DFL 2018 Week 10: The short, short version.

Hey guys...  Well, it's that time of year again.  Where the leaves are changing color, it's getting just a little cooler, and football is in high gear.  Oh, yeah, and my kids are bringing home every conceivable illness to share with me.

via GIPHY

So, yeah, I could lament that I took another heartbreaking loss this week *cough*bullshit*cough*. 

I could get excited that Le'veon decided to sit and what wonderful news that is for any owners of Conner...

Statement from GM Kevin Colbert on RB Le’Veon Bell:

"I want to confirm that Le’Veon Bell did not sign his Franchise Tender today and, as a result, he will not be eligible to play football during the 2018 season."

— Pittsburgh Steelers (@steelers) November 13, 2018

Sorry, Terri.  :(

But I'm not going there.  I'm going to bed.  At least I will be, once this post is officially out there for your consumption.

So.. On with the show!!!!

Elimination league.  Man,I really thought that there was going to be at least one strike handed out this week.  Browns beat the Falcons, Bills going hog wild on the Jets, Titans thwomping the Pats, and Dallas toasting da iggles....But no.  McClennen and Josh both picked KC over Arizona (to be fair, this had a massive spread too), and both advance.  

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Pick 'ems.  Well, if last week was the week of painful groans for shitty picks, this week was the week of cheearful huzzahs! for good picks.  Phil, Crutch, Mike, and Josh all went 4-2.  Ben went 3-3.  And Terri - Oh man!! Terri forgot to make picks!!  So, that leaves us with:

Phil: 42

Ben: 34

Crutch: 33

Mike: 32

Josh: 32

Terri:  27

So, pretty much everyone is within striking distance of each other... Well... I'm kinda ahead, but there are still 4 more weeks of the regular season, so plenty of time for me to fuck up.

Let's get into the games, shall we?

Stephen (111.12) vs. McClennen (55.03).  Geez Louise!!  Stephen, you are the streakiest of the streaky.  When you win, you REALLY FREAKING WIN.  This is the second time this season that you scored the most points in the week, delivered the beat down of the week, AND doubled your competitor's point total.  As for McClennen... Well, on the plus side, you have the longest streak in the league.  I mean 7 in a row isn't something to shake a stick at... Well, it kinda is, but for all of the wrong reasons.

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Patrick (96.24) vs. D (73.58).  Patrick knocked this one right the hell out of the park.  Zeke and McCaffrey topped 50 points by themselves.  And D?  Well, you did hit line up Nirvana, even though one of your starters did goose egg.  (And he did start too - he just missed as many PATs as he made....)  So, Patrick, with this win, you climb right into 1st place...

Dammit.

Josh (86.07) vs. Mike (68.24).  Well, this was a slugfest!  Josh started Thursday night off with a 30+ game by Big Ben.  Mike responded with a 26 point game by Brees.  So Josh responded by unleashing Gordon for a 17 point game.  Mike said Ha!  Gurley also has a 17 point game! Sadly, that's about all that Mike had, as Josh also had Allen and Fournette waiting with double digit games.  Does anyone care that both Defenses shit the bed?

Yeah, didn't think so...

Ben (77.55) vs. Terri (57.25).  Well, Ben's TE was pretty much the super star here.  Well done, Ebron! And Terri....  Well Terri's got her ass kick more by BYE weeks than poor player performance.  She had 3 double digit performances, but 2 starters on BYE.  Shoulda Woulda Coulda... but didn't.  Ben - time for an interview?

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(I don't know, man.  It's getting late!)

Kyle (68.65) vs. Phil (66.10).  Man... Kyle EEEEKED this one one out.  By a skinny 2 point margin.  Lots of things to talk about here, but the big story is that Luck outscored Brady by 14 points ... because of reasons.  Also to note here, Kyle pulls in the YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR Award for pulling in a win when nobody chose him. (Which, of course, bumped me from first place.)

Crutch (65.21) vs. Skoot (63.68).  With an even SMALLER margin, Crutch pulls in a win this week against the 10th ranked Skoot.  Let's be honest here, we were all secretly rooting for Skoot to pull in another short handed win, weren't we? And he almost did it too!  If Saquon could just get back into beginning of season form, Skoot would have walked away with the win here.  

