DFL 2013 Week 8: Time to burn this mofo down...

... and by mofo, I mean me.  Why?  Two back to back losses.  To Two back to back Gs.  Ripping me firmly out of first place and banishing me to a tawdry third.  Hey jerkfaces!  Remember when I said in my write up a few weeks ago that you should collude on something that mattered?  I sure as balls didn't mean to gang up on me and beat me like the soap scene in full metal jacket.

But Phil, I hear you say... It's just a game... surely beating you on the field doesn't warrant this much vitriol.  To you, I say "Have you not been reading my posts?  I am still carrying a grudge against someone who beat me fair and square 4 freaking years ago due to a missed field goal."  Plus, it wasn't just that I lost.  I lost when I should have won.  Twice. I was estimated at 15+ points higher both last week (against Mike) and this week (against Terri).  "But no problem," I said going into the game on Monday night.  "I'm up two points.  And I have Marshawn Lynch and Terri only has Golden Tate.  This one is in the bag."  Well, Tate took home 18 points (estimated at 6) and Lynch took home 2.  Two freaking points.

Then, as if all that wasn't enough, the Gs kept colluding to give perhaps the most beautiful and ill-begotten bragging to date in the league.   In the form of E-Cards.  From Mike:

And from Terri:

To you and your Redskin kin, I say:

and again:

As promised, I am calling shenanigans.  I'm calling it just as hard as I possibly can at this point. Shenanigans!  SHENANIGANS!  SHENANIGANS!!!

So,yeah... that's how the game of the week went.  Arrggg!!!

OK enough with the intro.  Let's into the real stuff.  Pick'ems to start!

Much better picking this week.  Skoot was this [ ] close to a bingo this week.  (Of course, Terri took that away from him.)  So, he went 5-1.  Mike G and I went 4-2, Crutch was dead even at 3-3.  Ben and Terri pissed their pants with 2-4.  On the other hand, RA Dave did outstanding at 2-4.  So, that leaves Crutch at the top of the heap, just two points above Ben and Mike G.  Skoot tied Phil at 4th place, followed by Terri and then Patrick.  RA Dave is threatening to get into double digit points here.  Right on, Chum!!

Elimination League... No real movement here.  Joy and Ben both chose San Fran, and Marie chose New Orleans.  No strikes this week!  (Man, are we going to see three people get into the double digit weeks?  It's turning out good!  Why couldn't I still be swinging in the ring here?  Oh right.  Cuz I put my faith in Philly and Atlanta.)

OK, down to the meat and potatoes...

The game of the week!  You know what? I think that we covered this pretty well already...Terri gave Phil a whoopin' against all odds.

Terri - you get the "You talkin' to me?  You talkin' to ME?" wrist holster for going buck wild and doing your ridiculous thing against all odds.

Phil gets the"Here it comes" award.  You know why?  After this week, I'm going super-saiyan:

Be forewarned....

Crutch pulls in the "You're a good man, charlie brown."  Even though Lucy still pulled the ball away before Crutch could kick it, at least he beat Mike G.

Mike G - Really?  You pull at 40 pints week this week?  After the throttling you handed out last week?  You get hash tag hell.  #ihateyousomuch #forrealsies #gosuckalemon

Skoot delivered the beat down of the week to RA Dave.  Damn, dude...  Even with three players not hitting 5 points, he still scored highest in the league this week.  (By a scant 0.01 points.  Maybe this partial points thing is cool after all.)  And with the win, he throws me out of first place as delicately as the Archangel Micheal (Michal) threw Lucifer out of heaven.  So, you get the Righteous Smite broadsword.

RA Dave takes the whoopin' like a man.  Not only did two of his starters goose eggs on him, but he also hit line up Nirvana.  There's not much more that I can say about that.  To console you in your time of pain, I award you the cutest little mascot ever:

Ben and Melanie played the most exciting game of the week, in that it was close and a hell of a lot of points were thrown down.

Ben gets the "It ain't easy being Ben" award for continuing on his head scratching journey through points this year.  He's scored the third most points and is in 10th place.  That shit is uncanny!

Melanie gets the "Balls, Pure Balls" pendant for starting Jared Cook over Jimmy Graham.  That would be the St Louis TE over the NO TE.  I mean, yeah, it worked out for her, but wow.  Balls.

Patrick takes home a win this week, delivered on a silver plate by Kookie.  So, you get a BYE win, essentially.

Kookie.  Dude.  You have more moves on your team than most of the league. How is your team still this shitty?  And I know, I know, you've moved.  But so did Melanie.  And she's rocking it this year.  Why can you be more like your wife?  Yeah, I went there.  And I'm not sorry.  (OK, maybe a little sorry...)

Wowie!  I'm just now seeing the Missy vs McClennen game.   This is also known as the sad, sorry little game.  4 starters goose egg'ed, neither QB saw above 5 points.. Just ewww all the way around...

Missy - you get the "Right on... that's the way to play!" trophy because I want you to keep up this style of play.  I'm playing you next week *waaaaay* short handed.  I've been wanting to beat you all  year, so if this is what you're putting up these days, I'd say that I've got a shot.

McClennen get the "Best Little Team Without a Move" award.  He's steering his ship without a single move this year.  O wait.... hold on.... OK, yeah. I just called him.  I never actually explained that you can change up your team.  So, that's on me, hoss.  Sorry about that!

Man, this write up had a lot of rage in it.  Let's end it on a happy note, shall we?  At the Manning household: