DFL 2018 Week 2: OK Seriously, WTF?

So, I don't know if you noticed, but the NFL is on some pretty serious insanity meds right about now.

OK, so two weeks in, we've got TWO NFL ties.  There were three more games that came down to the final play.  Two no name quarterbacks came out of nowhere to kick the shit out of their opponents. AGAIN.  One of them did the post game interview like this:

Two kickers were cut this week.  Somehow Boswell is on the short list for going next.  And, and, and.....

Oh, that's right, a player actually retired. At halftime.

Pictured above:  The Buffalo Bills both before and after Vontae Davis retired.
Joke, courtesy Josh.

So, needless to say, I haven't a fucking clue about what is going on in the NFL this week.  And neither do you.  That kinda explains the shake up at the top of the league. But, hey, at least the Browns haven't won yet.

And since we're talking crazy - this dude went to the Pats this week. Maybe Belichick
will get lucky and this will be his first year in 5 years to play more than 5 games...

Anyways, let's get to it.

Elimination league:  Three strikes doled out this week. Crutch takes a strike by picking Washington over Indy.  McClennen took a strike for picking New England over Jacksonville.  (Both kinda ballsy, I like it!)  And Kyle might be the smartest one out there by choosing not to choose. 

Everyone else went CRAZY conservative and took the Rams (with a 34 point shut out), The Chargers (who were playing the aforementioned dumpster fire), and Mike was the lone man out picking New Orleans over the Browns... which almost ended in a tie.  So, well done, everyone!  That leaves Josh as the only one without a strike .  He's the one to beat, gentlemen.

When a Problem Comes along... You must Pick 'Em!

Can we pause for a minute to really appreciate how weird both this video and song are?

OK, when the NFL goes crazy, the pick'ems do too.  Same 6 players choosing this week, as last.  Josh and Terri going 2-4.  Phil, Ben, Mike, and Crutch going 3-3.  At this point, we might as well just be throwing darts.  The standings:

Phil: 9-3

Ben:  7-5

Josh: 6-6

Mike:  5-7

Terri:  5-7

Crutch:  5-7

Still anyone's game if anyone else wants to jump in on this.  I guess?

Only two teams breaking into the centurian club this week. And the good news is that they didn't play each other!  The bad news is...  Well, their opponents were left feeling the pain.  So, let's dig in:

Patrick (111.35) vs Kyle (64.52).  Beat. Down. Of. The. Weak.  Patrick's team just rose up as a collective this week. Lowest scoring player on his team was his DEF, with 8.6 point.  Then, Cooper, with 9.6. Everyone else was solidly double digits, and some pushing 20 points.  And, and, and... he didn't even hit line up Nirvana.  Kyle, on the other hand....  well, he tried.  But the good news for Kyle is that next week Wentz is activated.  So, all good news for him!

Pictured here: Patrick this weekend.

Josh (102.33) vs Skoot (77.05).  Man, Skoot did right on paper here.  Ryan was flirting with 30 points, Hogan somehow saw double digits.  And even when the rest of the G-Men were being savaged by the Cowboys, Saquon still found a way to hit double digits.  Sadly, it did't really matter as Josh had three player who alone almost beat him.  Damn, Josh, settle down, man.  It's going to be a long season...

Josh, this week, having captured first place.

McClennen (71.4) vs Ben (45.16).  McClennen digs in and gets his first win.  Or should I say he THIELENS in and gets his first win.  Because he rode Thielen so hard on his way to victory.  And Theilen's teammate is Stefon Diggs. 

Anyways...  For everything good that McClennen did, fate was there to smack Ben down for doing the right thing. Wilson went belly up, Jones hardly took the field, Mixon somehow didn't get in on the 34 points that his team scored, and the Baltimore D just rolled over and died.  So, yeah, Ben was projected to win by 12 points and lost by over 25.  Yay accurate projections!

Phil (69.23) vs Terri (68.47).  Closest game of the week and a nail biter down to Monday night.  I mean, just look at this:

I was up by like 8 points going into Monday night, and Terri just had her TE left to play.  But what do they ever do, right?  Well, he scored a TD in the first quarter and made me sweat the whole game.  But the luckier one prevailed, and I eeked out a victory here.

Me, the entirety of MNF.

Mike (62.03) vs Stephen (41.32).  Yeah, pretty much nobody hit their projections this year.  Well, except for Gurley.  Cuz, you know, Gurley.  Even though Stephen left some points on the bench,it wouldn't have been enough to overcome the points that Mike threw down, humble as they were...

Good on ya, Mike....

Crutch (61.08) vs D (52.57).  This was... this was not great.  Nobody on either team topped 15 points.  Well, none of the starters at least...  Terrible week to sit Fitzpartrick, Crutch. Further complicating thing, D's kicker pulled his groin during warm ups, and was pulled from the game at the very last minute.  And that one's gonna last a few weeks.  This game... it's just... not great  

One last thing before I sign off here... I've been watching Defenses... I know that we wanted to correct, but man.  It's painful.  I'm thinking that we were a little too far this year.  So, top of the survey next year (after the TE war continues, of course), is to bump the DEFs back up again.

Also, shout out to Mike... So far, he has actually played TWO Tight Ends each game.  That's.. that's commitment to the cause man.