DFL 2017 Week 16: Well, that happened...

OK... so let's just get this out of the way... this was not an impressive week. 

Let's just start off with the Pick'em league.  There was... 1 correct pick across the week.  That's... that's impressively bad. 

So, congrats to Crutch for going 1-3, while Ben and I both goose egged.  Which means that not much has changed with respect to the standings:

Ben:  52
Phil:  51
Crutch:  38
Josh:  33
Mike:  28
Terri:  25
Patrick:  15

(As a side note, for posterity's sake, this was Christmas week, so I know that I pretty much just picked blindly.  Maybe that accounts for everyone'e shitty performance this week?)

As for the games themselves... usually I work my way from the top scores all the way down to the lowest scores... Can't do that this week because both winners from the consolation bracket beat both in the championship bracket because... ugh....  OK, let's start at the champ bracket at least....

Crutch vs. Josh.  Do you hear that sound?  It's the sound of the 7th seed doing ANOTHER upset and this time delivering the beat down of the weak. All season, Josh has been relying on Dak and the Jacksonville D.  Sadly, this week, they both took the week off.  This left Crutch's solid (though by no means impressive team) get past them into the championship game...

D vs. Ben.  now, this was a close game!!!  And the whole weekend was neck and neck.  D pulled it out (barely) on Monday night, squeezing a victory with by less than a point.  Which, yeah,I guess is par for the course this year.  Hell, D even spotting Ben a WR!  (I got bitten by Crabtree being benched at the last minute in another league, though it didn't work out nearly as well for me...)  So, let's see if D can squeak by one more week to pull in the championship ring next week.

Kyle vs. Phil.  Kyle bounced back from his defeat last week by throwing down the most points of the week! I know that that sounds impressive, but it only totaled to 72 points.  Still, it was enough.  Sadly, it was against league favorite Phil.  I know, I know.  Back to back losses in the playoffs is never fun, but I lay the blame squarely on Nick Foles.  Last week, he had his way with the G-men. This week, he barely eeked out a victory against the Raiders.  And in doing so, he screwed me.  Dammit.  So, now, Kyle advanced for seeding of the draft next year, while Phil advances to the bitch bowl.

Kerry vs. Patrick.  Yeah, this might be the surprise of all surprises this week.  Patrick pulled in over 20 points with his D and another 11 with his TE.  Kerry, on the other hand goose egged with her TE, but still pulled in victory.  (Her D going 20+ points, RB almost as much and other RB hitting double digits didn't hurt much either.  So, in the surprise of all surprises, Patrick is heading to the bitch bowl too.  Good luck to Kerry with her seeding next week though!

OK, so that leaves three real games to watch next week:

D vs.Crutch in the championship.  This is both their first entry into the championship game - well done!  D is slightly favored at this point, but this week kinda proved that it doesn't mean anything.

Ben vs. Josh in the last ditch effort to pull in a medal this year.  Josh is heavily, heavily favored in here.  Good luck, guys!

Patrick vs. Phil in the bitch bowl.  Sucks to get into the playoffs and then lose three straight.  Thus becoming the playoff bitch.  Would suck extra for you to be a second seed and have that happen.  I'm just sayin'...

Of course, the real kicker is that it's week 17.  So any team with a late game who was on the husp of a playoff berth but the early games didn't shake out might just be benching players after all.  But maybe not?  Isn't week 17 fun?

DFL 2017 Week 15: Here comes the playoffs

Well, they playoffs are upon us and they are just kicking everyone in the nuts aren't they?

Ok, so technically, it's only kicking HALF of the people's nuts who played this week, and really that's only like two thirds of the league overall....  YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT!!  DON'T CONFUSE ME WITH YOUR MATH LEARNING!

Before the games, let's take a peek at the Pick'ems.  FFS, those even kicked people in the nuts.  The people in particular being Ben, Crutch, and myself, who all went 2-2. Which means that... we might have all of just not picked. 

On the plus side, Crutch does get a "YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!" award for not getting any votes, but still getting the win.  Congrats, you salty bastard!

Man, I've missed these...

