DFL 2016 Week 13: Well isn't this ... Interesting?

SNL does not sanction this post.

Man, will you look at that! Things are definitely tighter than they are in most years.  One week left in the regular season and there are 3 (count 'em THREE) teams locked in to the post season.

And before any of you boring-ass Negative Nellies tell me that Patrick is so far ahead in points that he's pretty much in by default, save your freaking breath.  Ben's already pointed that out.   The fun has already been sucked out of that drama.

Pictured above, Ben in his natural state of sucking the fun out of things.

So, yeah, week 14 is going to be wild with 6 people (OK 5 really) vying for 5 (yeah yeah yeah 4) slots.  But before we get into that...

Pick 'ems.  Well, this is also heating up.  I was thinking that it was going to be a 2-3 person race going into last week.  Well, fate intervened and it looks like there's a shot that 4 people could win it.  Big man on campus was RA Dave, going 5-1 this week, and putting himself just barely into 4th place.  Right behind him was Phil going 4-2.  This rocketed me into first place (barely).  Next was Mike, who had a paltry 2-4.  Sadder still was Terri who only got 1-5.  But lest we forget the real winner here.  Kookie tried to sneak in a vote for himself this week, which blew up in his face.  SO here's were we stand now:

Phil:  43
Terri:  42
Mike:  39
RA Dave:  38

Fun fact.  We had one game where ever chose correctly :  Scott (who eeked out a win against Melanie).  And we also had one game where every chose wrong:  Ben (who just barely lost to Crutch, who as far as I can tell still isn't actually playing).  So, there go you.  Thanks for messing up our picks, Ben.

Before we jump into the games this week, lemme just say that this was a pretty conservative week.  Nobody even got close to triple digit score and the beat down of the week was less than 23 points.  Always good to see tight games.

And we'll start with the beat down of the week.  Phil vs. Kookie.  Somehow Kookie is continuing his losing streak.  This time, Phil picks up the win and delivers the aforementioned 23 point beat down of the week.  I'm not even sure what went wrong. Of course, having a butt ton of the patriots injured sure didn't help Brady, and Vinatieri sure didn't get the note to slow down.  But still, everyone else on Kookie's team was just kinda ho-hum, leaving Kookie looking like this:

Patrick vs. Terri.  Patrick pulled in the high score of the week this week with 87 points.  Terri put up a respectable 70 points, which I might remind all of you hosers, would have beaten most of y'all this week.  That lands Terri in 9th place this week, o so close to a playoff berth.

RA Dave vs. Missy.  Well, this was hands down the lowest scoring game of the week.  Dave pulled in a win on this one against Missy who had the low score of the week.Oddly enough, Missy did hit line up Nirvana this week, even with her sadly under performing starters.  That's mostly because the sum total of her bench was a big ol' goose egg.  So, Dave pulls out a W, even with a goose egg of his own, and his D left wishing for a goose egg.

I solemnly swear, no more egg references for the rest of the write up.

McClennen vs. Mike.  In what has to be the most painful, least impactful game of the week, Mike loses this one against McClennen.  And it's pretty much down to Drew Brees getting completely shut down, resulting in net negative points.  Sure it hurts, but really didn't do much, outside of extend McClennen's massive winning streak to 5.  Mike was first and still is, McClennen was third, still is.

Crutch vs. Ben.  OK, this was probably the most straight up painful game to watch this week.  Crutch is still completely on autopilot and this game is crucial for both Ben and Crutch to get into the playoffs.   Crutch is even nice enough to spot Ben a player.  And what happens?  Crutch goes and wins the game straight up.  Meanwhile, Ben is left watching Andy Luck on his bench, coming off a BYE, and more than tripling his actual starting QB, Manning the Lesser.

Ben at the post game interview.

Skoot vs. Melanie.  Yeah, this is definitely a "Wait, they are still playing game?"  Yep, both this week and next week, both of these teams are still playing.  Though next week, they will be playing the part of spoiler really.  :)  Anyways, Skoot pulled the victory here, but that's mostly because this was the most interesting thing about the game:

Yeah, I don't know either.

And that's about it.  Melanie, Missy, and Skoot.  This is officially the end of your post season run.  But you've got one more game to play spoiler in.  Embrace that and mess up your opponents this week.  (Especially you, Skoot.  I'm not forgetting that you snaked Prescott away from me off the waiver wire.  Really put him to good use this week,)

Mike, Kookie, and McClennen...  You're set and pretty much the seeding is done.  So... enjoy a practice week.  Except for you, Mike.  You can just go ahead and bench your players this week.  That'll keep em nice and rested for next week.  :)

Everyone else?  Get hungry for the win and go get it.