DFL 2018: Locked and loaded (and only a week late)!

OK people... Week 1 is officially in the books, but don't hold that against me.  We had our draft less than 24 hours before the season kicked off.  It's on all y'alls busy schedules.  I'm just saying....

I was going to add the Game of Thrones shaming, but giphy and blogger don't mix well.

So, now I'm backed up a bit. I've got the post draft write up and the Week 1 write up (I mean, did you see the games, I totally can't let this week slide!  Stay tuned!!!) done ASAP.  Oh, and there's apparently a Category 5 Hurricane barring down on us which will rob us of our bread, milk, water, gasoline, and humanity if the stock of the stores is anything to go by.

Tell 'em Ollie!

So, this'll be a shorter than usual blog.  Well, it's probably going to be. I usually get started and then kinda meander around until I fall asleep at my keyboard.

Yeah, that's kinda my writing style.  I mean we're already 3 images in and still not even hardly
a mention of the DFL.

OK enough dicking around, let's get down to business!

Here was the draft order this year, for posterity's sake:

1. Skoot  (WE ARE Sayquads!)
2. Mike (MrSmithGoesToDC)
3. McClennnen (Autodraft)
4. Terri (I Ran-FlaccoSeagulls)
5. Patrick (Hooken on a Thielen)
6. Phil (Philly Philly!)
7. Stephen (Fournette Me Now)
8. Kyle (Cosby's Sleepers)
9. Ben (RegressionToTheMean)
10. Josh (1 Gurley 1 Kupp)
11. Crutch (The Final Touchdown)
12. D. (Dracula's BloodBitch, which I choose to read as "Dracula's Blood, BITCH!" as if Jesse Pinkman was saying the team name.)

And just for fun, here's how the first three rounds went:

I'm betting at the end of the season, there will be a few people looking back and thinking "Why?  WHY did I use my early picks on this trash????"*cough* *cough*  D with Hopkins *cough* *cough*)

And for what it's worth, here's what Yahoo! thought of our picks:

As a side note, for those of you that don't know, we actually did a pretty thorough deep dive on on how much these grades are actually worth and we determined (down to 2 decimal place accuracy) that Yahoo!'s grades are worth exactly Jack and Shit.

Side note, putting Skoot down at second to last place AND predicting that Ben won't win a single game all year *does* seem pretty much spot on.  But then they had to put Crutch up top and everything just goes to stupid.  So, there you go.

And as a super bonus, this year we had 0 auto drafts.  Yay!

Now, nobody to blame but yourselves....

And now what none of you have been waiting for.  My personal rankings of team names this year.

12) Dracula's BloodBitch (D).  I'm not sure if this is a reference to something or what.  Even with Jesse's voice in my head, this just doesn't make the cut.

11) FUAutodraft (McClennen).  The sentiment rings true.  McClennen has autodrafted the last few years, and it has not gone well for him.  Frustration aside, there were just too many good puns this year for this to get any higher than 11.

10) I Ran-FlaccoSeagulls (Terri).  I get that Flock Of Seagulls sang a song called "I Ran", but the song title and the band just just kinda got smushed together, leaving me a little empty.

9)  WE ARE Sayquads (Skoot).  OK, We Are ... Penn State and Barkely has fucking massive quads... but eh....  The name definitely got some extra love because Skoot is so in love with Saquon.

The original Twitter caption was "It looks like Saquon
could drive a bowling ball 300 yards."

8) RegressionToTheMean (Ben).  I actually like the nerdy side of this name.  Plus, it's self deprecating to boot!  Sadly, it looks like we were going more punny this year or you would have ranked higher.

7) The Final Touchdown (Crutch).  Simple. Punny.  Say no more.

6) Cosby's Sleepers (Kyle).  Yeah, this was a risk.  Cosby is hella toxic these days.  But what can I say?  A great football pun is a great football pun.

5) MrSmithGoesToDC (Mike).  It's a call back to an old school movie and mirrors what happened in the NFL during the off season.  Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!
4) Philly Philly! (Phil).  I'll let Ben evaluate this one for me:  "are you philly philly?.  of course you are.  i was like 'that's not a very creative team name......unless it's phil.  goddamnit. [sic] '"
3) Hooked on a Theilen (Patrick).  Bonus points to Patrick for like 3 great team names before settling on this one.  The other one that stuck out was "Mariota Kart."  Not sure which one I like better, but this one is certainly more relevant this year.
2) 1 Gurley 1 Kupp (Josh).  Well, Kyle started the gross names, and Josh drove it right the fuck home.  I'm just sad that he didn't get both of these players.  Also:  Bonus points for NOT including an icon this year...
1) Fournette Me Now (Stephen).  Slow clap....  This is an amazing name.  And Stephen got an icon of GOB to really drive it home.  *That* is how you make a big splash your first year in the league.  Well done, sir!!!



That's about it for now.  Well done, y'all.  See you on the virtual gridiron!