I was at your fine establishment this afternoon, browsing for some last minute gifts for Christmas. While walking around in your store, I noticed some classification problems.
- Under the "Romance" section, the 50 Shades of Gray Trilogy was proudly displayed. I have to take umbrage at this classification, as it implies that romance was involved in the book. From the second hand account that I received from a pretty reliable source, it has more to do with contract negotiation. Therefore, I humbly request that you move these books to the "Stupid Bullshit" section.
- I passed a section called "Teenage Supernatural Romance". Please destroy this section. It is shameful that this is even a sub-genre. Might I suggest the "Stupid Bullshit" section again?
- And since we're talking about this section, may I once again pitch you my unpublished novel called "My Gothic Romance: The New Gelatinous Cube in School". But it's not what you think. A new kid with an emo haircut wearing lots of eye make up starts going to school in a small town. The misunderstood artistic girl meets him and a burgeoning romance commences. But can she cope with the fact that he's actually a highly acidic being whose very touch breaks down all carbon-based beings that he comes in contact with? I won't ruin it for you, though I do think that it would go well with your rapidly expanding "Stupid Bullshit" section.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours,
Phil Rau.
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