DFL 2016 Week 5: Back to this stupid crap.

Yeah, so here we are..  Week 5.  Multiple write ups.  Wailing and gnashing of teeth....  Though, when you're getting screwed this hard the only thing that you can do is to make snide comments on the write up, right?  I mean, really the only question that I have for this hate filled league is this:

I've tried to be cool about everyone and their mama beating me (Well, except Terri - thanks, T-Dawg!), but that's it.  Gloves are off.  Time for me to go buck ass wild on all y'all, starting... next week.

Though before we get into this I've noticed a disturbing trend amongst the top dog in this league.  They never seem to talk a lot of shit.  Usually, it's quiet (like Missy) or saying that the rules are giving them the wins (like Ben / Kookie).  I mean, it's certainly not skill.  You top dog jackasses couldn't win your way out of a paper bag, without one key element.  That's right. It's all luck.

Erm... different kind of luck...

So, please top dogs.  A little decorum, please.

Elimination League!  Not a lot of excitement here.   4 out of 6 of the picks fully backed Brady's return to the league by picking the Pats.  OK, they were playing the Browns, but still.  Maybe Brady had a mousse accident and lost the magic arm of his, you don't know.  But regardless, all of the picks were correct this week and the only strike goes to Skoot who boldly didn't make a pick.  So, goodbye, Skoot.  I would say that we'll miss you, but it would probably come off as sarcastic, like when Agent Smith said it.

Mostly because it would be sarcastic, only moreso.

Picks Picks,Picks, Picks, Picks.  Yeah, Terri is kicking some major ass here.  She went 5-1, and extended her lead over Phil (who only went 3-3 this week) and RA Dave (who caught up to second place by going 42 this week).  Mike is still in it, going an impressive 3-3 this week.  So, the standings are:

Terri:  21
Phil:  17
RA Dave: 17
Mike: 15

Every one on the list is still within striking distance of first place.  Everyone else in the league?  Well, one good pick will pull you out of the tie for last place... so there's that.

Now on to that which matters the most.....

Phil vs. RA Dave.  What.  The.  Fuck.  I Can take losing.  I can take a crazy Eagles-Lions game where Mattews pulls in a sad 4 catches while Riccick chalks up just shy of 20 points.  What I can't warp my damn head around is how Vinatieri got 23 FREAKING POINTS.  That is more than anyone else on the field got.  I mean, I know that I always say that kickers win games, but this is completely nuts.  To sum up the game:

And in case you're wondering, yes, I am proud that I found this gif.

Crutch vs Terri.  Hey, someone had to win this one, and congratulations to Terri for pulling in the W, even if it was kinda by default.  I was going to give Crutch a hard time about starting 2 players on BYE this week, but then I saw that he had but a single player on his bench who had actually scored anything at all.  So.. erm... Chin up, chum!  Next week is another week!  And Terri... congrats on moving out of last place. Enjoy the moment...

Kookie vs. Mike.  And here's the Power House Game.  #1 vs #2.   Kookie vs. Mike.  And I think that I can speak for all of us when I say:

I know, I know, I don't like that these two are sitting at the top of the league either.  But on the plus side, this does mean that the undefeated streak ends here for one of them.  And it did with great flurry.  Mike lost this week.  Bad.  Like beat down of the week bad.  Like EVERYONE else in the league would have beaten him bad.  (OK, Crutch wouldn't have beaten him, but he would have if he had put the only scorer in on his bench.)  Now, in Mike's defense (I think?), he did hit line up Nirvana, except that he started Tannehill, when it would have been better to start Brees, who was on BYE this week.  And Kookie.  What can we say about Kookie. He's firing on all cylinders now.  I'll let Tosh put this into the correct words:

Melanie vs. McClennen.  Wow... battle of the defenses here...  Melanie barely eeked out a victory here, what with Anderson and Brown both clocking in at less than a point each.  Plus, with BYE weeks pretty much killing her team this week, Melanie should count her lucky stars.  McClennen on the other hand tastes a loss once again.  But it can't be too surprising.  I mean his choices for QB are Rivers and Cousins. I mean that's like Sophie's Choice, but much much worse.

Skoot vs. Patrick.  Two 1-3 teams came in, and Patrick rises up to 6th place with his win.  The most notable thing about this game is that Skoot's TEs totally about 35 points here.  Kinda makes you wish that there was more than one starting, TE, doesn't it?

but you know that I've got nothing but love for my TEs.

Missy vs Ben.  Well, this was ... a game?  Kinda?  With a huge score of 67 over 60, Ben took this win.  What's impressive is that BOTH teams hit line up Nirvana.  You wanna know why it's so easy for me to say that?  Cuz combined, their bench players scored 4.3 points.  And that's only because the one benched player who actually score points was a QB.  Kinda.

I mean, technically.

Missy didn't even have enough players to fill out her roster.

On the plus side, next week should be better without so many damn BYEs, right?  RIGHT???

And as a side note to think about to finish this post off.  It's been over a month with Waivers in place.  What's everyone's thoughts on it?  It doesn't look like there's an insane amount of moves yet this year. I've actually got the most at 9, and Patrick is next at 7.  I'm not sure how many people have gotten burned by it yet.  I'm doing pretty good with it,what with being in shit ass fuckall place all year.  I will say that it certainly makes me think about what I need and prioritize it a bit.  It's certainly different.  And I'm not hating it.  Anyone else have thoughts?