DFL 2015 Week 3: Things is getting cray-cray.

Now, I know what you're all thinking.  Things in the NFL are a little dicey right now.  Franchise players are getting hurt left and right (Rothlisberger, Brees, Cutler), the Bengals and the Panthers are both 3-0, and the NFC East collectively has 5 wins.  I think that we can all agree that things are pretty fucked right now.  But at least we don't look as god damn stupid as this guy:

Yeah, that's his signature line - Cam-o-flage.  Jesus, man....

There's a lot of stuff to be talking about in the DFL at the moment, as well.  Two teams are still undefeated (Skoot and Patrick) and two teams have yet to see a victory:  RA Dave and Crutch.  But I want to give a special shout out to one team this week, and it's none of these teams.  There is one very special team who, this week, stepped up and said "Yes, I will take the biggest beat down that the league has ever seen.  Yes, I will be not only Mike's bitch, but the entire league's bitch."  Yes, that was McClennen.  Mike scored nearly three times his point total, for a point differential of over 87 points.

A shot of McClennen the entire day on Sunday.

McClennen was so pissed off that he decided to change his team name to ThisIsBS.  This is significant for four reasons:

1. This is the first time in his history with the DFL has changed his name from the original "Derailers".
2. This is the first time that his team name makes sense.  (Like *a lot* of sense.)
3. This is the first time in the history of the DFL that a team has had more name changes than they have had player changes.
4. This allows me to re-use one of my all time favorite gifs:

Oh, Walt, Jr.  How we have missed you!

Things are bad right now, McClennnen.  But buck up.  At least you're not RA Dave or Crutch.  And that works on several levels.

But now, let's get into it!

Elimination league!  Not a lot happening here.  No strikes doled out here this week.  Bunch of New England picks, couple of Seattle picks, a few Arizona picks.... and hey!  Even a Carolina pick!  (Thanks, Kookie!!)  But no strikes, so we move on...

That's Michael Larson.  Look it up.

Pick 'Ems!  Great week for Pick 'Ems!  All of the 7 people who picked either went 5-1 (Patrick, Terri, Skoot, and Phil) or 4-2 (Melanie, Mike, RA Dave).  And looking at the distribution, nobody is below .500, except for me and my abysmal 1st week picks.  So, keep it up, chaps!  (If it matters at this point, the high man is Patrick with 11 points, followed by Melanie, Terri, and Mike at 10 points.)  So keep making the picks!  Plenty of time left in the season!

(They probably think that I mean plenty of time to make good picks and catch up.
I actually meant plenty of time to fuck up and let me reclaim top spot.)

And here's the game.

Mike vs  McClennen:  Yeah, no need to beat a dead horse here...  Mike won.  Big time....  Crickey.  Talk about the perfect storm.  Mike easily hit line up Nirvana.  But man...  I mean, nobody on his team is all that good.  (Well, maybe Charles is... but he sure wasn't any other time this season.)  They just all happened to have a good week at the same time.  So, well done, Mike.  Let's see if ou can keep it up into next week.

Kookie Bowl!!  Yay!  I love it when couples re forced to slug it out!  Although, I will say that I've never seen a wife abuse her husband so badly in public.  I mean, Geez, Melanie.  Take it easy on the guy!!  Kookie does get to say "Man, why didn't I start Andy Dalton" though... I mean, how many times can someone actually say that???

Phil vs Ben:  Well, I finally was able to punch my way into the centurian club.  And I did it by destroying my competition by more than twice their score.  The victory did ring somewhat hallow in that neither Ben nor I used the players that we traded last week.  That would have been awesome.  

Terri vs Missy:  OK.. this was a pretty exciting game.  There was just no way that Missy could win this one going into Monday night.  I mean, Rodgers + Maclin would need to beat Cobb + 35 points.  Impossible, right?  Well, that nearly happened. Thig was within a single touchdown of going Missy's way.  Terri barely eeked out this game by a scant 7.6 points.  Great playing, ladies!

Skoot vs Crutch:  Really guys?  The very first time that Skoot shows the tiniest chink in the armour and this is what happens?? Fully half of the league would have beaten Skoot this week and somehow Crutch's entire team just vomited all over itself and hit line up Nirvana by barely getting up over 60 points.  Skoot's paultry 86 points easily overcame that.  (Though to be fair, Skoot wasn't riding Brady nearly as much this week.  This time it was the Arizon D who racked up an *amazing* 32 points.  Fuck.  I'm pretty sure that Skoot has magical powers to be pulling off wins like this so consistently.)

Patrick vs RA Dave. Again... sad, sad score here.  Our other undefeated team has graciously given us some love in the points department by only throwing down 65 points this week.  3/4 or so of the league would have beaten him, but c'est la vie!  Patrick takes this one 65-47.

So, can the undefeateds keep the streak alive?  It's going to be an uphill battle this week, as both Patrick's and Skoot's normally wonderful QBs are out.  Patrick is letting loyalty guide him by picking up Foles Bradford (of course, I said Bradford...  who else would I have said??) and Skoot is playing the Buffalo card by picking up both thier QB and their TE.  I would say that's kinda ridiculous, but what the hell do I (or anyone really) know this year?

Good luck, y'all and see you on the gridiron this Sunday.  And remember that we've got a Sunday Monrning game this weekend.  So, you might need to set your line ups *really* early if you've got anyone on the Jets or Dolphins this week.  (Yes, the NFL decided that the best representation of their brand in Europe was to send West Side Story over to London this year.  Enjoy that, wankers.)