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| Cuz using Rob Ford as the first gif of the year isn't a bad omen, right? |
Anyways, on to business. So, remember a few weeks back, I said that if you want to win something, then the elimination league is where you need to be? Well, never you mind that now, because brother, that league is packed! In addition to 10 of the 12 coached from the DFL, we've also got a few returning alumni, namely Marie and RA Dave. I had intended to skinny things down a little bit this year, so when I renewed the league, I intentionally didn't hit any buttons to send out invitations. Well, I guess that it does so anyways. One last evil, stupid Easter Egg that Melissa left on her way out...
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| I was intending to have a picture of evil Melissa laughing, but this is the worst picture that I could find of her. Say what you will about her management style, the woman is simply photogenic! |
But we'e not here to talk about the elimination league, are we? I mean, we're not even here at all. This is just me rambling in my underpants sitting sadly in front of my computer.
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| You sick bastards. Did you really want me to have an undies pic? (PM for details...) |
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| I'm gonna guess that only about half of you will get this reference. Skoot, 'splain please. Cuz I know that you know.... |
- Kerry *
- Skoot **
- Kyle
- Terri
- *
- Josh
- McClennen *
- Crutch*
- Phil
- Mike
- Ben
- Patrick
* Denotes autodraft, for adult reasons.
** Denotes autodraft because they are a child and forgot all about the draft, even with like 5 reminders.
And here's how Yahoo! rated the draft results:
- Kyle : A
- Skoot: A
- Kerry: A
- Phil: A-
- Patrick: B
- Crutch: B
- Josh: B-
- Ben: B-
- B-
- Terri: B-
- McClennen: C
- Mike: C
Now, I used to think that Yahoo! would just give high rankings to people to teams that draft who lined up with what Yahoo! recommended. But here we see that one person who autodrafted was ranked 3 with an A (Kerry) and another who was ranked second to last with a C (McClennen) and they both autodrafted. (And let me just say, Yahoo!, that must have been a wonderful morning in the McClennen household when the newbie is ranked way high and the seasoned veteran is down in Mike territory.) So, now I have no idea where they get these rankings from. So, to the rankings, I have one thing to say:
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| Though maybe I shouldn't be so harsh. I mean, I *was* ranked in the upper echelon. |
The big highlight of the draft for those of you who weren't there is that Ben picked himself up a whopping 3 QBs, one of which is questionably good (please, God!!!) and two are horrible. Sadly, we weren't able to convince him to also add Cutler to round out this terrible, terrible situation that he finds himself in. I even said "Hey, you can always drop someone tomorrow!" in the last round, but he was unconvinced. Ironically, he was the first to make a move a scant 20 minutes after he draft was over. So, right on, sir!
And now we come to perhaps my favorite part of the year... A part where I get to weigh in on something and I sound completely authoritative because I get to throw my opinion around like an olympic athlete.
Without further ado, here's the power rankings for best team names this year. OK, maybe a little more ado. Holy shit, you guys made this hard this year. Everyone had a good name. Hands down, best name year that we've ever had in the league. So, well done! OK... un-ado now.
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| "UnShun" rolls better off the tongue, but un-ado works too.. |
12) Skittlerific. Yeah,I get it. Beast Mode is back. So, I guess, it's good. But you teased me with the name change and left me unfufilled. For shame, for shame....
11) No Sack. Points for the football reference, but you didn't really do much with it. I'm not sure whether this is a double entendre or just a prayer that your QB doesn't get roughed up....
10) DefenceIsOverrated. That's bullshit, and you're evil for even thinking it. Defenses win games. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. No points if you were trying to be ironic.
9) TouchdownForWhat. I think that you were really close to getting a laugh on this one. The only problem is that someone else already made a touch down pun team name, and they did it better (IAlwaysTouchdownThere). So, you got scooped, son.
8) IWILLWINEventually. A little on the nose, and a lot desperate. But I've gotta hand it to you for just sheer determinism. Good luck, sir. Though this year might not be your year. (Mostly because I'm still in the league...)
7) Hi Billy Mays Here. Well, you certainly win for the non sequitur this year. Probably wouldn't have gotten this high rating, should you had not also changed your profile pic and DEFINITELY wouldn't have gotten this high if I didn't have a man crush on Billy Mays. Well played, sir. Well played indeed!
6) Comin' Up Philhouse!. Dammit. I really thought that punning my name in the team name would have landed me higher than this, but I got out done this year. Eh, top half isn't bad, I reckon.
5) Mr McGiblets. The League. God, how I miss thee! Well, everything except the last season. But overall... Also bonus for the profile pic change.
4) TERRIing Up The Field. A name pun, with the bonus of being relevant to football. Now, THIS Is how it's done, folks!
3) Big-D. Way to work a dick joke in there. And with the added irony of drafting not one but two middling Ds? Well, sir, I like your style!
2) Amari 2600. Dude, I don't know if you look up punny team names every year or if you just come up with them in the off season, but goddamn! Every year you get to the top of the list with your team name AND the accompanying profile pic. Sadly, this year, you've been dethroned by:
1) Brady Gaga. Pun? Check. Football related? Check. Photoshopped Profile Pic? Double check.
And that's it! Let's all tune in on Thursday to watch... o god damn it. We have to start the season with the chiefs getting slaughtered by the freaking patriots? Come on! I mean, I know that TNF is shit, but do we really have to start THIS shit?
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| On one hand, football. On the other... the pats... |
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