Phil vs. Ben.  Motherfucker.  I was slated to win. I went into Sunday up THIRTY DAMN POINTS!!  And I could have won it all, should I have gone another way.  (I hemmed and hawed over putting Olsen in, but decided against it, which cost me the game.)  But really, this does kind of sum up my season.  Plus, I Ben'ed it this week, AGAINST Ben, which is frustrating. 

Well done, Ben. Enjoy your extra time in the playoffs, you jerk face.

Josh vs. Kerry.  Ugh... well, if this doesn't hurt, I don't know what does.Josh laid down the beat down of the week.  He was projected to do so, but the way that it went down was nothing less than spectacular.  In one of Josh's more restrained scoring outing, he scored the third highest points of the week, with no huge superstars to speak of.  Kerry, ont eh other hand just imploded like I've not seen before.  Wilson shit the bed (against the RAMS? Really?) Jackson, Henry, and Fournette were hurt early in the games,   And, again, the Seattle D was pummeled by the freaking Rams. 

Heck of a way to end your rookie season, Kerry.  Sorry to see it go down like that....

Crutch vs. Patrick.  Crutch went into this game as a 4 point underdog.  Yet somehow, he pulled out a win with 5 points to spare.  Both teams played well, it's just that Crutch somehow played a little better than Patrick.  The real kicker for Patrick is that his ace in the hole is Elliott who is coming back NEXT week.  Just in time for it not to matter..  Well done pulling the upset, Crutch.  Good luck.  You sure as hell are going to need it moving forward.

D vs Kyle.  Another upset!  This game was actually projected within a point, but id didn't quite get there.  Each team had their QB and a Flex player post decent numbers.  But D was able to take this one to the bank with his superior TE.  (Yay, Ertz!)  Everyone else on the field was just kinda ho-hum.  Crongrats to D for advancing to the  next round.  ( I do believe that this might be the farthest that he has ever gotten.  I don't want to jinx it, but congratulations, good sir!

So, that means that in the semi-final round, we have
Ben vs. D
Josh vs Crutch

And in the consolation bracket:
Phil vs. Kyle
Patrick vs. Kerry

Good luck, guys!  Only two games left!

DFL 2017 Week 14: What an end!!

I know that this is usually the part of the write up where I bitch and moan about how someone or something has wronged me.  And I know that all y'all have come to expect it in the normal rhythm of the wrap ups,but lemme just say this:  Holy fuck, boys!  What a great weekend for football!!

Me all day Sunday.

Full disclosure: I might be on a bit of a football high as this was the most football that I have seen pretty much all season.  I was sad that I had to go to my son's birthday party until I saw that there were TVs EVERYWHERE and they were all playing different NFL games.  It was pretty much wonderful. I mean, officially, I was keeping my eyes on my son.  But, unofficially:

Anyways, we had a blizzard game (yay lake effect snow!), TWO games that were decided in the 3rd OT drive by touch downs, the Panthers win, the Eagles win, the Sunday night game is decided by a single freaking point, and Oh yeah, the Pats lose on national television.  Let me put that another way:  Culter beat Brady on Monday night football.

Did not see that coming....  I mean, pretty much everything came up aces this weekend.

Wait.  Shit.  Nevermind....

Anyway, before we get into the nitty gritty details, let's just say goodbye to the teams that didn't  make the post season this year:

Terri - This one has to hurt since the second to last place team beat you this week, which knocked you out of the playoffs.  Salt in the wound?  It was her husband that did it.
McClennen - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Auto draft sucks.  But the fact that you only made 9 moves all year says that maybe auto draft wasn't the only problem....
Mike - It was over long before this week, but way to go out on a high note.  Thanks for kicking your wife out of the post season, so that I may advance to get utterly destroyed by Ben next week. 
Skoot- With a whopping 2 moves all season, Skoot stopped caring long ago.  Sorry, man.  Hey - at least you get a good draft position next year, huh?

Alright, let's get to it...  Pick 'ems!

Erm... League Pick'ems, that is.

So, I'll just say this right up front.  This season has been pretty freaking random and this was pretty much the perfect way to end it.  That is to say nobody being able to pick the winners.

