That's right, bitches, I'm number 1 with a bullet. Which means that I have a hella-easy match up to start out the play offs. Who gets the great honor of falling to my wrath first? Ben. That is to say the guy who has the second highest points in the league (and only missing the top slot by a scant 5 points). Please allow me to show you my reaction for the upcoming match up:
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| Ben throttled me in the first time that we played this season and only lost the second time because two of his starters were benched early. Fuck. |
Big week in pick'ems...Ben was top dog this week by going 4-2. Crutch and Phil tied with 3-3. Skoot rounded out the bottom with his 2-4 picks. (OK, technically RA Dave also correctly made a pick this week. This brings him into double digits. Slow and steady, sir. Slow and steady...) So, that means that going into the playoffs, the ties have been broken: Crutch (49 points), Ben (48 points), Phil (47 points), Skoot (46 points). Terri is next with 40 points and Mike right behind her at 39 points. Well, geez, even that got interesting....
The name of the game in week 14 seemed to be vengeance... A few deciding games were won by people who really didn't need to show up. But who did anyway, to kill a few seasons. And I say Bravo to you fine folks....
First up is the battle of the Daves.
RA Dave brutally savaged Crutch this week. This is delicious in that it knocked Crutch out of the playoffs, as well as made the exclusive club of people who have lost to RA Dave grow just a little more. Fun fact: The only people who lost to RA Dave are out of the playoffs. (Well, Mike G is also part of this exclusive group, but he'll soon be eliminated as well.)
RA Dave gets the come from behind victory award for prooving all of the projections and nay-sayers wrong. And the fact that his DEF got about a third of his overall points should not take away from this victory at all...
Crutch gets the WELL I DIDN'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU ASSHOLES ANYWAYS ceremonial ball. His team is just about as projected. Nothing he could have done would have made a difference and he'll be spending the playoffs cursing us all...
Next, is the Lady Bowl: Melanie vs Missy
Missy didn't really need to win this one. She was almost certainly in. But the fact that she rose up and struck Melanie out of the playoffs really should warm the cockles of all of ours hearts.
Missy gets the Loves Me Some Snow In Philly award. McCoy pretty much won the game for her. And why is that? Because in the Philly nobody could throw the ball. So, a'runnin' we went. And McCoy just cleaned up. Lest we forget, here is what it looked like:
Melanie, on the other hand, is awarded the STUPID INJURIES gold star of participation. She probably would have won the game had Peterson not been injured in the game so early. Melanie plans to laugh at us heartily all through the post season.
And in the last to be eliminated (yet somehow the first to be eliminated) bowl: Kookie versus Mike G.
Yep, Mike G took his Kookie BYE this week. And a fine time to do so as well. Mike delivered the beatdown of the week to Kookie this week with an almost 50 point margin of victory.
Mike G gets the You talking to me??? paranoia necklace. His victory lands him squaring off against his dear wife next week. Good luck there, bro.
Kookie... congratulations. You have officially finished the season perfectly. But not the good perfectly. The very very bad perfectly. Well, at least you accomplished something this season. And here is the perfect image for you:
Take this season out back, put a bullet betwixt its eyes and be done with it. Start fresh next season.
Battle of the old Roomies: Ben vs Phil.
This one went straight down to the wire. If you recall, this projection was within a point. Going into Monday night, I had a 45 points lead. So, just as long as *some* defense showed up somewhere, this was going to be a blow out. But NOPE! Romo almost did it again. But I still eeked out a victory by 3 points.
Phil gets the OK But next time it's Personal award. Barely claiming the victory (And let's be honest - Dalton really isn't a 30 point QB), and making it so that we do the same match up next week. Rah!
Ben gets the Ben award for once again scoring the second highest points in the week, but happening to be playing the team with the first highest points. But you do have the second highest points in the league and are seeded 8th in the playoffs, so you've got that going for you.
The Seeding Spot Bowl: Patrick vs McClennen.
Not really a lot of interesting stuff happening here. Both are in the playoffs, they were just jockeying for position. In the end, Patrick took this in a pretty decisive victory.
Patrick gets the "Old School, Get Carried by an RB" award. Stafford was nerfed by the snow, Jennings got hurt. So, screw it. We'll let the RBs win. And Charles and Bernard stepped up.
McClennen gets the "Why can I not get all of my starters on the board" lanyard. After a few weeks of forgetting to start a TE, McClennen finally gets his full line up set, only to have Bush hurt himself in warm ups, sidelining him for the entire game. Eesh.
The Clash of the Titans (Skoot versus Terri)
This game was a little bit of a disappointment. I mean, this was the #1 versus the #3 team and they were outscored by like 3/4 of the league. But looking at the line ups... Nobody except for their QBs really showed up.
Skoot - you get the "Winning by Hook or Crook, but most luck" award. Nobody on your team got into double digits except for Brees. And you still won? What the hell???
Terri gets the "no worries, I'll just make up for it in the playoffs" trophy. A frustrating way to end the regular season to be sure but really the next three weeks are what is important.
So, where does that leave us? The playoffs baby!!
Phil vs Ben, the grudge match. We've played each other twice this year and split the games. This is for the whole enchilada. Plus, this is the highest over points (me) versus the runner up for that award (Ben). And guess what - the projections are within 1.5 points.... Ugh...
The other big game is the battle of the Gs: Mike vs Terri. Last year, Mike solely represented the G clan in the playoffs. This year, not only did Terri make it into the playoffs, but she made a run for 1st seed. and what a way to start off the playoffs. By putting strain on a marriage. Well played, fate!
Patrick vs Missy is going to be a tight one (projections within 3 points). So, that's another one to watch.
Oh yeah, and Skoot is going to slaughter McClennen. Time for an upset, Orth-boy.
Good luck to everyone except for Ben. To him, a pox.
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