OK fellas, we're staring down week 11 and that means only one more week of BYEs.  Good luck.

DFL 2017 Week 10: It ain't getting better...

Hey!  Remember last week how I was all hopeful that October was going to be the end of all of the pain?  Didja check the scoreboards this weekend?

Spoiler Alert:  It wasn't pretty...

Both Skoot and I take *another* loss this week, in perhaps the stupidest game of chicken to see who can have the longest losing streak in the league.  I'm going to guess that he blinks first.  

But here's the thing.  It's not that 3/4 of my top draft picks are out (and the last one is a WR whose QB is out).  No, no.... The worse thing is Ben.  You might think that my terrible writing style made me forget to finish that sentence.  It did not.  I will retype it to emphasize what I just said.  In fact, you know what?  I'm going italics with this.  Ben is the worst.

Where to start unpacking my shit show of an old roommate?  Well, let's take a look at his bench.  He's still carrying Luck.  You know why?  To spite me.  No, seriously...

Editor's note:  I actually hit line up Nirvana this week because my bench scored
a grand total of 0 between injuries and BYEs.  (And I had to drop starters to do so.)

But that's not all.  Check this.  See how Ben forgot to swap out his TE this week?  Well, turns out, that was actually intentional:

Does my warning against hubris slow him down?  Nay!  It only makes him double down, like a mini-Trump:

Then what happens?  What happens????  Not only does Ben win, but he gets the highest points total of the week, AND locks in the first playoff berth of the year.  

Screw that guy.  Amirightguys??

OK... but let's segue from ranting to actual reporting, shall we?

Pick 'ems!  Only three entries this week.  Ben went 5-1, Phil 4-2, and Crutch 2-4.  So, that means that Ben is officially in striking distance with 7 weeks left.  Again, fuck that guy.  But in happier news, Crutch did manage to scrape together enough points to be tied for 3rd right now.   (And if the season ended right now, he'd be ahead because he's got more overall picks than Josh does.)

Phil  39

Ben  36

Crutch 23

Josh 23

Terri 15

Patrick 15

Mike 14

Also, yet ANOTHER You're not my supervisor.  Everyone picked Skoot to beat Crutch this week, but Skoot decided that perhapsa shitty team was the better part of valor and nosedived...

Guess that we can't put it off any longer...  Let's get to the games.

Ben vs. Terri.  We all know what happened here, and nobody is happy with it.  Least of all Terri, because she just pulled off a Ben AGAINST Ben, because she scored the second highest points this week, but she played the highest point total.  And one more quote from Ben, just in case you don't realize what a pile of dicks he is:

Josh vs. Mike.  This was projected to be a hella-close games and it certainly turned out to be!  Josh *barely* eeked out a victory over Mike by less than a point.  (As a side note, I cannot believe how many games have come down to less than a point this year.  it's uncanny!)  So, once again, Mike lives up to his namesake and remains firmly in last place.  But barely so...

Kyle vs. Phil.  Another close one here!  Kyle pulls in a much needed win to hopefully keep his post season alive with a small margin of victory of 3 points.   And if I may take an aside here, I currently have the point points for AND the most points against.  I'm pretty sure that I've had this all season, but I know that I've had it for at least 5 weeks.  September (when I last tasted victory) seems so far off....  I remember those halcyon times!!!

Jesse, No!  Be nice..

Crutch vs. Skoot.  Finally, Crutch's team is coming together.  4 players went double digits, and somehow he pulled off a pretty decisive win, even though he only scored 67 points.  On the other hand, I've been giving Skoot a hard time for not setting his line up the last few weeks.  And what happens?  He hits line up Nirvana and can't do a damn thing with it.  

I mean, like, not  really.  Set your line up, man!

Patrick vs. D.  And speaking of forgetting to set line ups.   Geez guys.  What happened here?  3 players (total from both teams) were started who didn't need to.  and to top it off, D started the Buffalo D against NO.  I mean, really?  