High picks this week was Mike, who broke even at 3-3.  THen, Josh and Phil pulled in an astonishingly bad 2-4.  Finally, Crutch and Ben somehow stumbled into 1-5 picks.  So, yeah, everyone sucks.

This leaves us with the regular season picks 'em like this:

Ben:  50
Phil:  49
Crutch:  35
Josh:  33
Mike:  28
Terri:  25
Patrick:  15

So, congratulations to Mike for finally pulling ahead of Terri.  Josh - so close to medalling..  And screw Ben.  I was actually going back and forth in my head thinking whether to choose Ben's opponent, since I knew that he chose himself.  Shoulda.  Didn't.  And that means that Ben wins the regular season pick'ems.  And for those keeping track, this means that Ben might just get the perfect trifecta:  Survival (already tied Patrick for the win), Pick 'ems (won the regular season outright), and the League itself (1st seed and going strong).  So.. good luck, Ben?

And now for the shit show that was the actual games this week.  Fun side note:  All 4 of the top teams took losses this week.  So, way to go underdogs!

Phil vs. Patrick.  I did not see this coming.  OK I guess that I did vote for it, but I was not expecting my team to have the highest score of the week AND deliver the beat down of the week.  the good news is that Wentz put in a solid performance, before being knocked out for the season...  But hey, Rodgers should be coming back next week, right?  RIGHT???  The good news for Phil is that this win sneaks him into the playoffs.  The bad news for Patrick is... actually there is none.  This game didn't change anything for him.  So, everyone's a winner!

McClennen vs Josh.  Again, another huge upset.  See McClennen?  This is how it feels when your team actually plays. What really hurts for Josh (and thank you for pointing this out, Josh) is that Josh only lost by 6 points here.  The problem is - you remember how both OT games which were decided by a TD?  Well, the players that scored said touchdowns were both on McClennen's team. 

Pictured above:  Josh reacts to his shitty luck.

D vs Kerry.  This is probably the game that meant most (outside of Phil desperately trying to get into the playoffs).  They were ranked 5th and 6th.  So, they were fighting to play the 4th seed (which, in this case, is Kyle who is the only non-points scored powerhouse among the top seeds).  D wound up pulling an upset and winning the game, mostly thanks to Williams and Thomas.  No thanks go to Ertz, who was benched at the last minute due to a concussion.  Kerry, who is still holding onto Cutler, just couldn't get her starters to, you know, start.

Kerry's whole team this week.

Crutch vs. Ben.  Now, normally I'm all on board with Ben losing.  The shitty thing this week is that Ben losing here *almost* kept me from the post season.  And I would have accused Ben of taking a dive just to spite me (because that's the kind of guy that he is), but really his whole team, even his bench just didn't show up.  I mean, by far, his highest scorer was his kicker. Crutch just had a really solid game.  (Side note: Dammit, Crutch where are you getting all of these high scoring TEs??  I can't find one to save my life!!!)  Nothing more to say on this one...

Skoot vs. Kyle.  Man, Skoot really shit the bed here.  QB goes negative, kicker barely gets on the board, defense just doesn't take the field.  Luckily for Skoot, Bell and Gurley were more than happy to pick up everyone else's slack.  Those two players pulled in almost all of Skoot's points.  Kyle, on the other hand, just couldn't get any of his starters going.  Not much to do here, except lick your wounds going into the play offs, Kyle. 

Nobody fucks with da Kyle.

Mike vs. Terri  This one didn't really mean much to Mike.  IT means a hell of a lot to Terri.  Sadly, Mike was able to wrestle this game away form Terri for the best reason of all: spite.  The big winner i the game was really Denver's D who shut out the Jets.  Outside of that, everything was pretty low scoring on both sides.  So, enjoy your time off for the next few weeks, Gs!

And that's about it!  Playoff are upon us and here's the match ups:

Ben (1) vs Phil (8)
Patrick (2) vs Crutch (7)
Josh (3) vs Kerry (6)
Kyle (4) vs D (5)

And fun side note on the playoffs: All 3 new teams (Kerry, Josh, and Kyle) made it into the playoffs.  Well done, all!

