DFL Week 10: The quiet blackout...

I have to admit... Long about this time in the season when I have such as suck team, I find it hella hard to keep with the updates.  I mean, hell, I didn't even do an update last week until the freaking Monday night game.  Plus, a bunch of stuff is going on - family visiting both last weekend and this upcoming one, kids and wife are sick, I'm GMing a new D&D campaign on Monday...  The list just keeps going on and on.

So, each week, I think "Well, maybe I can get away with not doing the write up.  Who's going to notice?"  And then I sit back and see how the games play out.  So, why am I writing up the games this week?  I'll tell you why.

Cuz you assholes happen.

Good lord, I just can't believe that even after all of these years, that you pricks can figure out ways to amaze and astound me with your tomfoolery.

The good news is that the elimination league is out of the way.  That means I can focus all of my rage and salty language on what really matters.  Just so that we can pictorially set this stage, I think that this sums me up right about now:

And in case you're wondering what I'm shouting there, it's a stream of vulgarities that would make a sailor blush.

So, here we go.  Pick'ems!

Something is going on at House Kookie.  Melanie went 5-1 (jumping ahead of RA Dave in the process) and Kookie went 6-0 in the picks this week.  That's right.  Kookie, thus far the only one to have a perfect week, just did it again.  I personally think that Kookie went ahead in time, got a book of all things that ever happened and then came back to the present.  Now, he's sharing with the wife and they are just rocking it.  On the other side of the spectrum, we've got the Gs sitting and 2-4.  Not hugely newsworthy, except that it puts them both in striking distance of Melanie and RA Dave.  So, that race is heating up nicely.  Crutch, Ben, and I all were sitting at 4-2 this week.  This means, of course, that the small gap that I closed last week when Kookie went on sabbatical is now gone.  Mother FARTER.  FART you, Kookie.  FART YOU IN THE EYE!!!

And now, the real league.  After this week's performance, I came to a sudden realization:

That's right, you jerks are forcing me to go out to sea.

So, the biggest news of the week is that the record-breaking 63 point smack down that Joy threw out last week was subsequently broken this week.  Patrick laid a 64 point differential on me this week, not only picking up the beat down of the week, but also in the history of the league.  A pox on your house, sir.

However, we can't discount the role that Eli Manning played in all of this.  Why, with his cumulative last month's worth of scores being negative, I am astounded.  I mean, I know that he's no Payton, but come on, he's no Romo either.  So, with that being said, he's going on the bench this week.  And what powerhouse did I pick up to take his place.  Andy Dalton.  Who?  He's a professional QB, don;t you know?  Yes, in the NFL.  For the Bengals.  Yes, Cincinnati still has a team.  But just to crystalize this for everyone.  Eli Manning is being replaced by Andy Dalton.  May Gord have mercy on our souls...

So, well played Patrick.  And I think that this is all that I  have to say about this game...

Next up... Ben vs Mike G.  All of Ben's players hit into the double digits, except for his flex position, who got a big old goose egg.  That's right, when Ben puts Bush into the flex position, he gets nothing out of it... (I know, I know, I could have worked on that joke a little more, but you get what you get...)

And Mike.. good lord.  the one week that Flacco decides to wake up and you have to play ben when he's obviously given his team steroids...  Sorry, bud.  There's always next week.

Melanie vs Terri:  Melanie's lack of faith in Jamal Charles, though well founded, finally bit her in the buttox, as he almost doubled his projections.  It didn't realy matter as she beat Terri pretty soundly, but still...

As for Terri, I appreciate you taking my advice for Kickers and Defenses winning games, but maybe you should pick up the rest of your tea as well?

Skoot vs. RA Dave....  Damn, Skoot.  You have the touch of death his season.  First, MJD craps out on you.  Now, Vick is gone for at least a little while, and Hernandez is stuck in the "Maybe he'll be better by Sunday" dance of death...  Next year, man.  You and I are going straight to the top!!!

Dave...  Not a bad week.  Take away your DEF and you have a pretty blah week, as a matter of fact.  but somehow you had the foresight to start a Defense against Carolina.  How'd you figure on that one?  :-)

Joy versus Missy : Or what I like to call the gift of the week.  I'm not sure how many of you got bitten by the black out on Sunday afternoon, but Joy gifted the game this week to Missy because of it.  Joy sets her line up at around noon on Sundays.  So, she just barely missed her opportunity to change out her two players on BYE.  To add insult to injury, she wasn't able to pick up a DEF on Monday night by the time that Yahoo! came back online.  For some unknown reason, Melanie had the KC defense.  Arrg!!  (Were she able to do that, Joy would have won the game.  Needless to say, Joy took it a lot better than I did...)

So, Missy, you obviously get the lucky luck award this week...

Finally, Crutch and Kookie.... once again kookie eeks out a win this week.  And let me be one of the many to say "What *the* fuck???" Here's the thing.  Kookie hasn't won a game since week one, so much as his opponents have lost in the last  3 weeks.  However, I do have to hand it to Kookie, he did regenerate his team from nothing since week 1.  Good lord, would it not be great if Kookie snuck into the playoffs and made a run for the gold?

Though again, combined TE scores in this game?  Over 50!  (yes yes yes, more than my entire team put together.  But not if I had benched Manning... Dick....)