Kerry vs. McClennen  I mean, usually married games are more fun than this.  On the plus side, both teams did start a full line up.  But on the minus (and more pertinent) side, LOWEST SCORE OF THE WEEK.  And for extra shame for McClennen, that would be the beat down of the week that he just got there.  For this shameful performance from both of you, there will be no gif.

Just a static image.  Think about what you've done.

I would say good luck next week, but really, what do I know?  If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry a little...

DFL 2016 Week 10: Are you freaking kidding me???

OK seriously, what in the hell happened this week?  It seem like the world got flipped, turned upside down....

No.. I think that it was crazier than that...

Yeah, that is much more like it.

So,let's get into it.  Remember how last week Dave, Terri, and I were all intensely battling for first place in Pick 'ems??  Well, Dave forgot to make ANY picks, I went 1-5, and somehow Terri pulled in 3-3.    But wait!  There's more!  Mike was the king this week with 4-2, which means that he's right back in it!  So, that leaves us like this:

Terri:  35
Phil:  34
Dave: 33
Mike:  31

Or to show this in picture form, this is kinda how we look coming down the stretch:

Ugly, ugly, ugly.  Exciting, sure.  But Ug-ly.

And if you get that reference, I take my hat off to you.

I'm not even going to beat around the bush.  We're going to get right into the games, the most important ones first:

McClennen vs Phil.  Mother-fucker.  That's all that I can say about this game.  With this win, McClennnen ends my 4 game winning streak and most importantly, keeps his razor thin advantage over me.  How thin?  Going into the game, I was 5-4, he was 4-5. Coming out of the game, we're both 5-5.  But he is ranked higher than me because his point total is a whopping 2.35 points higher than me.  What was the point difference in the game?  2.5 points.  DAMMIT.  Of course it's not like there was a controversial call that would have given me the game, should it have gone my way...

Yeah, that would be Gronk getting manhandled in the end zone.  Who's team is he on again?

This is what I've been reduced to, griping that the Pats aren't getting calls going their way...  What have I become??

Missy vs Kookie.  Wait... what?  Shouldn't this have been a blowout?  Why is this such an imporant game?  Well, it was pretty thorough beating, but not the way that you'd expect. Missy pulled in her 3rd win of the season, while Kookie took his second loss of the season.  What happened?  Well, Brady was shut down, Harris couldn't get things going against AZ, an Nick Folk...  Well, he missed his only scoring shot all day, which was a PAT.   Damn Kookie, when it rains it pours.  But, I think taht I speak for the rest of the league when I say:

'Specially Mike.  And speaking of Mike....

Mike vs Skoot.   Now, THIS was as bad of a beating as you'd expect with the #2 team going up against the ass last team.  Mike administered the beat down of the week because pretty much his whole team was firing on all cylinders.  As for Skoot... well, next yer will be better, right?

Just this season, man. New draft next year.  And just think of it!
You're going to be seeded awesome!

Patrick vs Crutch.  Well, despite Patirck's best efforts to sabotage himself, he pulled out a win here.  (I mean, really, Patrick?  Cutler?  What were you thinking?)  This means that Crutch's uncanny win streak is broken.  It was a pretty good run, but it's over now.  So, get back into the swing and start setting your line up, dude!

Unless you are playing me.  In which case you can piss right off...

Terri vs Melanie.  After this week, fully half the league has a 5-5-0 record.  With Terri's win over Melanie, she joins this illustrious group. See, three positions on Terri's team went wild (Big Ben, Santos, and KC D).  Meanwhile, only two on Melanie's team did (Bortles and Elliott).  And as insane s it sounds, even with Elliott scoring OVER 30, Melanie's other team members pissed their pants  JUST enough to cost her the game.   I'm pretty sure that this is the only team that I've seen this week to start Elliott and still lose.

Ben vs. Dave.  Not entirely sure what happened here, but I like it.  The game was predicted to go down to the wire, but Ben said "Fuck all that" and won with a comfortable 7 point margin.  Good for Ben, as it puts him in the 5-5-0 club, bad for Dave, as it put him within striking distance of the 5-5-0 club; Dave's record is currently 6-4.

I didn't really have an appropriate image for this game, and I've been sitting
on this gif for so long.  So...

Alrighty folks, we;re entering into the last month of the season.  Keep yourselves sharp and fight for those coveted 8 playoff spots.  Good luck! (Except to my competitors... and Im just seeing that my season ends playing first Kookie, then Mike.  Shit... that's definitely going to put a crimp in my playoff run.)

DFL 2014 Week 10: Here comes the playoffs...

I hear you saying "Playoffs?  It's Week 10!!  We've still got 4 weeks of regular season before we get to the playoffs.  Surely you're talking crazy talk!!"

  

But I'm not.  Since you chumps have seen fit to both roll over for Missy AND just embrace you inner suckitude, Missy just locked herself in to a playoff position this week.  In Week 10.  Really?  Geez Louise, y'all!  I guess that I am going to have to lay some smack on her myself this weekend.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

Presented without commentary.  I'm just sayin',,,

Pick 'Ems... Well, not a lot of diversity here.  Only 4 people made picks this week and for the most part, we were not choosing many underdogs.  Phil, Ben, and Skoot all chose the predicted winner across the board.  It worked out well, as we all went 5-1.  (Dammit, Skoot.  Lose and we could have had a few bingos this week!!)  Mike, on the other hand, kept on choosing the Gs to win.  Points for loyalty, but not real points.  Not even imaginary pick'em points.  You're still in 3rd place, barely.  Phil is still on top with 39 points, Ben right behind him at 37 points, Then Mike at 32 points, Skoot at 30 points, and RA Dave still swinging at 29 points.  Tight race, gents.  Let's keep 'em coming!

(Though this does bring up an interesting question... are people looking at the games or just blindly picking the predicted winner?  The last two weeks, the line ups have been so lopsided that there really was not choice but to choose the predicted winner.  )

Let's just start at the top and work our way down this week, shall we?

Phil vs Kookie:  This all started on Thursday night.  Phil scored almost double predicted points when Tate snuck a TD in.  And Kookie?  Well, he didn't fair quite so well.  Nugent score half the projected points.  Dalton on the other hand scored almost the absolute value of what he was predicted.

Math humor!!

Sadly, things didn't get much better from here for Kookie.  Phil wins by an impressive almost 40 point margin, thus sliding Kookie that much further out of the playoffs.

Crutch vs Patrick:  This was an impressive game in that it really shows what becoming a dad does to your fantasy team.  I mean, Patrick, the one strong and powerful turned in a sad and lonely performance this week against Crutch.  Patrick's top scorer?  Matt Stafford.  I mean, just...  Then two sub 1 point performances by his starters really kinda killed any hope that he had to take this game home.  (Sadly, Patrick also hit line up Nirvana this week, what with this ridiculously tiny bench.)  Crutch, though under-performing, kind of won by default.

Crutch's victory speech.

Melanie vs Skoot:  What... the ... fuck.  Skoot decides that a switch hitter (see what I did there?) is better than a kicker.  Sorry.. That a still-on-the-commissioner-no-play-list switch hitter is better than a kicker.  Oh, and for good measure, let's just start an injured running back.  That will surely lead to victory!  And.. kinda it did.  Melanie kinda just played some people and lost spectacularly.  I mean, granted, she started everyone, but her team was shakey enough that she can now utter this completely unthinkable sentence "Why, o why, did I not start Isaiah Crowell??"

RA Dave vs Mike:  Bye bye bye

Six, count 'em, six players on bye in this game. Everyone on the bench was on BYE.  Mike even had to start Z Stacy, who Goose Egg'ed.  Now, to be fair RA Dave did start Terrance Williams, who also pulled in 0 points.  A few good points scores across the board...  Julius Thomas is back.  Somehow the Arizona D lit up St Louis more than expected... where did the crazy points come from?  Oh, there it is!  Marshawn Lynch went buck ass wild and pulled in an insane 35 points.  Well played, RA Dave, you just earned yourself a ticket to the centurian club. Mike, good on ya too for pulling in an impressive 91 points... You just earned entry into the Ben club for fantasy coaches who don't win even with massive numbers of points.

Ben vs McClennen:  Chris.  Dude.  Seriously.  Change up your players!!  K and D on bye?  come on now!  What do I always say?  K and D win games.  Granted, Ben delivered the beat down of the week (again) this week to you, so I wouldn't have mattered, but still.  And Ben.. don't think that we haven't noticed that you're just riding the Eagles D to the championship this year.  Just wait until next week when Sanchez can't stay on the field because he's going up a real D.  (Man, as a Carolina fan, it hurt to say that.)

Pictured above:  Ben more often than I care to admit this season.

Missy vs Terri:  Eesh, first versus last.  Yeah, this played out about as expected.  Well, as expected by everyone, except Yahoo!.  They estiamted that Terri would just barely eek out a victory against Missy.  As it turned out, Missy turned on the after burners to throw down a nearly 50 point victory.  This with 4 players turning in a grand total of 5.5 points.  That's... that's just uncanny.  Not that the number 1 player just barely got into the centurian club, but that she's not laying down the beat down of the week more often.

Why does Ben get all of the hate?  I humiliate people too!

Oh, and by the way...  I was totally serious about whipping Missy's ass this weekend.  So, if you're still in the running for the pick'ems league OR you just want a guaranteed win this week, then the smart money is to pick me this week.  Even with Missy taking more than a fifth of her overall moves this week to try to stop the Phil tide, I am still projected higher than she is.  Everything is lining up for me.  Missy's ungodly winning streak?

Well, this week, but you get the idea.

DFL Week 10

Good Morning Fellow DFL'ers, Since Phil is out this week after a freak shaving accident in which he is still swimming around in his own feces hair, I have volunteered to try and phil the void. (yeah! you see what i did there ? I know you're super proud of my punny-ness phil! I'll be here all week)

But before we get started I have a very important question for you.  Are you aware that Phil is THE official moral authority against plagiarism ? Did you know that if he sees you burning a CD as a 'backup' for yourself, that he will literally 'unscrew your head and shit down your neck' ?

Did you know that he's actually on the board of directors for copyright infringement ? Did you know he's friends with Lars Ulrich and will "cap yo ass" if you are found "in violation of Phil" ?

For years Ben and I have fought the good fight and tried to bring Phil to his senses. Come to the dark side of the force. But he cannot be stopped. For God Sake, the man was a holier than though Paladin in his D&D campaign (Thanks McClennen!! that helped a lot). So Phil, I know when you read this post, you're gonna shit yourself when you get to the bottom....of the post. I know we might not be friends anymore after this. I know I will have crossed a line and that you will send your pack of angry Rau wolves after me to that state in the NORTH we call Maryland. But I can't help myself. I have a problem clearly and I can't stop. But i digress....lets talk football and we'll get back to this shortly....

Well Week 10 was fun wasn't it ? :)

CLE Rocks (Kuchi)  vs. It's Not Detroit (Melanie)
You know what's good ? Winning. Winning is always good. But do you know what's even better than winning ? I'll tell ya. Its Melanie winning despite having the 3rd worst score in the league this week. Which really means that there was only one other team you could have beaten since Melanie was utterly destroying her husband this week Poor Kuchi. One of these days buddy you're gonna notch a 1 in that W column. But until then, you get the official Crap on a Stick award for literally being a big giant poopy turd. 

The Artist Formerly Known as Ben vs. TwitterHashTag Boy

In the battle of the symbols this week (because God only knows what both of their team names will be next year ).(Ben if you decide to find a way to make your team name even more unpronounceable...sigh...oh i dunno..like for instance... ....no not the word blank, but actually a team with no actual name ...i swear, Phil or I are gonna have to ORTH the shit out of your house. Just sayin.... And Mike ol' buddy, i'll give ya props, at least you had the courtesy to spell out your team name (i secretly hope you name your team 'SmoothieKing' or 'PrivateDancer').  Mike, you get the Almost There award for almost floating into 8th place this week for the playoffs.  

Ben, you get the Shaft award this week for literally having the 3rd most points in the league and only have 3 wins.

GG Purple Cobras (David) vs. The Mud Turtles (Terri)

Ever have one of those days ? The Purple Cobras had one of those days this weekend and found themselves outscored by more than double their own points. Shit was hard to swallow. All i can say is this.

Terri obviously gets the 'Kicking Him While He's Down' award for....well...you know.

Knightly Yardage (Crutch) vs. ScoobyDoobyDoo (Missy)

Well Crutch, you had it all had but Missy had to go and ruin your day by 18 points this week. In any other week, you woulda won but apparently the Rams DEF decided to come out of the woodwork this week and score a ....wait for it....34 point win. Needless to say. never had a chance. Now go shake hands with missy and take your joint smoke a peace pipe award to make it all better.

WrathPhil vs. The Derailers (Chris M)

Phil, you get the one lucky son of a bitch award this week as McClennen failed to put in...a whole friggin team. to each of you I shout...FAIL. No Soup for You. No trophies this week.

Crap on a Stick 2 (Scott) vs. Cagenado (Patrick)

And in the battle of northern agression this week between the mason-dixon line (yes phil, yes, it's technically between MD and PA, fine fine), Skoot and Patrick duked it out with the Sticks of Crap prevailing to retain the lead over Terri by points for 1st. Patrick gets a pass though this week because he had a baby. And I hear pooping those things out can be 'almost as painful as breaking an arm' so he was probably delirious and not up to speck. And for that you get the 'Preggers award' this week

---

So yes, back our discussion of Phil and his non-cd-burning-copying-napster-downloading-non-plagiarism self. I would like you all to know that I've found him out. As they say, the jig is up buddy. This so called original blog you have is the 2nd of it's kind! !!! .  Folks, i give to you the original 'Shenanigans and TomFoolery' blog.

http://www.sebastianvonbuchwald.com/

So keeping that in mind, I say to you "Good job Phil. Welcome to the dark side of the force". I am proud to have you finally come over and join the rest of us who are all horrible people. And with that I now can give you this. Merry Christmas everyone! For those of you that have Android-based phones or tablets this is like 2 seconds to pull. For Ipad's I have not found a way yet since it forces you to have to go through Itunes but if someone can shed some light here , greatly appreciated. Anyways. For those of you that read ESPN or watch The League, ,you will probably recognize the guy on the left. He is the senior fantasy analyst at ESPN and has led one hell of a life that brought him to that point. The book is fantastic and I highly recommend looking into its. 50% of it is about Berry's upbringing as a kid in early fantasy leagues in Texas throughout the 80's, 90's , his time at Syracuse University and then to Hollywood as a writer for shows like Married with Children and Crocodile Dundeee. So 50% isn't even about fantasy football. The other half are all real life stories of real leagues around the nation that do some of the most screwed up stuff to gain advantage/win etc. in their respective leagues. You'll find yourself laughing at almost all of them.

ePub | mobi


And that's it for me. Hope you enjoyed it. Later -Scott

DFL Week 10: The quiet blackout...

I have to admit... Long about this time in the season when I have such as suck team, I find it hella hard to keep with the updates.  I mean, hell, I didn't even do an update last week until the freaking Monday night game.  Plus, a bunch of stuff is going on - family visiting both last weekend and this upcoming one, kids and wife are sick, I'm GMing a new D&D campaign on Monday...  The list just keeps going on and on.

So, each week, I think "Well, maybe I can get away with not doing the write up.  Who's going to notice?"  And then I sit back and see how the games play out.  So, why am I writing up the games this week?  I'll tell you why.

Cuz you assholes happen.

Good lord, I just can't believe that even after all of these years, that you pricks can figure out ways to amaze and astound me with your tomfoolery.

The good news is that the elimination league is out of the way.  That means I can focus all of my rage and salty language on what really matters.  Just so that we can pictorially set this stage, I think that this sums me up right about now:

And in case you're wondering what I'm shouting there, it's a stream of vulgarities that would make a sailor blush.

So, here we go.  Pick'ems!

