DFL 2014 Week 16: Semi-Finals.

First off, it's Christmas week.  So, I wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of my friends in this wonderful league.  Of course, I'm not including Ben in that list because screw that guy.  For the second time this year, Ben kicked the ever loving stuffing out of me.  Congratulations, Ben, you ruined Chirstmas at the Rau Haus:

Phil's reaction about halfway through Sunday.

At the end of Sunday Night Football, it' didn't get any better.

Can freaking NOBODY on my team score???

And of course anger gave way to total sadness on Monday morning.

Man, I don't want to live like the rest of these bastards.  I
*need* a gold ring this year.

 But you're not just screwing up my Yuletide, man.  Look what you're doing to Santa:

Santa lost a lot of money on the game.  A *LOT* of money.

So, here's a special request for everyone in the league.  Point to Ben and

Man, I've gotten a lot of play out of this scene in the write ups this year...

OK OK OK...  I'm getting *way* ahead of myself.  Let's take a look at something extraordinarily exciting... Pick ems!  Eh.. it was only Ben and I picking this week, and we both went 4-0.  Not a lot of upsets this year in the playoffs.  So, it's going to come down to the last week for 1st place and for 3rd place.  Mike and RA Dave... don't forget to pick this week!

(Though eesh, looking at the projections for next week, there's not a lot of surprises coming.  )

So, let's get into the crapfest, shall we?  Now, I'm not calling it a crap fest because I lost (though certainly that was a helpful deciding factor).  Nay, I'm calling it that because every team (except 2) missed their projects.  Like by a lot.  Of the two that exceeded their expectations, one did so impressively and the other... not so much.  (Was that enough of a tease to keep you interested?  Yeah, probably not, but here's a picture of an evil duck to keep your attention...

And thus ends the longest parenthetical of the year.)

Missy (1 seed) vs RA Dave (4 seed).  Missy took this one to the bank and cashed it.  Everyone on Dave's team just shat their pants this week.  Well, except for Beast Mode, but that dude doesn't take a week off.  Brady showed his beginning of the season colors, Maklin couldn't get things going, and the Arizona D played Seattle, with expected results.  That is to say, pulling in negative points.  Missy had Foster, Miller, and Gronk beat expectations, but that was about it.  However, that was enough to get her a ticket to the championship game.

Pictured above:  Missy and Dave in their natural habitat.

Ben (2 seed) vs Phil (3 seed).  Yeah, yeah yeah, we all know how this turned out.  This game was pretty much a collective implosion, just Ben's team imploded a little less than Phil's team.  Do good for ya, Ben!  (And yes, this was the game where my TE pulled in 20 points and Ben's goose egged.  Somehow this supported both Ben's and Phil's opinions on Tight Ends

Dammit, Ben.  Put your shirt on.

Skoot (5 seed) vs Melanie (8 seed).  Fucking Skoot.  He's desperate not to be playoff bitch.  So, what does he do?  He goes and picks up Tony FUCKING Romo.  Then, what does Romo do?  Well, he seems to still be forgetting that it's December and it's time for his implosion.  The Cowboys are *rocking* right now and Skoot just cashed in.  Well done, sir.  Not only did Skoot pick up the win, but he delivered a Ben-like 79 point beat down of the week.

Crutch (6 seed) vs Mike (7 seed).  Crutch was heavily favored in this game, and just *barely* pulled it out.  Mike was the other team that exceeded expectations.  And if Mike had just switched out Keenan Allen for another W/R, then he might be out of the running for playoff bitch. So, Mike, even though you did get more points than expected, it was

Don't forget folks!  Next week (week 17) is the last week of our season.  Check out the NFL standings and see if games matter to your players.  Teams are just salivating for those BYE weeks that are up for grabs and the wildcard tickets.

And just so that we're all on the same page, next week it's

1st seed vs 2nd seed
3rd seed vs 4th seed
5th seed vs 6th seed
7th seed vs 8th seed

I'm  not sure that this has ever happened in the history of the DFL.  Congratulations!  We are having perfectly expected playoffs.  :)

But keep tuning in!  Who's gonna walk away Champion?  Who's gonna sneak in that bronze?  Geez, who's gonna be playoff bitch?  So may unanswered questions!