For you newbies (like McClennen) or people who only read the first post of the season and then ignore it religously (Patrick), here's how we do. Three sections: Elimiation League, Pick 'em League, and the actual DFL itself. So, without any further ado, let's get into it.
(On a related note, I'm going to try to go high brow here. Did you know that in Elizabethan times, "Nothing" was slang for vagina. So, Shakespeare's play "Much Ado About Nothing", was actually a fairly dirty double entendre. OK so really... no more ado here. On to the games.)
Elimination League.
Right out of the gate, two strikes were thrown down. One for Pittsburgh Maulers. The lesson learned here is that you should never, never pick Tampa Bay to win anything. EVER. The other strike is particularly delicious as it is handed proudly to Melanie. It's not important who she picked. What's important is that this is the third strike in a row that she's taken. That's right, Melanie was eliminated in week two last year. Could she, would she, get eliminated in week 2 again this year? I'm sure that she'll take a safe bet in week 2. (Uh-oh.... Oakland. Sure, they've got a 5 point advantage on the spread and they *are* playing Jacksonville at home, but ... esh.)
Pick 'Ems
8 people in, right off the bat... OK, I can dig that. Let's get those votes in early folks! Plenty of time to catch up. Especially with how we pick. :) Anyway, Patrick and Phil top the picks this week, going 5-1. (Both of us took a hit on Patrick's game which, let's admit it, was an anomaly.) Ben, Skoot, and the Gs took second place going 4-2. (And if you're keeping track, Yes, now Skoot has officially picked more games this year than all of last year.) Crutch and R.A. Dave are low men on the totem pole with 3-3 picks.
The DFL
The games, o boy, the games! It looks like there's a big disparity in the teams this year. 4 of the 6 games were decided by more than 20 points. Since it's the first week and the player's union has restricted the amount of practice that the teams are allowed to have, players might still be shaking off the dust. So, I'm not going to say that there are two classes of teams, but let's see how the next couple of weeks shake out. Probably is going to be a bit of normalization going on.
However, I will say that I'm at the top of the heap after week 1. Yay, you bastards! I'm going to drink this in, cuz I think that we all know that it ain't gonna stay this way the whole season. Ah... I can now safely report than it is, in fact, good to be the king.
Lest we forget (because Yahoo! seems to have), the beatdown of the week goes to Teri who delivered it unto Patrick. Well played, Teri. As to Patrick, for shame. You cost us both perfect picks this week. Cowboy up, honky tonk!
Now, let's hand out some awards, shall we?
The Tina Turner Award goes to Phil for being "Simply the best; better than all the rest!" (And if any of you bastards even thinks about making a joke about the beating that I'm about to take, you're out of the league. OK, you're not out of the league, but you'd have to wear the cone of shame.)
The Deju View Crown of Shame goes to Crutch this week. Crutch finished as King of the Losers last year. And now, he starts it off again as the highest scoring week 1 losers. Well, played, Crutch. Not sure if you planned this or not, but golf clap nonetheless...
The What D'you Do Pendant goes to McClennen this week. Yep, pulled off a win, pretty hardily no less. Makes sense though, I mean Brady is his QB. Oh, wait, Brady was held to 10 points? Well, who was his top scorer? A Tight End? WTF? And number 2? Reggie Bush? From DET? Nothing good comes out of Detroit. I don't know what wizardy you have pulled, but the animated corpse of Chris Farley is confused:
The Let's Give the Boy a Hand! diadem goes to RA Dave for somehow figuring out way to not receive the beatdown of the week, even though only 2 people on his team got into the double digits. So, here's another gold clap for the overly tatooed Kapernick. (Also, note to myself, get off the 80s pop music references...)
The Peter Vs. The Giant Chicken handcuffs go to both Bena nd Missy this week. It was predicted to be a tight game, and it very much was. Less than two points separated this game. (OK, maybe this partial point this was a good idea...) Quite a nail biter. But seriously folks. I think that we can all agree that Missy has gotten quite enough victories this season already. Time to spread the wealth around, Missy. To say it plainer: lose more.
The Giddy Up, Payton jodhpurs goes to Terri for riding Manning to victory this week. Had Manning gotten around what he was predicted to, Missy would have been down about 30 points and just barely would have lost.
The Is Everyone Taking Crazy Pills award goes to Patrick. Started Wilson. Solid RB on the Giants. Nothing to write home about, but good enough to hold his own. Went negative points. Anquan "I'm well into my 30s and on a new team" Bolden, on the other hand pulls down 20 points. Whaaaa?
The Foreshadowing ribbon goes to Mike for seeing just how badly he was going to get pounded, and naming his team accordingly. 4 players clocked in at less than 5 points. Eesh... plenty of time to change things up, man. Maybe drop that bum of a QB that you've got starting? ;-)
The No Time for Yo Jibba Jabba gold chain goes to Melanie for very quietly rocking the game. Wasn't quite able to make it to triple digits, but dayum. I did no thting that this was going to be an almost 30 point blow out!
The St Elmo's Fire Shotglass goes to Kookie this week. Two reasons. First HIS TIME IS NOW AND HE's COMIN' ALIVE!! Of course, he's gotta start winning games, but I think that a quick shot John Parr is just what the doctor ordered. And the second reason for the award? It conveniently doubles as a shot glass, just in case the season is as long as the first game seems to indicate...
The Your Uppance Will Come award goes to Skoot. He called it. Crap on a Stick may just be engraved in the annals of the year. Big win, plus he's just picked up a great TE before week 1 was even done. What's that? His starting TE was almost as good as the one that he picked up. Time for a decision, sir....
OK that's about it. Good luck to everyone in week 2.
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