Something is going on at House Kookie.  Melanie went 5-1 (jumping ahead of RA Dave in the process) and Kookie went 6-0 in the picks this week.  That's right.  Kookie, thus far the only one to have a perfect week, just did it again.  I personally think that Kookie went ahead in time, got a book of all things that ever happened and then came back to the present.  Now, he's sharing with the wife and they are just rocking it.  On the other side of the spectrum, we've got the Gs sitting and 2-4.  Not hugely newsworthy, except that it puts them both in striking distance of Melanie and RA Dave.  So, that race is heating up nicely.  Crutch, Ben, and I all were sitting at 4-2 this week.  This means, of course, that the small gap that I closed last week when Kookie went on sabbatical is now gone.  Mother FARTER.  FART you, Kookie.  FART YOU IN THE EYE!!!

And now, the real league.  After this week's performance, I came to a sudden realization:

That's right, you jerks are forcing me to go out to sea.

So, the biggest news of the week is that the record-breaking 63 point smack down that Joy threw out last week was subsequently broken this week.  Patrick laid a 64 point differential on me this week, not only picking up the beat down of the week, but also in the history of the league.  A pox on your house, sir.

However, we can't discount the role that Eli Manning played in all of this.  Why, with his cumulative last month's worth of scores being negative, I am astounded.  I mean, I know that he's no Payton, but come on, he's no Romo either.  So, with that being said, he's going on the bench this week.  And what powerhouse did I pick up to take his place.  Andy Dalton.  Who?  He's a professional QB, don;t you know?  Yes, in the NFL.  For the Bengals.  Yes, Cincinnati still has a team.  But just to crystalize this for everyone.  Eli Manning is being replaced by Andy Dalton.  May Gord have mercy on our souls...

So, well played Patrick.  And I think that this is all that I  have to say about this game...

Next up... Ben vs Mike G.  All of Ben's players hit into the double digits, except for his flex position, who got a big old goose egg.  That's right, when Ben puts Bush into the flex position, he gets nothing out of it... (I know, I know, I could have worked on that joke a little more, but you get what you get...)

And Mike.. good lord.  the one week that Flacco decides to wake up and you have to play ben when he's obviously given his team steroids...  Sorry, bud.  There's always next week.

Melanie vs Terri:  Melanie's lack of faith in Jamal Charles, though well founded, finally bit her in the buttox, as he almost doubled his projections.  It didn't realy matter as she beat Terri pretty soundly, but still...

As for Terri, I appreciate you taking my advice for Kickers and Defenses winning games, but maybe you should pick up the rest of your tea as well?

Skoot vs. RA Dave....  Damn, Skoot.  You have the touch of death his season.  First, MJD craps out on you.  Now, Vick is gone for at least a little while, and Hernandez is stuck in the "Maybe he'll be better by Sunday" dance of death...  Next year, man.  You and I are going straight to the top!!!

Dave...  Not a bad week.  Take away your DEF and you have a pretty blah week, as a matter of fact.  but somehow you had the foresight to start a Defense against Carolina.  How'd you figure on that one?  :-)

Joy versus Missy : Or what I like to call the gift of the week.  I'm not sure how many of you got bitten by the black out on Sunday afternoon, but Joy gifted the game this week to Missy because of it.  Joy sets her line up at around noon on Sundays.  So, she just barely missed her opportunity to change out her two players on BYE.  To add insult to injury, she wasn't able to pick up a DEF on Monday night by the time that Yahoo! came back online.  For some unknown reason, Melanie had the KC defense.  Arrg!!  (Were she able to do that, Joy would have won the game.  Needless to say, Joy took it a lot better than I did...)

So, Missy, you obviously get the lucky luck award this week...

Finally, Crutch and Kookie.... once again kookie eeks out a win this week.  And let me be one of the many to say "What *the* fuck???" Here's the thing.  Kookie hasn't won a game since week one, so much as his opponents have lost in the last  3 weeks.  However, I do have to hand it to Kookie, he did regenerate his team from nothing since week 1.  Good lord, would it not be great if Kookie snuck into the playoffs and made a run for the gold?

Though again, combined TE scores in this game?  Over 50!  (yes yes yes, more than my entire team put together.  But not if I had benched Manning... Dick....)