DFL Week 6: Suddenly Bullshit Breaks Out.

Well, riding on the coat tails of Ben's bitter post (and one of the best posts in the history of the league, in my opinion), I've decided to get pretty bitter myself this week.  Why is that?  Well, I took my second strike in a row on the elimination league (Come on, Eagles!!!  Man Up!!  Assholes!) and I got beaten to a pulp in both of my leagues.  So, I was going to start off this post with a round of ad hominem attacks on each of you, but apparently, that could hurt my readership of 10.  So, everyone gets off with a stiff warning this time.

(Also, on happy web page notes...  We have over 50 posts in this blog and we have 2000 page views!  Squee!!  But this is far too much happiness for the bitter post.)

Starting off like we always do is the elimination league...  The most important thing happened in this league.  I was eliminated this week after Vick went on the field and just vomited all over the place.  (Really, Vick?  2 INTs and a Fumble against the Lions?  Aarrgh!!!)  So, this leaves only Joy and Ben left.  Joy's still strikeless and Ben's got one strike.  I'd wish you two good luck, but screw you guys.

Next up is Pick'em... Kookie still leads the way on this one.  But Mike did fall to third place with his stellar 2-4 picks this week.  Sadly, Kookie and Phil did the best with 4-2 picks, which keeps Kookie firmly in 1st place.  Which leads me to my next point...

Will all you bastards set your line ups before Sunday morning? I mean, I can probably take Kookie out of the top spot, but only if I know that you'll wake up from your coma and actually bench your players on BYE *cough* Skoot and Joy *cough*.  And if you really need to start your BYE players, at least do it when you're playing me.  Cuz let's face it, my team isn't really getting any better...

Just one final word on the picks - Joy, Skoot, and Missy - you don't have any picks this year...  Think that you can snag the Hutton Award of Excellence by only making one pick this year and getting it right?  What's that?  Yep, the gauntlet  just got thrown down.

Oh, who am I kidding?  It's more like this:

That's right.  Red Warrior needs food... badly.  And by "Red Warrior", I mean "pink girlie man".  And by "food", I mean "a win".  And by "badly" I mean "So freaking badly it hurts."  That's right I'm segueing into the games.  And let's start off with the Kookie Bowl.

Melanie delivered the smack down of the week.  This was the biggest beat down of the season thus far.  I say so far since I'm sure that Kookie hasn't hit rock bottom quite yet.  With his 20th move this year, he picked up this guy:

Let's be fair.  Even though he is playing the wrong sport and can't even stand above the ground, he's better than half the players that are on Kookie's mess of a team.

Next up is the chatty bowl.  RA Dave and I had a nice little gab fest going on about my starting QB and starting DEF (as they were going head to head this week and that's generally a no-no).  Luckily, I was talked into picking up a nice DEF. Unluckily, everyone on RA Dave's team just went bonkers.  So, I took the lose there.  Dammit.  (And I had the people on my side...  The people!)

Next up... The Naughty Name Bowl...  Uncle Fucker came on strong and gave the Penetrators a good Rodgering initially.  But Crotch's Penetrators weren't licked yet.  They keep inching their way further and further up the score board.  Sadly though, they were impotent to come from behind.  They took it on the backside as the Fucker ultimately took down their pants and showed them what for.  OK enough of this paragraph.  I've got a feeling that we'll be attracting enough undesirables to this blog from just this alone.
(One last thing.  The real kick in the nuts is that not a single person (including Ben) voted for him *again* this week.  Maybe this week will turn things around for UF?)

The Upset of the Week, as called by whom?  (That's right, jerks, I use proper grammar!!)  Me, you bastards!  Not sure how it happened, but Patrick (with nobody on BYE) lost by a solid 31 points.  And here's  a fun fact.  Mike G had a 28 point game with RG3, which was only 15 points shy of Aaron Rogers discount double check of forty freaking three points.  I'm not sure who Mike is playing in week 7, but I firmly expect to be back on his mediocre ways by then.

The BYE Bowl is next.  There were 5 players on BYE in Joy vs Skoot's match up.  And the score showed it.  69 to 41 in Joy's favor.  Of course, it is *really* bad for Skoot when the BYE player that he started outscores his starting QB. (And only barely has fewer points than 4 of his starters.)  Maybe it's time to do a trade for a new QB?  Maybe to Mike G?

Finally, we reach the quiet bowl.  Missy versus Terri.  Not a lot of smack, not a lot of fanfare here.... Just two ladies with a lot of non-superstar players quietly dueling it out....  Missy came out the victor, but shhh!!!  don't tell anyone.

One last thing that I wanted to mention was a rules question that RA Dave pointed out on the Yahoo! boards this week.  In short, WRs are going crazy with points this season mostly due to the 1 point/catch rule that we have in effect.  So, a lot of catches, without a lot of yards would outscore a WR who only got one long bomb pass.

I actually really like the discussion, but sadly it's too late this season to start changing stats around.  The current points scheme came about I want to say about 5 years ago when I first took over as commish.  Back then, RBs were *dominating* the league.  So, we put the point per catch rule into effect. However, we also moved the yardage for WRs to 20 yards per point (whereas RBs still hang out at 15).  It did work pretty well for a few years, but I think that RA Dave has a good point in that the NFL is a hell of a lot more pass happy now than they were even last year. I think that Skoot and I were talking about the point per catch being a bit too much last year, but I forgot about it when we were doing the rules changes this year... O well.  Anyway, there's probably some room for tweaking in there for next season.  But, for now, just go out and find yourself a good WR.  :-)

As far as fractional points go, I'd tend to stay away from that, just because I like to keep things simple.  That being said, I'm also not above moving to that next year if that's what the league wants.