DFL Week 16: And there were great lamentations.

Well, it's the end of the road for two more teams this week.  Congratu-freaking-lations to the victors.  You bastards.  Does it make you feel like a big man to crush your poor commissioner's dreams of taking home the gold one year?  Tell 'em, Dawson:

What's next?  You gonna make Joey cry?  (Wait a minute, I've got a Dawson's Creek sad theme going and I didn't use this image?

Shit, Phil, get your head in the game...)

And while you're at it, why not just make the Docta sad too???

OK OK OK... Enough intro, we've got some football to talk about!

Big, big news in the pick'ems league... Crutch wrestled first place from Kookie this week by going 3-1 on picks, whereas Kookie only went 2-2.  Melanie also went 3-1, jumping her up to 6th, place, as RA Dave neglected to make picks this week.  Everyone else pretty much shit the bed going 1-3 this week.  So, it's all going to come down to week 17 for first place.  Ben's still got a shot at 3rd place, as well.  Needless to say, this is the tightest that the pick'ems have ever been.  Right on, suckas.

Though, and I hope that this isn't viewed as sour grapes, but I should have 4 more correct picks myself, which would put me in contention for gold as well.  However, to stop my losing streak (you may recall me bitching mercilessly about it earlier on in the season), I started picking against myself.  Since it worked week to week, I kept voting against myself.  So, I should be closer to 50.  But I stand by my picks as this stupid little ritual  sent me on a 5 game winning streak.  (When *you're* at week 10 with 3 wins under your belt, you see if you don't go all superstitious!  Yeah, I'm looking at you +Scott Belgrave and +Chris Kucharik.  (Son of a bitch!  Google has been telling me that I can tag people on G+ here, but I don't think that it work.  You lying bastards, Google!)

And now to the meat and potatoes.  Starting with the Championship bracket and then moving in to the Consolation bracket:

The Big Guns Game:  Melanie versus Patrick.  No idea what happened here.  Patrick's QB and WR threw down 30 and 20 points respectively.  Hmm... Wait, Melanie's threw down 29 and 20 points.  And they both had two more players well into the double digits.  O wait, I see what it is...  Melanie's DEF and K beat Patrick's DEF and K.  In fact... how much was that differential?   9 points...  Hmmm... how big was the points differential in the game?  9 points...  Does that mean... that K and DEF win games?  I think that this shows it pretty definitively...  (And how's this for some shit?  Patrick's backup QB thres down 25 points.  Seriously, you jerks, I was searching desperately for a QB this week, but there was none to be had...)  So, Melanie heads into the championship game.  Congrats, Melanie.

The Scrappy Underdog Game:  Missy versus Phil.  Well, this was a hell of a match up going into the week.  I had to make a bunch of changes in the roster to even stand a chance.  I picked up Dez Bryant (and the accompanying 32 points - booyah!).  Sadly, there were no QBs or DEFs to be had.  So, I wound up with Roethlisberger, which to be sure was a hail mary, and keeping SF DEF starting.  SF was going up against Seattle which any other year would have been fine.  However, Seattle had clocked in over 100 points in the previous two weeks, so it was a risk keeping in the SF DEF.  Sadly, both of these chances blew up in my face.  Then, Missy's team just went buck wild - Manning in at over 20 points, Chicago DEF at 29...  Just a good game all around for Missy, who BTW hit line up Nirvana with her entire bench totaling 4 points.  So, Missy goes on to face Melanie in the championship and once again we'll have a lady hoisting the gold in the DFL.

The Yeah, this makes sense that they are here game:  Mike G versus Ben:  Not a lot of big jump out players in this game...  Everyone seemed to do about as well as expected, except for Davis (on Mike G's Team) and Wallace (on Ben's team), who both walked away from the game with 1 point.  Really, the big difference maker in this game was Reggie Bush going crazy in Buffalo and pulling in 28 points.  Just to be sure that everyone hears that right, Bush pulled in more points than Peyton Manning.  He pulled in more points than Wes Welker.  Geez, More points than Ray Rice. So, congrats to Mike G for being one step closer to being the bitch of the playoffs.

Finally, the upset bowl:  Joy versus RA Dave.One more upset left in this game:  Everyone voted for Joy, and RA Dave somehow managed to sneak in a win.  Joy just had one kick to the ass after another here.  Her QB was knocked out in the first round (and BTW, bold move benching Rivers just out of spite), then the stud RB of the league, Arian Foster was benched due to an irregular heartbeat and Victor Cruz hardly even played because Shitty Manning decided that he wanted to be the honorary Romo of the year.  Meanwhile, the real Romo sat on RA Dave's bench racking up 32 points.  (WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE???)  So, Joy heads into the Bitch of the Playoffs game next week.

So, here are the match ups for next week:

Melanie versus Missy for the gold.  (Yep, that's right, a 6 seed might take home gold!)

Patrick versus Phil for the bronze. (Yep, that's right the 7 seed is going to be beaten bloody this week.)

Ben versus RA Dave for fun. (Both 5th & 6th will be good draft positions, so not exactly a lot on the line here.)

Mike G versus Joy for the bitch of the playoffs.  (Not quite so dramatic as the sacko, but it's something to be avoided.)

(And of course, Crutch versus Kookie for both coolest nickname AND pick'ems.)

That's about it this week.  I'd wish you all good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it.  (I know that I certainly don't....)