DFL 2017 Week 13: Ugh.. the pain.. it doesn't stop.

Well.. it's been a week.  A week that's seen 4 more teams lock down their playoff berth.  And in case you're wondering, no one of them wasn't me.

Ugh... but congratulations to Ben, Patrick, Josh, Kyle, Kerry, and D. They are all now guaranteed a post season. That leaves two spots open and three teams vying for them: Terri, Crutch, and Phil.  Terri and Crutch have more wins, but Phil's got more points.  So, all that Phil needs to do to sneak into the playoffs is to beat the competition this week.  And that competition would be the overall second ranked and second highest points total overall.  Well, then.....

ffffuuudge....

Pick 'ems!   Well, full picks this week.  Josh came out on top with 4-2, followed by Ben, Mike, and Terri pulling in 3-3.  Crutch limped along at 2-4.  Sadly, that wasn't the worst performance this week.  Phil tanked with an abysmal 1-5.  And that means that we have a new leader:

Ben:  49
Phil:  47
Crutch: 34
Josh:  31
Mike:  25
Terri:  25
Patrick:  15

 Lots of upsets this week and that just means that we've got a pretty dynamic game on our hands where anyone ... can... goddammit, Ben.  I mean, this is like your anti-minor all over again.  You make bullshit picks at the beginning of the season and somehow you bullshit your way to the top.

Complete side note here... did you know how awesome the ASL sign for bullshit is?

Cuz now you do.

All that being said, let chat on these games, shall we?

Ben vs. McClennen.  Holy fuck shit, Batman!  Ben broke into the centurian club here and delivered the beat down of the week.  Every freaking body on Ben's team was firing on all cylinders.  Ben's lowest scorer still beat most of McClennen's players.  This is kinda how this game felt:

While this was a meaningless game for Ben (he's long since locked down the 1st seed), it killed any of McClennen's post season dreams....

Josh vs. Skoot.  Again, pretty much everyone that Josh started was kicking all sorts of ass.  (Though, sadly, he was still 20 points lower than Ben in overall points this week.)  And Skoot.... well at least he put in most of his starters.  Most of them.  I mean, not starting Bell for the last 6 weeks was a bold choice, but good for Skoot for actually putting him in this week.  But Josh took it in typical, understated fashion:

Crutch vs. D.  Well, this sure was an interesting game...  D lost, but still secured a playoff berth.  Crutch won, and is fighting for the post season.  Also, the fact that the Miami D put up damn near 40 points for Crutch didn't hurt any either.  You've kinda got to feel for D, though.  He's got pretty much the streakiest team in the league.  Cousins is either crazy hot or terrible, last week Jones had a 30 point game, this week?  2 catches.  Well, get it out of your system now, I suppose, D.  And Crutch, savor the win while you can.  You're gonna need all of the help that you can muster to get into the playoffs...

What?  This was the first GIS hit for "savory".

Kyle vs. Patrick  Well, if this isn't a big old cup of what the hell happened?  Sure, Kyle put up a decent score here, but Patrick just shit the bed this week.  And what is going to make it hurt even more is that Gronk is suspended (at least for now) for 1 week.  So, his bench is going to be getting even more crowded.  Also, side note.  Kyle is still crazy Pat heavy.  So, the fact that he was somehow able to squirrel a win out of this  game when Tom Brady didn't see the end zone even once is nothing less than astonishing.

Kerry vs. Mike.  Well, Kerry hit line up Nirvana, while Mike..... Mike really REALLY didn't....  Mike almost scored as many points on his bench as he did with his starters.  Not much else to say about this one...

 Terri vs. Phil.  Last, and certainly least, Terri whooped on Phil this week.  So, that means that I'm ending the season as badly as I started it.  (Back to Back wins against the Gs at the front, and back to back losses against the Gs now.)  No huge stories in this game.  Terri's players just sucked a little less than my players.

Alright folks.  As mentioned above, it's do or die for 3 of us.  Seeding, time for 5 of us, 3 of us have already checked out.  And fuck Ben.  So, good luck this week!  I sure as hell know that I'm going to need it.