DFL 2015 Week 2: THE JINX!!!!

Well after Terri's brilliant display of hubris, Patrick dispensed justice in the only way that he knew how.  He threw a hex down on House Garaffa.  Normally, I'm  not a big fan of witchcraft, but in this particular case, I think that it was used properly and effectively.  Seeing such a fundamental collapse of the Garaffa institution left me with a feeling that I cannot put into words.  Only an angel sent from heaven could possibly attempt to convey my happiness:

Yeah, that's the stuff...

So excited to make this write up tonight!  So, let's get into it.

First off, elimination league.  This is big news.  BIG NEWS. Not since 2012 have we had someone with a perfectly short elimination season.  That's right, Mike pulled a Melanie and made two bad choices in a row and completely eliminated himself.  Since I think that this is his first season in the elimination pool, this is how I imagine he is feeling right about now:

Now, Mike wasn't alone this week by a long shot.  EVERYONE else in the league also took a strike.  Well, everyone that is except for defending elimination league champion Phil!

Most of the strikes came from New Orleans inconceivably losing.  At home.  To the Bucs.  Yeah,I don't get it either.  Skoot chose Baltimore against Denver (and how can you really blame him after the Broncos terrible week 1 showing?), and RA decided that maybe looking for a job would have been a better use of his time than actually making a pick.  (In all seriousness, Dave, how did that work out?  Fingers crossed, buddy!)

Now, let's look at the pick'em league.  Lots of picks this week, but we haven't really had that stellar of a showing thus far.  Skoot was the high man going 4-2.  (Thus catapulting him over me overall from week 1), Patrick and I hit 3-3, while the Garaffas kept the pain going, only picking 2-4 each.  Even more pathetically, the Kookies only picked 1 correct game each.  Sadly, Melanie went 1-5, and even more sadly (but for a different reason), Kookie went 1-0.  So, yes, he-Kookie hasn't made a wrong pick yet this season, but he also hasn't cowboyed up to actually make a real pick either.  Crutch, McClennen and Missy - still time to get in on the action.  The top pick so far has 6 points.  I'm pretty sure that this is how we are all picking this year:

That is to say... poorly.

And, now we get to the actual games.  However, before we get there, lemme just say this about the the NFL this year:  What the hell is going on?  I mean, really.  Nobody knows who to pick for the elimination league.  Gord only knows who's going to win a fantasy game in a given week.  I mean NOBODY broke 100 points this week.  This is all kinds of fucked up.  Commissioner Goddell, please fix the situation post haste.

Well, shit.

So, here we go!

Patrick vs Missy : Patrick not only won this game, but he also delivered the beat down of the week., outscoring Missy by almost 40 points.   How'd he pull this off?  Well, by having 3 players score 5 or less points.  Oh wait, and by having big Ben throw down over 30.  And the Denver D chalking up a cool 20 on their own.  To add insult to injury, Missy actually had line up Nirvana this week.  Asked for a quote after the game:

Skoot vs Melanie:  Well, Melanie tried to avoid the jinx this week by putting a terrible towel on her computer.  And how did that work out for her?

Yeah, that's fair to say. Skoot racked up the most points this week, throwing his squarely into first place, and thrusting Melanie down into 4th.  Melanie got bitten by the "Screw You" rule for missing an extra point.  Not that it would have made much of a difference, but the extra points did get pulled back to the 15 yard line (last year it was from the 2 yard line), so it's no longer a gimme.  Maybe we should think about pulling out the Screw You rule next year?    Oh, and Skoot.  Try not to give Brady a hernia since you're riding him so hard on all of your victories this year...

Mike vs Crutch:  Well, well, well!!  Look who pulled himself into 3rd place this week!  Even with starting Keenan Allen (a mistake that I know all too well), Mike still threw down 91 points this week to Crutch's 66.  Crutch:  Pro tip.  When you have Manning the greater on your team, try not to start a quarterback who looks like this in the pocket:

Yes, I'm talking about Cutler.

Phil vs RA Dave:  Here's a list of very sad statistics from this game.  People who scored less than 5 points:  Luck, Gore, Graham, and Prater.  I know, I know.  But surely one of the franchise players was the highest scorer in the game?  No, that would be Dangelo Williams, who I picked up because hey why not?  But hey!  Allen Robertson pulled in a cool 21 points from Dave's bench.  Who?  Yeah, he's a WR on the Jaguars.  This kinda sums up Dave's team at this point:

Ben vs Kookie:  In the lowest scoring, and yes, most depressing, game of the week, Ben beat Kookie with a whopping score of 60-48.  The especially painful part of this is that it leaves 6 of Ben's starters with some level of injury.  I'm pretty sure that this one image can sum up both of the teams in this game:

McClennen vs  Terri:  And we end with the jinx itself. Not only did Terri lose the game, but she lost her starting QB as well.  Now, Terri, I know that this hurts, but with Romo, you're gonna get hurt sooner or later.  It's best to get the hurt out of the way now.  As sad as this game was, the sadder thing is that with this victory, McClennnen climbed to.... 10th place.  It's painful, it's sad. I can't even find a good image to sum this game up.  So, you get nothing...

Now, don't let this depressing NFL season weigh you down too much.  Remember, the Pope came into the country this week. Historically, when the Pontiff comes to town, the teams get a boost.  I know that he circled NC airspace while waiting to land to meet the president.  And from DC, he's going to head to Philly and New York.  So, maybe the NFC East will finally get a shot in the arm that it needs to limp into mid-season.

And one last thing... look at all of the trades!!  2 trades came in this week!! How about that!  Plus, I just saw that Yahoo! now gives you the option to trade draft picks for next year.  Yay!!  So, get on the trades.  60% of the time, it makes both teams stronger!!