." Came close to his projection, no ridiculousity on points one way or the other.
Melanie gets the When You Wish Upon a Star, It Make No Difference Who You Are (except if you're Melanie. In which case screw you) Award. Going into Monday night's game, Each team had 1 player left. The score was within 5 points. RA Dave was play some third string no name WR. Melanie had Adrien FREAKING Peterson. Shouldn't be a problem.... Yeah, noname scored more points and lost the game for Melanie. Arrg!!!
The clash of the titans this week was Crutch vs. Skoot. Both coming in with a 4-2 record. Second place versus third. Both hungry to climb to first place.
Crutch takes home the Hugh Jackman's TWO SIDES! award. Half his team performed admirably. Exceeding expectations, double digiting. The other half... well, it was nice when anyone broke the 3 point barrier.
Skoot, on the other hand, pulls in the "Luckiest Sum Bitch Alive" rabbit's foot for having Drew "Prints My Own Points" Brees on bye this week and picking up Andy "Look My Hair Matches My Uniform" Dalton to fill his stead. And what happens? Dalton has a banner day, racking up over 25 points. Man.... This is why nobody likes you, Skoot.
And finally, in the upset of the week, Mike G takes down your humble narrator and commissioner. It's the upset of the week in that it upset me greatly and I'm still pissed about it. I can't be too too surprised about it though. I actually did my calculations on the game and picked Mike to win. Then I said "Nah.... look at that spread. I'm invincible!" Pride cometh before the fall and all, I reckon.
Mike G pulls in the "Poke the bear" medallion for talking smack after the game. Then, promising a beat down by his wife the next week. I'm so sorry about the beating I'm going to have to administer next week, Terri. Just remember, I would prefer to beat your husband, but he put you up as a shield....
Phil will quietly take home the I should have used Windex award for starting the streakiest players in the game. Davis, Garcon, and Jackson.... I mean, Come on!!!!
(Yeah, I could have gone with Dexy's Midnight Runners for that link, but we don't have anyone names Eileen in this league...)
so when the video comes to the end and youtube has suggested videos, why is there ia picture of a penis in the lower left corner. Just sayin ' :)
ReplyDeleteLeave it to Skoot to find the penis...
Delete(Dibs on that as a band name.)
I don't get that about Anakin Skywalker. He was supposed to "bring balance to the Force" but there were far fewer Sith than Jedi, so isn't it common sense that he'd go Dark Side? Why was anyone surprised by this?
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